Lies and Truth
by amroberts17
Summary: Jessica returns and she has a secret. Will Sam accept her back, even after he learns the truth? Will they be able to fight along side together and kill the Yellow Eyed Demon once and for all? Can true love prevail?
1. Chapter 1: The Return

Supernatural: The Return of Jessica

This story doesn't really fit anywhere in the seasons of the show. I'm pulling elements from previous and new seasons. The yellow eyed demon isn't dead and Ruby is the still the brunette who hooked up with Sam. Castille is helping Sam and Dean find the yellow eyed demon in order to kill him and stop Lillith. I really wanted Jessica to come back, especially for Sam, but there needed to be some kind of a twist..... This is my version.

"Jessica?" He sputtered the words, his eyes wide with disbelief. He crouched next to a pile of dust, where a vampire had just been, the vampire I just killed in order to save his life. He looked so beautiful. He hadn't changed.... not much. His brown hair was still long and fell into his big warm eyes. He was still dressed in his uniform of jeans and a plaid shirt. His body was still toned and a part of me yearned to reach out and touch him.... but the look in his eyes told me that wasn't a good idea. 

Behind him, I could see the action dying down. Dean and Castille were done staking the vamps and were now giving me the same look Sam was giving me. The looks became too much for me, so I lowered my head and stared at the concrete floor of the warehouse. I dropped the large knife I held in my hand and watched it fall onto the floor, leaving a few smudges of scarlet blood.

 Part of me wished I hadn't come. If Castille would have just let this all go, there would be no need for me to be here, no need to see my Sam look at me as if I were a ghost, no need to have my heart broken again as I left. This was all a bad bad idea. I was ashamed Castille talked me into it. But, had I not been here Sam might have been bitten and I wouldn't have had the chance to look into my love's eyes. I felt them penetrate me right through into my soul. I took a deep breath, counted to three and then raised my head to return his warm hazel eyes.

"Hi Sam."


	2. Chapter 2: One Step Closer

Chapter 2:

"Unbelievable." Dean's voice broke the silence that enclosed the warehouse. Both of the Winchester boys continued to stare at me. I've never been one to avoid eye contact, but I was scared beyond anything I had ever been afraid of. Dean and Castille walked closer, standing right behind Sam, who had decided to get up from his crouching position. I crossed my arms in front of my body, feeling my long arms wrap around my sides. I was completely uncomfortable, and it took every ounce of strength I had not to bolt out the door.

Castille must have sensed my feelings and decided to take action. He walked right up to me in his trench coat and suit and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me into an innocent brotherly embrace and I gave myself into it, feeling safer than I had before. I closed my eyes and held on, hoping to be comforted. I've known Castille for a long time, nearly 500 years. Seeing him again gave me hope. Though I had heard his voice only 4 hours before, seeing him made all the difference.

Once he pulled away from my body, his hands reached up and grasped my shoulders. He lowered his eyes to mine and my hands went to his wrists.

"Good to see you again Jessica." It was all he needed to say. I smiled, trying not to relinquish the tears I felt burning in my eyes. He gave me a reassuring squeeze then turned around to face the two brothers.

Sam and Dean's facial expressions hadn't changed one bit. In fact, they were more contorted with confusion from Castille's actions. I guess he hadn't told them. My cheeks burned and I crossed my arms again. They both continued to stare as Castille keep looking between the three of us. His head bouncing like a spectator's at a tennis match. The silence continued for a good 5 minutes. No one spoke and the silence was deafening. I felt self-concious in my dark blue skinny jeans and black tank top. I was barefooted and my long hair was pulled into a loose braid as my side swept bangs hovered over my right temple. I had no make up on and I knew I looked gross from having just fought vampires. This was so not how I wanted Sam to see me for the first time again.

After the roaring silence died down a bit from the streets outside, Castille broke it, suggesting we head back to the motel. He turned to leave and gently placed a hand on my mid back, guiding me out the door. I heard Sam and Dean follow after a minute as we all clunked down the stairs. Once we were outside in the cool evening, we parted ways. Dean and Sam took the Impala back to the hotel while Castille and I could shift back. Once the boys and the car were out of sight, I turned to Castille.

"You didn't tell them?" I looked him dead in the eye. I needed answers. He shook his head and responded with, "No. I didn't think it would be beneficial."

"Did you see the way he looked at me?' My voice cracked and my arms went back to holding me again. 'How can I ever explain this? He'll never believe me, not after what I did. He'll never forgive me,' My voice wavered, thinking of all the lies and truths I had blended together in order to maintain Sam in my life. 'When he.... When he finds out, he'll kill me." The tears I had been holding in silently dropped down my face. Castille raised his arm and wiped them away as I snuffled, crinkling my nose.

"He won't,' His voice was calm and steady. 'He's not going to kill you. He couldn't do that. We just need to explain this. Explain everything. Once the truth is out, he'll see and understand. Have faith little Jessica. God wants you to have faith." He smiled down on my face, reassuring me that the fears I was plagued with were not all true. I smiled back, keeping my lips closed.

"Well, we better get this over with." We shifted into the night, going towards the once person I was dreading having see.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

By the time we reached the dinky motel, the Impala was already parked. No lights were on except for the street lamps, the motel vacancy sign, and room 112. Castille walked up towards the purple motel door. Once he reached the mat, he turned to me, waiting patiently for me to gather my strength and march ahead. With one final deep breath, I walked toward my fate. I stood on the mat with Castille and just as I was about to ask for another moment, he rapped his knuckles against the wood and gave me a crooked smile. An angel he may be, but annoying he was.

Dean opened the door, his eyes focused on me. I could sense the deja vous radiating from his body. Castille and I stepped into the room stopping before the two single beds before us. Sam sat quietly on the farthest one with his hands tucked into his lap. He was leaning over as he sat on the bed. His back was tense, his entire body was tense. As Dean walked by us I could sense his tension as well. The atmosphere was tense and I was suffocating, dying to get out.

Dean walked towards Sam and stood next to him, standing near the corner of the bed Sam was occupying. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared me down in defiance. After looking both me and Castille over, he cleared his throat.

"What the hell is going on?' His voice was harsh and raised, sending goosebumps down my spine. 'No, what EXACTLY is going on? What the hell is SHE doing here?"

"Dean, let Jessica and I explain..."

"No. What the hell is that doing here?" Dean interrupted

"Dean.' Sam finally looked up and put his hand on his brother. He silently shook his head and then stood. I shifted so that rather then be shoulder to shoulder with Castille, I was a bit behind him, trying to hide the shaking my body was releasing. He looked Castille in the eyes and then turned to mine. 'We just... I just want to know what's going on." His voice was raw, filled with pain and uncertainty.

Rather than answer, Castille waltzed over to the table and chairs that were to his left and sat down. He looked at me and I stared back.

"Jessica, I think you should explain this one." His voice was calm and soothing.

I knew I had to do it. I didn't want to, but I had to. So, I took a shaky breath, looked up into Sam and Dean's eyes and confidently said, "What do you want to know?"


	3. Chapter 3: An Explanation

Chapter 3: An Explanation

"What do you want to know?"

Dean leaned against the tacky dresser that was inconveniently shoved against the back wall under a window. Sam furled his eyebrows together and used his fingers to squeeze the bridge of his nose together. I knew he was frustrated. He took a deep breath, sat down at the table with Castille. He put his hands together into one fist on the table and stared at them intently. Without looking up he shrugged his shoulders. A loss for words.

All I wanted to do at that moment was rush over, pull him into my arms and tell him that everything was okay. Everything would be okay. But his stiff demeanor and the present situation was telling me that any movement on my part could and would do more damage then good.

"Start from the beginning." Dean's voice boomed in the silence. The beginning was a good place to start... But which beginning? The beginning of my life? Or the beginning of my immortal life? My life with Sam? I decided the first would be best.

"I was born in 1537,' I was calm, my voice steady. The truth was all I was going to say. The facts. Let them judge me, though I prayed they wouldn't. I cleared my throat and began again, 'I was born in 1537. In England."

"1537?', Dean leaned toward me from his positions, trying to figure out is he heard me right. I nodded, 'That would make you.... 472?' Another shake of my head confirmed his math of my age. He blew out a whistle through his lips and gave a forced laugh. 'You're looking good for 472."

Again, I nodded and continued.

"Yes, I am 472. Physically, I'm 20-21... or so I seem. I never age. I've looked like this since..."

"So what are you? A demon? A witch? 'Cause after what you did to Sammy, seeing you alive, I'm pretty sure that you're a bitc..."

"Dean! That's enough!" Sam didn't even look up to shush his brother. He didn't take his eyes away from his fists when he told me to keep going. Something in his tone of voice told me that Dean wouldn't interrupt me again. The floor was mine.

"I'm not really any of those things. I mean, if you have to classify me, I guess I would say that I'm part demon. I know I'm the only one of my 'kind'. If I even have a kind.' I turned to sit on the corner of the bed closest to the door. 'There's no name for what I am. I can describe it, but there's no title." The looks of confusion I got told me I needed to be clearer.

"I was born in 1537. I was the daughter of a Lord and Lady in England. My mother died when I was a child and I was raised by my governess. I was raised to be a perfect courtier. Curtsy's, smiles, loyal, obedient.... It was all practice so that someday, I could be sold off in marriage someday.' I giggled. All three men in the room turned and looked at me. 'That was entirely the problem."

"I was 17 when my father decided I was old enough to be betrothed. He chose a rich noble from France. I had never met him or seen him, but my father claimed he was a perfect choice for me. Thanks to my governess and my.... wild tendencies, my father was convinced that I was not suitable to be a bride until I was 20. Thankfully, my betrothed had no problem with it. I was very thankful. I had 3 years to enjoy my freedom. I was lucky. Most fathers back then would have never done such a thing for their daughters."

"He arrived from France two years later. I was never told anything about him, and from my child stories, I expected a young and handsome noble man who'd be kind and love me as his wife. Instead, he was old. Older than my father. And he was fat.' I shivered, remembering the moment I first saw the duke. 'I was horrified."

"We took him to our estate. He stayed in rooms near ours, so my betrothed and I could get to know one another. Despite the location of our rooms, I never saw him. But I heard things about him from the gossip of the ladies at court. He had been married 6 times, all his wives had died. He had no heir and the rumor had it that he was rough with his wives. It was almost certain that he beat them on a regular basis. He smelled and ate poorly, but the worse thing about him was his behavior. He pinched me several times as well as my ladies. He touched himself in public and did not censor his conversation at all. I begged my father to not make me marry him. I begged him to chose another. He simply slapped me on the face and told me it was for the best."

"On one of my last days of freedom, I took a walk into the small shire near our estate. I loved the little village. It was nearly dusk, and the air was getting cool. I walked in the dark, trying to be invisible for the last time. I walked through town and into the church's graveyard. I sat at the bench below a willow tree, next to my mother's grave. I sobbed. I cried and cried and cried. I don't remember how long it was but it seemed like forever, like the tears would never stop.' As I spoke, a new tear escaped my eye. I wiped it away, remembering that night. 'Once I was nearly calm, the fog started around me. It was summer, so fog was rare. I dismissed it. Thinking it was nothing."

"As the mist circled around me, I got a little scared. I knew in this village I was safe, but here, in the dark, I wasn't certain. I forced myself to believe I was safe. I told myself that I was and after repeating it to myself, I began to believe it. I dried my eyes and was about to walk away when a small cracking noise came from behind me. I stopped, frozen like a statue. I knew someone was behind me. I don't know how but I just knew. I also had a feeling, that whoever it was, was about to change me forever...."


	4. Chapter 4: An Offer

Chapter 4: An Offer

"I was about to make a run for it when he stepped out from the darkness. He was tall, dressed simply, and moved slowly. There was nothing abnormal about him, but I was scared anyway. He took a step towards me, but I was too frozen to move.

"I am not going to heart you my love,' His voice was deep and rough, like sandpaper, but it had a softness to it, a bit of warm honey embedded in there too. 'Are you not the Lady Jessica? Daughter to Lord and Lady Moore?"

All I could do was nod my head. My hands were sweating, my palms moist. I held onto my skirt a hard as I could, doing anything to stop the shaking my body endured. I stood there in silence, listening to the crickets play their music as the man looked me up and down.

"What do you want, sir?" I asked him.

"Oh my sweet darling girl.' His tone slithered, snake like to my ears. 'I've watched you for sometime, my sweet. Your very beautiful. Very beautiful indeed." He circled around me, studying my reaction and admiring me. I could not move, I was still frozen to my place.

"I've also seen the man who is to be your future husband. A pretty girl like you.... you shouldn't have to marry such an old and decrepitude man. A pretty thing like you should have a handsome prince. A beauty like you should live on forever."

His words confused me. What he said was blasphemy, any good Christian would have known so.

"Lucky for you, I have a way out for you." I looked up immediately, staring at his back. With his words, my heart was filled with hope. Not marry the bastard my father stuck me with?

"If only it were possible." I whispered gently, hoping not to be heard.

"Oh...' The man gave a devilish chuckle. 'Oh sweet Jessica, it is.' He must have seen my face, looking oddly confused, despite the fact my eyes were solely focused on the dirt below my shoes. 'I can make it happen dear. I can make you engagement disappear, you along with it. I can keep you young and beautiful, I can make you live forever."

I suppose my sharp gasp told him I was intrigued. The first thought was yes, anything to make this disappear. But when I thought how he was able to do such a thing, I realized it was by magic. Magic of the devil. He must be a demon.

"Yes, my sweet, I am.' Was I that easy to read? Were my thoughts really that transparent? 'So what do you think Jessica, dear? What do you think about leaving this life and living forever.

I myself had yet to examine him, other than my first glance. His face was handsome enough. He looked older, around 40 or so. He looked normal, like any other man I had seen. But..."

"But... what?" Sam asked, his eyes intently burning into mine. I felt mine smolder under his stare.

"But... his eyes. His eyes were different. It was dark, but I could still tell they were off."

"What was so weird about his eyes?" Dean seemed amused by my lack of words. I closed my eyes and swallowed deeply. I then looked directly at both Sam and Dean and quietly answered.

"Yellow. His eyes.... they were yellow."

*** Hey guys! This is my first piece.... I'd really love some reviews! Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5: The Refusal

Hey Guys- I'd love some reviews! Please post them! I want to know what your looking for and what you hope to come out of this story..... I already know where I'm going with it but your input is very important! Please review.......

Chapter 5: The Refusal

"Yellow eyes?" Sam barely whispered the question. I could only nod.

"The yellow eyed demon?" Dean was almost shouting as he uncrossed his arms and started towards me. His body was tight with anger. Luckily, Castille noticed as well and he stood slowly, catching Dean's attention. I only nodded in response. It seemed my voice has disappeared all together.

"There is only one that I know of.... and yes, he is the one who killed your mother." Castille's voice was warm and soothing.

"Is? We killed that son of a bitch! We shot him with the Colt!' Dean was outraged, and I couldn't blame him. ' What do you mean 'is'? 'He grabbed Castille by the collar of his black coat and pulled him up to his face, making him look him dead in the eyes. ' He's dead!"

Sam also stood and went to Dean's side. He put his hands on Dean's shoulders and whispered something. Dean looked into his eyes and then released Castille. It took a few moments for everything to calm down, especially Dean. In those few moments, Castille had walked up behind me.

"All will be explained. Dean.... Sam... Please listen to the rest of Jessica's story. It will all make sense once it is done..... Please." Both Sam and Dean sat on the bed that was across from the one I had claimed as my seat. They both looked at their hands, until Dean looked up and gave me a look that told me I should start talking. IT was now or never, so I drew in a breath of strength and courage and began my tale.

"He had... yellow eyes. Once I saw them, I felt fear fill my body and bring it to life. I turn and ran as hard and as fast as I possibly could. I kept my dress around my calves and ran for my home. There was no sound coming from behind me, but I kept running through the village and onto the long dirt path along the creek that led to my father's castle.

Once the castle was in my sight, and the wooden doors visible, I stopped running. I walked along the creek that led up to the garden in our court yard. I listened carefully for voices or sounds around me. There was nothing, and when I turned around, there was no one there. I scanned the area behind me and saw nothing, no movement of any kind. I turned around to continue on my way when low and behold, he stood right in front of me.

I screamed and tried to move back, but he was much faster than me, and was behind me in that flash of a second, wrapping his hand around my mouth.

"Shhhhh.....' He giggled a little in his mouth and snuck one of his arms around my waist and kept the other tightly on my mouth. 'Oh little Jessica. My sweet girl, you should not have run from me. Don't ever run from me.' His mouth was right next to my ear, his breath hot and heavy on my neck. 'You will never be able to run from me. No matter where you go.... No matter what you do, I will find you. I will have you, Jessica. You'll be with me for eternity. One way or another, you'll be mine."

I continued to struggle against his grasp, fighting to be free. His words meant nothing to me but they instilled fear into my bones. Part of me wanted to believe that he was nothing more than a crazed old man. But his eyes...... they told me that what he said was truth. I tired to speak through his grasp, asking him a question. He must have realized what I was attempting because he stripped his hand from my mouth and moved it to my neck, pulling my body tight next to his.

"To live forever.... to suggest such a thing.... its blasphemy!' My voice was barely above a whisper, much like it is now. 'Why me? Why do you want me?"

"Your beautiful. Such a beautiful girl. And your spirit..... so free and good. Your perfect.... a replica of Helen of Troy. I should know, I was there." He chuckled, his nose entrapped in my hair, inhaling my scent.

"Are you a demon?"

"Oh Jessica..... yes my sweet. Yes, I am. And I can give you eternal beauty and immortality in exchange for your soul and your loyalties."

"No. Never." What he asked for, I could never give. I believed..... I still believe in God, and to give him my soul, my being, was something I could never do. I knew it was the right thing to do.

He sighed, and made a groan from deep in his throat.

"Oh dear. You disappoint my angel. You disappoint me greatly. You've misunderstood me,' His arms tightened around me, tighter than my corset. 'I WILL have you. Understand? YOU have no choice, Jessica. You are MINE."

With that, he kissed my neck and let me go. I ran straight for the castle, only looking back once to see him standing there, smiling in the dust I had kicked up while running. I didn't stop running until I was safe, locked in my bedchamber. Exhausted, I fell into a deep sleep that lasted for hours.


	6. Chapter 6: Death

Chapter 6: Death and Beyond

When I awoke the following morning, I could have sworn the night before had been a dream. The mud that caked my shoes ad the hem of my dress told me otherwise. I rinsed my face in the porcelain bowl. I stared upon the looking mirror, contemplating fate. Was he serious? Would he come for me? When? How could he force me to give up my soul unwillingly? Could he do so?

These questions plagued me for the next two days. Since there had been no sign of him, I assumed it was just a dream. Something I had conjured up in my nervous state. But it was the night before my wedding..... my last night as a girl and maid. I was dressed for bed, and was just finishing with braiding my hair when I heard my chamber door open and shut. I assumed it was just Katherine, my servant woman, bringing in my wedding gown for tomorrow. I paid no attention until two large and rough hands slithered around my neck. I jumped up, startled by touch. Once I was on my feet and had turned around, I realized what I had thought and prayed to be a figment of my imagination was a reality that I was looking straight in the face.

The reality smiled and reached out to tuck a piece of hair that had slipped out of my braid. I shuttered at how close he was near to me. I tried to take a step back, but I immediately collided into the vanity chair I had recently occupied.

"I told you, Jessica. I told you.... No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I would find you. I will have you, my love.' He took a step back and lifted his arms into the air and spun around slowly. 'And here I am." His grin scared me.

"I... I.... I don't want it. Whatever you want.... You won't have it." I tried to keep my voice from shaking.

"Oh I will,' He chuckled as his lizard eyes tore into my mine. 'Let me tell you how this works little Jessica. Let me open your eyes to the world you live in. The world you never knew existed. Sit down my dear, this could take some time." He gestured towards the bed, but I chose to sit in the old vanity instead.

"There are things out there Jessica. Things you could imagine exist. Here, in your perfect world, with your mother, father, betrothed, your humanity.... you think your safe. But....' He knelt down to the floor, achieving eye contact, his arm resting upon my knee. 'But, there are things out there.... Things that could make your greatest nightmares look like a playful fantasy land. There are things your mind could never imagine."

"Evil?"

"Beyond evil. Demons, witches, beasts, ghosts, spirits, death, and beyond. There is a Hell my sweet. And it is so very very real. I am very real."

"You.... You are a demon?" This time I could not hide the quiver that laced my voice.

"Yes,' He chuckled..... God I hate that laugh. 'Yes I am.... evil too if that was your next question."

"Whatever do you want with me? Where do I fit into this world?"

"Oh, you fit in alright. Let me tell you about me, my sweet." He stood up again and began to pace in front of me. I tried to look around, planning an escape, but there was no way I could with him standing before me. The entire house was asleep, but I doubted anyone would think to check up on me. As far as they were concerned, I was a young bride to be, sleeping peacefully to prepare for my nuptials in the morning.

"I am a demon, this much you know. But, I'm not the only demon out there. There are hundreds, thousands of us. All have different powers and different games, but the end plan is all the same; control Hell, control the world. Me? I'm very powerful man Jessica. My game is simple. I want to control it.' He pulled a chair up from the side of my bed and sat it directly across from me. 'See, there are special children in the world Jessica. Children with special... gifts. They don't know it yet but they have them. Some of these kids are useless. They may be gifted but they're not worthy. But, there are a few... every now and again, there are a few who stand out, who are truly special."

"Now, I take these kids, these rare truly gifted children and help them, assist them into becoming the powerful ones they can be. It takes years for their powers to develop. Some of these kids are limited by their....environments. That's where I require assistance. That's where I need you.' His smile was wide and sly, as though he knew something I didn't. 'I need spirited people, trustworthy people. loyal people to help me and serve me in making sure the gifted children reach their destiny."

"I seek out people like you Jessica. Kind, warm, trusting, and spirited, you are perfect for my cause. I need girls like you. All I require is that you stay as you are, trusting and sweet. I need you to befriend the gifted ones, keep an eye on them, make sure they have all they need to make the change into their power.' He scooted close to me, taking my small hands into his, leaning much closer. 'And in return, I can give you everything your heart has ever desired. Freedom. Hope. Love. Immortality. Eternal Beauty. Power. Forever." With each of these, he clenched my hands tighter, emphasizing each benefit. I swallowed deeply, my mouth and throat dry with nerves. I forced myself to speak.

"But... To do such a thing. It would require my soul, wouldn't it?" I barely whispered. I knew I was not willing to give up my eternal soul for immortality. If there was one thing I was sure of in my world, it was that God existed and to turn my back on him was to give up everything. The man before me smiled, gently stroking my hands, trying to sooth me in any manner he could.

"Yes. If you came willingly, you must give up your soul.' He pulled my hands up, raising me from my seat. 'But you don't need it Jessica! You can live without it! Imagine! To be able to do whatever you choose, whenever you wanted, with no fear of consequence. Everything, Jessica, everything and anything!"

"If I came willingly?" Those were the only words that mattered in his response.

"Yes. If you came willingly. All could be yours my sweet." His hand cradled my face, cupping my cheek, brushing his thumb across my cheek.

"But... don't you have others?" He thought carefully before speaking to me again.

"Yes... there'd be others.' His voice was slow, but he spoke faster with his next words. 'But you, Jessica, you'd be the only one. My favorite. My angel.' His hand again cupped my cheek, reassuring me of his adoration. 'You'd be the only one that would ever matter, the only one who would be perfect.' He got down on his knees before me, one hand along my face, the other on my knee. 'Be my angel, Jessica. Join me. Come freely. Become a demon, with me for eternity, and I shall grant your every wish and desire.... I promise."

Tears welled in my eyes. I knew my answer already; no. I could never do such a thing. I was afraid to tell him. I hated him, hated him for sitting before me. Hated him for asking me, for choosing me. But, he had said come 'willingly', so it seemed no matter my choice, I was destined to die. If this was so, I was determined to die with my soul intact.

I shook my head slowly, taking both of his hands in mine, grasping them tighter and tighter as I drew the strength to tell him my decision.

"No,' I whispered, only to get louder as I spoke. 'No. No. No. I cannot. I will not... Do with me what you will, but I will not go willingly."

"Is this your final answer?' His voice shook with rage. I nodded, looking him in the eyes, letting him know my decision would not and could not change. His grasp on my hands was tighter then mine ever could have been, squeezing so tight I lost feeling in them. 'Very well."

He stood and walked away from me. All I could see was his back as he headed to the door. Thinking he was leaving, I looked upon my vanity for anything that could assist me in escaping from him. What was used in killing a demon? What could I use to weaken him? I found a pair of sharp shears, new from market. I took them safely in my hand and tucked them under the folds of my skirt, trying to hide my weapon.

I was concentrated, completely focused on the task at hand. Stab him then run for it. It was the only thing I could do to save myself. At least for a moment. I looked up the moment I heard the lock on my door shut itself into place. He locked me in, with no other way out.

I must have looked scared because he smiled as he walked towards me. His swagger was jolly and cocky, he knew what was coming and enjoyed the fact that I didn't. My breathing became short and shallow as I tried to muster up every ounce of bravery I had.

"Well my sweet, this is it. The end of the line. In a quick moment, you'll be mine forever. It may hurt just an excruciatingly bit, but hey, I can't say you'll survive because you won't my dear. At least not in this lifetime.' He grinned walking toward me. I waited for the perfect moment to strike. 'Now, let's get this over with shall we, sweet Jessica...."

He was right before me, so I lunged, plunging the shears I had deep into his chest. He gave a short yell, bringing his hands to his chest. The pain and anguish upon his face was missed by me because the moment I felt the shears hit the tightness of his muscles, I ran.

I unlocked the door and ran. Down the corridor, descending the stairs, just looking for a safe place to hide. Where could I go that he wouldn't find me? I remembered a sermon the father had spoken in mass the other day, saying no creature of Hell could ever enter the sanctity and holiness of the church. So I ran to the chapel in our estate, hoping a chapel had just as much power and holiness as a true church.

Once inside the stone, dark room, I hid myself behind the large alter. My breath was ragged; I could scarcely inhale. But I did my best to keep it quiet. I prayed to God in that moment to save me. I prayed with every fiber of my being, hoping my plea would not go wanting.

In the midst of my prayers, the large wooden doors burst open and slammed against the stone walls, sending a current of vibration through the small sanctuary.

"Jessica? Oh sweet Jessica? Come out.... Come out." His voice was creepy, eerily happy with delight. It frightened me to death. My bones shivered, knowing that this was close to the end. I still prayed to God for a miracle, bargaining in my head to be eternally his, doing whatever I was told (including marrying my betrothed), being perfectly obedient. I was so focused on my prayer, I heard nothing around me.

"Hello my sweet.' I looked up to see him crouching on the alter, peering down at me. I jumped up instantly, fighting to get away, but he was too fast. His hand reached out and snagged my braid, yanking me back to him. He pulled me tight against his chest, leaving no room between his body and mine. I began to cry, tears streamed down my face. 'Don't cry girl, I know you're scared now, but in a few painful moments, you'll regret ever running from me."

I closed my eyes and waited for death, welcoming it just to release the cowardice I felt. My body shook, but it stopped instantly when a sharp pain seared through my middle. I looked down to see a blade, unsheathed and protruding from my stomach. The pain settled in the moment I saw it. It was like nothing I've ever felt before. Pain beyond my wildest dreams. I could feel my warm blood seep put of my wound, pouring into a crimson puddle at my feet.

As much as it hurt to be the sheath of this blade, the pain only increased when he ripped it out of me. I tried to scream, but no sound came out. He let go of his grasp on me and I slumped to the floor on my knees. The world was getting darker and I was cold. Ice replaced the escaped blood in my veins and I could feel the life being sucked right out of me. The demon began some form of a chant behind me, but I no longer cared.

Without any warning, a bright light appeared before. It glowed like the sun, and my eyes hurt to see into it. All I could make out was the figure of a man. Nothing could register in my head. I could hear nothing as he spoke nor the conversation the two were having. All I could focus on was the pain, and knowing nothing could save me now. This was the end.


	7. Chapter 7: Repercussions of Fate

Chapter 7: Repercussions of Fate

I sat quietly, waiting for Sam and Dean to digest all the facts that I had told them. Castille and I looked at each other, waiting for the news to settle. Once I looked away, he turned away and walked towards the window, his hands in his pockets. I turned my attention to the brothers, both of whom were looking at each other, having an intense conversation with their eyes. After a moment, they both turned to look at me, questions in their stare.

"So.... You're dead?" Dean's voice was as sarcastic as ever.

"Yes... technically. I mean, 'I died' but, my heart still beats."

"Then how did you become.... this?" Sam's voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke to me. He wouldn't look at me, my Sam. I didn't expect him to look at me. How could he? After all I had done.... all the lies I had told.... how could I expect him to forgive me? The truth was already out. The best thing I could do was explain my side and hope that would be enough.

I looked to Castille, hoping he could answer that one for me, I was too tongue tied to answer it myself. I needed a moment, a moment to clear my head. I stood up and walked outside, opening and closing the door with care. I stood right next to the window where I was certain to hear Castille's response. After all, this was his part of my story to tell.

"Jessica died that night, Sam.' He took a pause, and I could tell he was searching for the right words to explain this. 'That bright light Jessica was talking about? The one she saw just before she passed? That was me."

"You?" Castille just nodded his head from Dean's question. I could sense the skepticism in his voice. Making them believe this was going to be much harder than I thought it would.

"I heard Jessica in pain, saw the demon attack her from heaven. I came down, hoping to save her, but by the time I got there, it was too late. I scared him off, the yellow eyed demon. He fled, leaving Jessica there. When I walked over to her body, all I could tell was that she was dead. But..."

"But what?" Sam's voice was deep and rough. Anger was vibrating from his silhouette.

"I saw the dagger that was still wedged into her. It wasn't a typical knife, Sam. It was a cursed dagger... One of those rare mystical ones that I knew the yellow eyed demon had."

"What does it do?"

"It keeps the victim alive, immortal but alive. He uses it to turn all his minions, but because all his previous victims had gone willingly into his service, I had no clue what it would do a victim like Jessica. One who had resisted the magic. I thought.... I thought she was just dead, normal dead. I thought you had to have sold your soul to the yellow eyed demon to change, but I guess I was wrong."

"When I pulled the dagger from her body, she woke up, gasping for air. Her wound closed up and she was good as new again. I expected her to be evil, just like the rest of them, but she wasn't. When she looked me in the eyes, tears welling in hers, I could still see her soul. She never lost it.' He looked down at Sam. 'She's the same person she was when she was alive all those years ago. She hasn't changed. The only difference now is that she is a slave to the demon."

"So, she's like, the demons bitch?" Leave it to Dean to crack the wiseass joke. Castille just nodded, not the slightest bit amused by Dean's remark.

I had had enough air. My longs were clear, as was my head. I turned and walked back into the room, hoping to add more clarity to the situation.

"What you're saying is.... is that Jessica has to do whatever he says?"

"Yes.' I answered calmly. 'I have to. I have no choice."

"Why?" Sam's tone had turned raspy, showing me how upset he was. I could see he was on the verge of tears, but as much as I wanted to hold him, comfort him, I couldn't.

"He owns me. I am his."

"But why?"

That's when I looked Sam straight in the eyes for the first time. I made sure to make perfect eye contact, not blinking or breaking away for the slightest bit.

"Because. He owns my mortality, and I'm working to get it back.


	8. Chapter 8: Giving In

Chapter 8: Giving In

"Working? Working.... how?" Sam had gotten quiet but he still talked with perfect clarity. He had stood by now, and though he was on the other side of the room from me, I could still feel his concern for me, his eyes bearing into me.... I could still feel him. Sam has always had this need to protect me, shelter me, take care of me. At Stanford, it was cute, romantic, and I didn't mind in the slightest. And even now I could still see that need within him, but it was losing a bloody battle with his disgust for my lies.

"I do things for him.' I scooted to the bed and sat at the far corner of it, my back near the door. Castille took a seat at the table, waiting for me to continue. Both of the brothers were standing, Dean against the wall behind the table, and Sam on the far wall, with two beds separating us. I looked down at my hands just to avoid their stare. 'It's simple really. I do what he says. Eventually he'll give me back the right to my soul and my mortality, and I'l finish my life right where it ended."

"So.... you can become human." Dean, always asking the obvious questions.

"Again."

"Again..." How could this answer puzzle him? But I couldn't worry about Dean's reaction. I wanted Sam to see that it was still possible for him to love me. That there was still hope for us. God, I needed him more now than ever before.

As I looked at him, I felt deathly urge to hug him fiercely. To wrap myself up in those protective arms and never leave them again. I knew it was going to take a long time, maybe even years, for him to even be able to hug me. But, I swore to myself, that I would be in those arms again, even if it took a lifetime.

"Jessica. Maybe an explanation of the type of work that was requested of you would help Sam and Dean understand better." Castille pulled me out of my fantasy of Sam. I knew he was right. As much as I would have loved to bury the horrible things I had witnessed and participated in, they needed to know.

"Well, at first I had some trouble.' I started, ready to divulge in the rest of my story. 'Once I was awake, Castille helped me up and got me to a safe place. It was a little cottage on the edge of my estate. My body was... I was going through a change. I mean, I don't look different, but I could feel my insides tighten, becoming harder, invulnerable. I was so weak. I stayed in a bed for 3 days before I could properly stand on my own."

"On the fourth day, I woke, feeling like my old self. I begged Castille to take me home, to let me go back. I was feeling perfectly fine. Nothing about me had changed drastically. All I wanted to do was go home and see my family. When Castille told me I could never go home, I panicked. I tore out the cottage door and ran as fast as I could to my home. I had to run past the cemetery in order to get to my home. I ran through the forest trees that lines the meadow where the cemetery was. I was unseen, covered by the dark trees that protected me as I ran. But once I was near the cemetery I had to stop. There was a funeral taking place in the cemetery. I was shocked at first, trying to figure out who had died... and that's when I saw it."

"It was my father.... and he was crying. There were a group of people surrounding him, but I could pick him out of even the largest of crowds. He was tall and always wore the world's ugliest hat.' I had to let out a giggle. Castille laughed as well, and I knew he remembered it just as well as I did. 'Even for the times, it was an ugly hat.... But he was crying, and I could never remember ever seeing him cry. I tried to walk forward, but then my eyes caught the sight of something else."

"There was a wake table.' Sam and Dean looked at me with puzzling glares. 'It was a tradition in my shire. Before you buried the dead, you had them laid above upon a coffin so their loved ones can say goodbye.' I took another breath. I hated this memory.

'On top of the wake table, there was a girl. She was dressed in white. There were flowers in her hair, and she looked paler than the gown she wore. When I looked closer, I saw that it was me. I didn't know how or if it was possible, but that was me, my body. It was like the scene from Hamlet. The scene where Ophelia is brought out from where she drowned, where Hamlet and Laertes mourn her death. That was me. I was laying there, with people I had known my entire life, surrounding my fake corpse. They were crying, and standing there in the shadows of the forest, watching the funeral progress.' The memory shock me hard, leaving me a little out of sorts, not knowing what exactly to say. Thank God for Castille. He was there, he could finish the story.

"That's when I showed up,' He took over the story with a calmness I didn't seem to possess. 'Jessica.... tried to go to the funeral, I think to prove that it was a lie, but I stopped her. The body was a decoy. We couldn't allow Jessica to return to her family.... She would never age and that would be odd, to say in the least, when she never aged. We couldn't have it."

"I had to pull her away,' That was putting it lightly. 'She fought against my grasp, but I couldn't let her be seen. I dragged her away, into the forest and back to the cottage. I needed to explain things to her.' He turned to me and smiled grimly. 'I had to explain that your life, the life that you knew was over."

Castille stood and dusted off his coat. He nodded to me and I did so back. He walked to the door and was about to open it.

"What the...? Where the hell are you going?" Dean was tense, and with good reason.

"Out. I need to communicate with the others, see what our next steps are." That was all that was needed to be said. He left and shut the door, leaving Sam, Dean, and I in a awkward silence. I don't know how long we sat there, but I knew I had to finish what I started.

"Jess...' Sam could barely whisper my name. Oh, but to hear him say it! No matter how much pain it caused to hear it only whispered, I was so glad to hear it escape his lips. 'What happened... How did you get here?"

"Well, once Castille brought me back to the cabin in the woods, and explained to me what I had become, I was lost. I didn't know what to do. Castille told me I would have to go to him, the demon who made me. Though, I fortunately still had my conscience and was no his actual possession, it was my duty to serve him. I tried to fight against it, the idea of serving him broke my heart.' I felt my eyes well, tears forming at my eyes. I snuffed them back and kept them in. 'But there was a pull, a forceful tug that coursed through me. Castille, he explained that such feeling was the demon's influence on me.... that I would always be drawn to him. He would pull me to him, whenever he wanted, and I would have no choice but to respond to his call. I tried to fight it, but I couldn't' A sob forced itself from my chest. The tears flew freely down my face. I no longer had control of my emotions. 'I had no control of anything anymore."

I slowly wiped away the tears, suppressing the good cry I needed to have. I hated crying. Sam knew that. So, to cry in front of them, Dean and Sam, would be humiliating. Dean was already looking away as the tears rolled down my face, but Sam stared at me. I hoped my tears reminded him of my humanity, but I knew it might be too much to hope for.

"When I first went to him, the demon, it was the worst day of my life. It was a large castle, just miles from our cabin. I had lived in the shire my entire life, I had never seen nor heard of this castle. He smiled when I walked into the front room. He stared me up and down. I felt naked, though I wore a full gown. He took my hand and kissed it. He then began speaking, but I barely remember it. His words scalded my ears, burning them deaf. But, I did understand what he expected from me. I remember those words."

"Oh Lady Jessica, you have no choice but to do my will. Even if it goes against your conscience you will do it. But, my dear, I know your soul remains intact. So, I swear to you, I shall never force you to kill. Your duty is this, my sweet.' He grasped my right hand, holding my waist in his other. He led me to another chamber, one that had a large table and chairs. He sat me at one, then began to pace about the room. 'I have plans, my Lady. Great plans. But I need help in doing this."

"I have chosen ones all around the world. Some are living now, and some.... some have yet to be born. But, these chosen few, they all show potential. Of these, there are a small handful that hold immense talent and skill, beyond even your imagination. They have been hand chosen by me, and their growth is most important to me. I need you to watch the handful, make sure they develop into fine soldiers. Make sure their powers are full and useful."

He knelt down to my feet, his hands grasped mine in my lap. He looked into my eyes and spoke with such a deliberant force.

"I want you to be the one to watch them, guide them, look over them. A shepard to my flock.' His fingers caressed my cheek, and it took all my strength not to pull away. 'Your gentle nature. Your kindness. Your beauty.... Your spirit. God, it is perfect for my cause! You shall befriend them, my special chosen ones, take them into your confidence. Woe them with your charms. Gain their trust and make sure they confide in you, my sweet. You will report to me. This way I will know who are my special ones and those who are.... simply above average."

His smile was evil. I nodded my head, relieved to know I would never kill. He said nothing about remaining in God's good graces. I could still pray and devote myself to the Lord. I swore to keep my soul pure and intact, for God and myself.

I swore I would get out of this. I would free myself from his grasp. I didn't even need to help him... I could warn them. His "chosen ones". I would tell them of his plans, make them aware of what was happening. My plans must have been plain on my face, since his next words addressed them.

"You, of course, will be forbidden to speak of your... duties. No one shall ever know of your allegiance to me.' He straightened up, and pulled me up with him. He smiled and held my face delicately in his hands. 'Don't ever fight me, my dear. This is your life now. You belong to me. You are mine.' He grasped my face harder with one hand, turned me around so my back was to him, and wrapped the other tightly around my waist, pulling me closer to him then I had been with any other person. It was painful, but the harder I tried to squirm away, the tighter his grasp became. His breath was hot on my cheek, and I could feel his fingers roam about my body. 'It would be best, my dear Jessica, to give yourself to me.... body, mind, and soul. Then none of this would happen."

"I want you my dear. I want you as my queen, my companion, my prize. Give yourself to me freely, and I swear you will never have to work for me. Your soul is what makes you disapprove of me. Be my bride, give yourself to me, relinquish your soul into my hands, and all this.... can be yours. A queen. My queen."

"A queen of the damned.' I broke from his grasp and faced him a few steps back. 'I will do as you say. I will watch these children. But I will never hurt them. Ever. And I will never give myself to you. I will win my freedom back. You can count on that." There was such a ferocity in my voice, I almost didn't recognize myself. I kept my faces serious, made of stone. But he just smiled.

"Giving in.... it's hard my dear. Take a century, or two. You'll be coming back to me, begging me to have you.' He walked past me, stopping a quarter inch from my face. He had a scroll in hand, one he picked up off the table. He slid it into my grasp and spoke whispering words. 'And I will have you my sweet. I always get my way in the end. Always."

He took off down the hall. I felt defeat and anger, knowing there was nothing I would be able to do to escape his plan. He turned suddenly and told me the scroll held my first assignment.

"I'll come see you soon my sweet. When I need a report I'll visit... so expect one soon."

I stood in the blackness of the castle. The candles barely gave off light. I walked to the front entry and walked outside. The moon shone brightly over head, and I used it to read my first assignment.

His name was Michael de'Clour, a son in France. I walked defiantly toward my destiny. Promising that I would do everything in my power to stop whatever the demon's plans were, even if I had to do it one assignment at a time.


	9. Chapter 9: Invisible Death

Chapter: 9: Invisible Death

"When I got to France, I sought out the boy, Michael de'Clour. He was a merchants son, living in a small town off the coast in the south of France. He was 3 when I got there, barely able to walk around his fathers store. He was as cute.... well as cute as a button. Red locks, brown eyes, he was a sweetheart. I couldn't believe that the demon would want such a precious child. That this, sweet dear, could ever be an evil man. So, I rented a small cottage on the outskirts of town. I watched and I waited, looking for any signs that he possessed powers of any sort."

"Years went by and little Michael grew up. Every year that he got older, I stayed the same. It didn't matter how many years passed, I never aged a day. I looked exactly as I do now. It got harder and harder for me to go out in public. After a while, I was afraid people would start to notice that I never aged. So, I withdrew from the public, had my groceries delivered to me by a town boy."

"All the while, I watched him, Michael, grow up. I watched him learn to walk, to talk, to grow from a little boy to a teenager. A young and rebellious guy. He caused all sorts of mischief and ruckuses around the village. And, as he grew older, I watched him fall in love. I watched him love her, propose to her, marry her."

"It wasn't until he had been married for a few years that he started to show signs of powers. Just little bits here and there. He was able to move things with his hands. It took nearly thirty one years, but he finally began to show what I had tried so hard to hope he wouldn't. After hearing about his gift, it only took a week for me to witness it for myself. It was a week after seeing it for myself that the demon made an appearance in the small town."

"He came at midnight, on a Sunday evening. I can recall it with perfect clarity. It was the Lord's day, and I was kneeling before my makeshift alter above my fireplace, praying to God. He just appeared out of no where. I would say he caught me completely off guard, but I felt his presence near me. I didn't even bother to turn around. Instead, I grimaced, and crossed myself, ending my prayer. I didn't even rise to turn to face him until he spoke my name, using that eery velvety voice of his.

"Jessica.' When I turned to him, he was sitting at the wooden chair at my table. He sat, completely calm, as if he owned the place. With both his legs square on the ground, one arm slung over the back of the seat, and the other resting on the edge of table, his smirk only added to this perfect picture of smugness. 'How lovely it is to see your beautiful face once again, my sweet. You are the picture of loveliness."

His words slithered like a serpent out of his mouth. They meant nothing. I knew I looked a fright. I was wearing a wool cream frock, one that cut off at my elbows. It was laced in front, but because it was thin and meant to be worn on hot days when I was alone. I felt exposed, yet thankful I had remembered to put on an apron slip that covered the majority of my core body. At least the brown wool gave me back some of my modesty.

"He has power. I've seen it myself.' I wanted to get this visit over with as soon as possible. 'I've done my part. Now, if you will excuse me, I have supper to make."

"Hold on now my pet,' He simply laughed and stood, taking my hands into his course ones. 'Now, my child, business can wait...."

"No. No it cannot.' Turning from him, I knew I wanted him gone as soon as possible. 'We shall deal with business and be done with this." I faked the confidence in my voice, hoping he would do as I demanded.

He bowed curtly at the waist, extending his arms out, like an eagle.

"As you wish, my dear one.' He stood up, and gestured with his hands for me to sit. I took my place at the head of the table. 'Now, how is dear Michael?"

"He is well. I have seen him use his gifts. He has an ability to move things without touching them. A telekinesis sort of thing. He is happy, content, married now too. He's become a good man."

"And his powers? Is it only the telekinesis gift? Or has he other powers as well?"

"None that I know of." My comment made him think for a moment. His finger brushed against his upper lip as he sat, clearly contemplating a decision he had to make.

"Hmmmm.... well, it has taken him too many years to develop his gift. And to have only one..... well that is a disappointment.' He sighed a heavy breath, then nodded his head once, making his final choice with it. 'Well, another failed one.' He got up to leave. I still sat, my mouth open in awe. Before he could even voice it, I knew what his next words would be. 'Another one failed.... He shall have to die."

He must have seen the anguish, the torment on my face, because he used his next words in an attempt to calm me.

"Oh no my dear girl, I won't make you do it. I did promise you life without sin.' He turned to walk towards the door. 'I'll do it.' He tipped his head to replace a formal bow. 'I will let you know of your next assignment, my pet."

He was gone before I could even respond to him. I knew he would go to Michael's home, do what he had promised to do. I set out, running as fast as my legs could carry me, running to his home. He couldn't kill Michael! He wouldn't! He had done nothing wrong! How could this... demon kill him for doing nothing but existing?

I pumped my legs as hard and as fast as I could, running with every fiber of my being. I heard a scream just as I turned the bend onto the property of Michael and his family. The second scream came just as I reached the porch of their small cottage. I threw open the door with all my strength and ran inside. I was just in time to see the demon finish off Michael's wife. Her blood was pooling at floor, right before the fire place. Michael was against the wall, set in the same position Jesus took when enduring his crucifixion. He was screaming, tears running down his face, calling to his wife as if she were still alive.

I stood there, shocked by the seen. I didn't know what to do. It was like I had grown roots that dug into the wooden planks of the cottage floor. The yellow eyed demon turned to look at me. He cocked his head up, and gave me the slowest and most evil grin I have ever received. And, while embedding his yellow eyes in mine, he swiped his hand across his body, slashing Michael's throat without getting a drop of blood near him.

I stared at him in horror. He smiled again and laughed. I was still entrapped by the scene when he walked past me. He stood behind me and whispered into my ear.

"Your next assignment.' I was so dazed, it didn't even phase me he had slipped a piece of parchment into the collar of my dress. 'I'll be seeing you soon, my pet."

With that he walked away, leaving the bloody mess before me. I don't know how long I stood there, but it felt like hours when I finally dropped to my knees and sobbed. All I could think of was that if this was how my life was to be for the next thousand years, I'd rather damn my self to hell.


	10. Chapter 10: Coming Full Circle

Chapter 10: Coming Full Circle

Damning myself to hell. It had been a constant thought on my mind for the past couple hundred years. It seems almost like a better idea to just damn myself to hell then survive another couple hundred years as the demon's slave. Castille has told me a thousand times that if I can get my freedom, my mortality back, I can continue my life the way it was. But, after working for so long and so hard to gain this, I'm just beginning to doubt that it will ever happen.

I looked up and gave a tight smile to both Sam and Dean. They both looked at me with an expression of awe on their faces. Sam's especially told me I needed to continue, continue in order to understand.

"What.... What happened next?"Sam's voice was quiet but tight, as though he was restraining some thought. I took yet another deep breath and began to finish the lengthy story I had begun to tell.

"It continued like this. For years and years, centuries upon centuries. It went on like this. Me, watching these kids from a distance, seeing their watching them develop into adults, seeing them fail the demon's expectations and dying at his hand. It took me a while, but after a couple of my assignments, I learned how to fight. I learned self defense, and how to use a weapon. Combat training, spells, magic, you name it, I learned it."

"I traveled everywhere, seeing everything. With each new assignment came a new place, a new world to discover. It was my one pleasure in this Hell I was banished to. I think... I think the demon liked seeing my face give a little positive emotion. Once the Americas were discovered, I made my way to the colonies and have been here ever since.' I had to giggle at the sound of my own voice. They looked at me questioningly, trying to discover my reason for laughter. 'It's been so long since I've heard my own voice. I mean, I've been here, for so long, pretending to fit in, for so long, my voice..... it's lost it's accent. I can't tell you how weird that is." My giggling was incessant. How had it been centuries without me even noticing it?

"So, there is where I have been. Watching people, kids with gifts. It's been simple, boring for the most part. Until...." I bit my lip and adjusted myself on the bed. Sam and Dean sat across form me, waiting for me to continue. I blushed, unsure of how to continue my merry little story.

"Until what?" Dean just seemed edgy. I suppose, from what Sam told me, this was a really typical attitude for him.

But, I didn't know how exactly to answer that question. I could feel a deep blush spread across my face and as I looked down to exam the seam that held my jeans in place. I knew Sam was gazing at me, looking at me, trying to read me. He used to be able to do that, just look at me and know what was going on in my head. I missed that. Thinking of this only made me blush more. When I looked up, into his eyes, I could tell he was thinking it too. So, I stared deep into his eyes, and told him the absolute truth.

"Until I met you, Sam.' My voice didn't waver and I continued to stare him in the eyes, for several seconds after I should have broken it. The eye contact didn't stop until Dean gave a short whistle, drawing us back to the real world. The embarrassment only added to the blush. 'Meeting you Sam, it changed my eternity."

"The demon... he came to me, right before your freshmen year. He told me that you were special, more so than any of the other kids I had been sent to watch. You meant more to him, and I could see that you... you were important to him. He said that because I had a soul and was good, I was better at watching the real potential kids, rather than just babysitting the wannabes. He got me enrolled at Stanford with you, and he made sure that our dorms were directly across the hall from one another. All he asked was that I befriend you. He didn't say to get close, but just to make sure we knew each other and stuff. It felt like just any other job to me. So, I went into it just like I would any other time, but.... when I met you, it changed everything."

I stood, and walked to the window. I positioned myself so that my back was leaning against the wall, and I was staring out the window to my right. my hands were right before my stomach, my fingers twirling around each other. I didn't know how to explain this part to him. This was the part I had been afraid to share. It was the biggest betrayal of all, and I was afraid that Sam could never and would never forgive me for such a lie.

"Sam, I.... the day I met you, my life changed.' I looked down, staring at my fingers, remembering the day I met the love of my life. I smiled a little. 'Do you remember the first time I met you? I came out of my room the same time you did. I can remember shutting my door, and looking up and seeing you. I just remember thinking you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. You looked up with me, while I stood there staring at you, and smiled. It was... the most perfect moment in my life."

"Yea,' Sam smiled a little, and I knew he was recalling the memory himself. As the warm color in his eyes began to glow, I recognized the Sam I loved from so long ago. 'Yea, I remember".

"You smiled and you were about to say something when Ryan came out. I can still see him wearing that ridiculous zombie costume on Halloween. Do you remember?' I giggled for a moment, and continued to do so when I saw the corners of Sam's mouth turn up as well. 'Anyway, I can still see you sitting and starring at me as Ryan flirted on and on. You looked so, pissed off. I didn't say a thing, but you just stared at me, and I kept looking back at you. I swear...."

"Okay okay... back up.' Dean interrupted me with a huge step forward, fed up with our talk. 'If you're going to get into this lovey-dovey crap, I'm getting the hell our of here.' He put his coat on and turned to leave through the motel door. 'Just give me the cliff-notes version when I get back, 'k Sammy boy?" He smacked Sam on the shoulder and left, the Impala keys in hand.

We sat in silence after he left. Unsure of what to say maybe, or perhaps he was taking the time to think about the memories that were long behind us. Thats what I was doing.

"I remember... you were wearing that white tank top and jeans.' Sam smiled, looking down at his hands as I stared at him. He smiled down, recalling the memory fondly, or so I could only hope. 'You looked, so... so... sexy." With that, we both laughed out loud. We had recalled that memory so many times during our relationship. It was just ironic to mention it now. I was giggling so hard, I had to sit on the window sill, turning to face him now since I could no longer laugh and stay standing.

"Ryan just kept talking and talking and talking,' I managed to giggle about it. 'You just rolled your eyes. And when you left with Ryan, after he was done rambling on, you gave me the sweetest smile.' He gave a small smile, still gazing down. 'Just like that one." I added that last part on rather quietly.

His eyes looked up at me, and that beautiful smile, the one I loved so dearly, slowly disappeared away from his face. We just gazed at each other. I longed for him, craving to have him wrapt in my arms, with my head tucked beneath his chin. Though the distance between us was only a few feet, it felt like miles. We'd come so far from where we used to be. I'd only been back for a few moments in his life, and already I needed him.

Sam cleared his throat, pulling us both out of our minds.

"You were, ah.. you were saying?' His voice was quiet and wavered a bit. 'I mean, I mean before... that."

"Oh.' I cleared my throat. 'I was just saying..."

The door opened up just then. Castille walked in, as did Dean. I guess we had been talking for a lot longer than I had originally thought. I managed a tight smile, as did Sam. Dean gave us a look of disapproval. I had a feeling Castille had caught him on his way out. I thought I had heard voices outside, so I guess it must have been those two. I summoned the courage to say what I had intended to say before Castille and Dean walked in.

"Sam...,' My voice wavered and I knew I would turn red at what I was about to say next. 'You were supposed to be just another assignment. But I.... I couldn't. I stopped seeing you as an assignment and started seeing you as... well you."

"I feel in love with you, Sam.' My eyes stared to tear up. I held the water back, but the more I thought about how much I love Sam. I couldn't help but cry a little. I couldn't help but allow a few tears to slide down my already red cheeks. 'I was only supposed to be your friend, someone you knew and would talk to every once in a while. But, I couldn't help it. I have lived for hundreds and hundreds of years, and I never once felt the way I did... do about you. I couldn't help it. And once I figured out that you felt the same, after a few dates, after a few months of our relationship, I.... I abandoned my mission, and just decided to be happy for the first time in my life."

I laughed a bit, thinking how silly, how girly I was being. I stood, hugging my stomach. I paced about, still holding myself. I refused to look any of the men in my company in the eye, fearing what I might see in them, as well as to try to spare myself the humiliation of baring out my soul before them.

"For the first time in all my life, I fell in love, and Sam, I don't regret it at all. I cherish every memory, every day, every moment I spent with you.' I stood before him, taking his hands in mine. I dared to touch him, bending down to my knees before him. 'I lied to you, but in truth, I never once remembered my duty to him before he came back.' I began to sob, and he held my hands as tightly as I held his. I could see the tears shining in his eyes. My heart was pounding rapidly. 'Sam, I loved you, I still love you."

"We had the most amazing 4 years together, Sam.' My tears fell quickly, as did Sam's. 'When... when he came back to me, he was jealous. He was angry and mean. He told me, he told me I had failed him, and that he would hold onto my mortality for forever. It was, the worst night of my life.


	11. Chapter 11: The Changing of Everything

Chapter 11: The Night That Changed Everything

"We celebrated Halloween. Then Dean showed up, remember? Once you left with him, I went on with things as they normally would. I saw Amy and did my painting.' Being an art major at Stanford was one of the first things I ever did for myself. I know for a fact that the only two things in life that could ever make me happy were Sam and art. 'You were only gone for two nights. Friday and Saturday went just fine, and I knew you were going to becoming home late Sunday."

I had to stop and take a deep breath. The events of what happened that night were still ingrained in my memories as if it had happened yesterday. I was still sitting between Sam's knees, his hands still entangled in mine. I loosened my grip that was held his, giving him the chance to let go should he choose to. He didn't; in fact, he held on even tighter. The look I saw in his eyes, well, it gave me hope. Hope that Sam could forgive me. I just prayed that the truth in my voice would breath through into him. 'Sunday night... that night, I... I."

I felt lost. I didn't know how to continue. I felt a touch on my shoulder, and I turned to see Castille standing above me. He took one of my hands from Sam, pulling me up. The tears I had thought were dry fell back down my face. Thank God Castille understood the trauma I had gone through that night. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a half embrace. His warmth and compassion had always made me feel safe, and I was thankful for his comfort once again.

Castille began to explain what had happened that night, but I interrupted him with a shrug. This was my story to tell. I needed Sam to hear the truth from my lips. I needed him to know. I tried my tears, praying that these were going to be the last ones to fall from my eyes tonight. I took a deep breath and finished what I had started from under the shelter of Castille's wing.

"You called and said you were on your way. I made cookies. Chocolate chip, your favorite, for when you came home. I had just taken out the last batch when I realized how late it was. I went into the bathroom and drew a bath. I had just turned the water on when I felt his presence behind me."

"Jessica,' He whispered. A tremor ran through my body. I turned to face him, looking at the man who had cursed me for all of eternity. I didn't say anything. I simply stood their and stared, transferring all the hate I felt for him into my eyes. He laughed and took a step towards me. I retreated, backing up into the wall, trapping myself for him. 'Oh my sweet darling girl. You're in trouble now."

His hands formed handcuffs over my wrists. I wasn't scared, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. But... but I was afraid that you might walk in the door any moment, Sam. and if he saw you... I thought he would kill you just like he had all the others. He pulled me towards him, so my body connected with his. And then, with his strength, he threw me back against the wall. Before I could recover, his hand clasped my throat, holding me above the ground.

"Now, now Jessica. You think I haven't been able to see what you've been doing? You think I don't know? You think I'm stupid?' His voice was tight with rage and he scared me, more so than ever before. I struggled against his grip, fighting to be free from his tight grasp. My struggles only seemed to enrage him further. 'Are you trying to make me jealous? Answer me!"

He was screaming at me know. He let my throat go and dropped me to the floor. I shrunk to the floor. He crouched down beside me and took my chin and lower cheeks tightly into his hand, grabbing at me.

"I have given you eternal life! And this is how you repay me? By fucking your charge?' He slapped me clear across the face and the echo spun around the room. My face stung but I still chose not to answer him. He took my chin in his face again, but this time he touch was more gentle. Firm, but gentle. With his other hand he smoothed my hair. 'Jessica. Why? Have I not been kind? Have I not been patient? I have waited and waited, centuries for you to finally realize what a gift I have bestowed upon you. I have waited for you. I have given you everything you could have ever ask for."

"I never asked for it." My voice was barely a whisper, but I knew he heard me. A second slap filled the room but I barely felt it this time. He stood and picked me up with him. One arm was wrapped around my throat and the other held my wrist. I wasn't pinned against anything, but his grip simply held me in place. I couldn't move. The silence between us was deafening. The only noise came from the shower that still ran with water. After a moment he let me go. I backed away and walked to the sink. He stood where he was, staring at me. When I had gathered my courage and strength, I turned to him, furious with every bone in my body.

"I never wanted it. I never asked it. You killed me. You took away my freedom, my life, my mortality. You never gave me a choice in any of it! The only thing I ever had a say in was in rejecting you. And I did. I do.' My anger was boiling, the scalding water overflowing from the years and years of torture I had endured. Heated tears formed in my eyes and I shook with rage. I suppose my anger knew no bounds. And for the first time in my life, all the centuries of it, I allowed it to come out. 'I hate you. I loathe you. Words can't express the loathing I have for you. I told you I would never love you, never accept you. I meant it."

"You were meant to watch Sam! Not fuck him!" I could see his anger equally matched mine. He kept his distance.

"I didn't fuck Sam. I love Sam.' I could barely catch my breath. 'I love him. He is the one... the one good thing to have happened to me in all these years. The best thing is Sam. He is... He is my only reason for being. I love him."

The demon smiled. He walked toward me, but I stood my ground. He circled me, his grin still plastered on his face.

"You love Sam.' He kept walked around me, slowly and deliberately. 'Sam is my most promising child. He'll be the one. He's the one I want more than anything. Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"Know your secret?' I shook my head, which only made his smile grow. He put his hands together, tapping his fingers against each other.

"No. No he doesn't." I said it quietly.

"Good.' His voice made me nervous. He was up to something, I could tell. He was behind me now. I turned my head to the side, looking to see him. He grabbed my shoulders in a tight lock that burned my skin. 'This will work out better then I thought."

"Wha....What will?" I was hesitant as his grip tightened on one of my arms as the other snaked up my body, grasping the back of my neck. I shivered, hating his touch at my skin.

"This." With the hand that was around my neck, he suddenly threw it towards my stomach. I didn't understand what he was doing until I felt the sharp tip of his dagger pierce my skin. I felt it tear into my flesh, digging deep into the muscle and tissue that makes up our fragile human bodies. I cry couldn't escape my lips. It was a pain worse then the one I had had to endure years ago.

My eyes closed and shut several times. He let me go and I dropped to the floor. With his hands, he used magic to pull me up the room wall and onto the ceiling. I could already feel the fire burning deep in my gut. I knew the dagger he had used was magic. I had seen him used it mothers of the children I had guarded.

I was only up there for a few moments before I heard our front door open. I tried to call out to you, warning you to leave while you still could, but I had no voice to call to you with, only a whisper. I saw the demon hide in the dark corners of our bedroom."

I returned to my seat on the second bed, right across from where Sam sat. I looked him square in the eye, determined to make him hear all the details of that night. I just, I wanted him to understand that the events of that night were in no way a choice I had made myself.

"I heard you walk in and pick up a cookie I had just made. You walked into our room, looked at the shower, and then went to the bed. You threw your stuff to the floor, and flopped down on the bed. I saw you close your eyes and sigh. I knew you were happy to be home."

"Using his powers, the demon once again opened my wound with his hands, allowing blood to drop down, splashing onto your forehead. You shook your head once, and when the next drop hit you, your eyes turned open to the ceiling.' I let the last of the tears I had stored fall from my face. Sam reached out and took my hand lightly. I saw tears shimmer in his eyes as well. I knew he could recall the memory with perfect clarity, as I could. 'I whispered your name and you screamed. As fast as those moments had been, nothing was as fast as when the flames exploded from my stomach, lighting the entire room on fire. I was grateful for the light; it gave me once last chance to look at you.

As the flames engulfed my body, I saw Dean run in and grab you. Once you were gone, the flames left my body completely, leaving me alive and weak, still trapped onto the ceiling."

Sam removed his hand from mine, and stood. He walked to the window I had been at. He wiped his eyes, removing any of the tears he had just made. I dried my eyes, finishing the end of the tears I would shed. I had not survived these past centuries on weakness. I had shown enough, it was time to compose myself and return to the hardened girl I had been, before.... before Sam.

"I fell to the floor and the demon put cuffs one me.' My voice was tight, all the feelings removed from my tone. Castille and Dean still stared at me. It was only Sam who didn't look at me. 'And with a snap of his fingers he sent me back down to Hell, where I have been waiting to get out since"

I looked at Dean, hating the rejection and judgement in his eyes.

"I was the one who told Castille where you were Dean. I was the one who had him pull you out of hell."

The look of shock was enough for me. I was done here. I had had enough for one night. I stood and turned to Castille. He pulled a key out of his black duster.

"I got you the room next to this one. Number 14. Go ahead.' He looked at Sam and Dean. I gave him a half smile, knowing he would stay for a moment alone with them to talk, answer any questions that they had. I walked to him and took the key from his hand. He smiled and nodded. 'I'll be there in a few."

I turned and walked out the door, taking a moment to make eye contact with Sam. Rather then smile or say anything, I simply nodded my head slightly and opened the door to leave.

"Jessica?" His voice couldn't even be called a whisper, but it rang out like a cell phone in my ears. I turned to see him. He stood up straight, no longer slouching by the door. He looked like he wanted to say something. I waited, but no words came to him. I turned and walked out the door.

I took only five steps to my door and used the small key to let myself in. I shut the door, took off my shoes and jacket and sat on the bed. My eyes drooped and I could feel sleep overpower me. So, in my jeans and black shirt, I slipped under the scratchy covers of the bed and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.


	12. Chapter 12: The Last Time

Chapter 12: The Last Time

Well, I wish my sleep had been dreamless. It would almost be better then what was actually playing in my head.

All I could picture in my mind was the last cherished memory I had of Sam and I. After remembering that night, Halloween, the day Dean showed up, all I could think about was the events that played out beforehand.

We had just gotten home from the local bar on Halloween. Both Sam and I were exhausted, so we decided to walk home early. Ryan walked with us but ditched us at the last minute in order to go out and drink more. We said goodbye at the apartment entrance and Sam and I headed upstairs. As we headed up the stairs to our apartment, I could feel Sam's eyes on my back as I walked up the stairs. I had a feeling my nurse costume, being very short, was working to my advantage at capturing Sam's attention. Just for fun, as I climbed higher onto the landing, I swayed my hips back and forth, giving him a little show to watch from behind. I heard a distressed laugh escape his lips and he reached up to place his hands on my waist. I stopped walking and he came up right behind me. I could feel his embrace tighten, and I leaned back into the warmth of his body. His chin rested on my shoulder, his mouth kissing my neck, sending shivers up my spine.

"God, I love you Jess." He whispered and his hands gripped me harder. I turned from his grasp, standing to face him. Taking his face in my hands I bent down and kissed him. I put all my love, my soul, my heart into that kiss. I could feel his passion connect with mine, and my heart soared at the thought of his love for me. When I pulled away I looked deep into his eyes.

"Show me." I dared him. He knew what I meant, because his next move was to sweep me off my feet, and carry me to our apartment door. He put me down only to push my body against the door and kiss my already swollen lips. One hand lay on my cheek, the other fumbled with the keys to open our door. My fingers were locked onto his jacket, keeping our position solid. Sam finally opened the door and we fell backwards onto our hard wood floors. I landed right on top of him, and we both giggled excessively.

Once our laughing had ceased, Sam moved his arm up to my head. He took the hair that had fallen in my face and swept it behind my ear. His eyes looked on me lovingly, and I felt beautiful in his eyes. After I leaned down to meet his lips, I stood up, and gave him my hand and pulled Sam to his feet. Still holding his hand, I turned and led him towards the bedroom. I looked back at him for a several moments and watched as a knowingly seductive smile spread across those perfect lips.

I was walking slowly to the bedroom when I felt Sam's arms at my back. I could hear the zipper of my dress as he moved it down slowly. I felt the fabric fall from my shoulders, exposing most of my back. Sam kissed his way down from my neck to the small of my back, following the zipper as he went. His touch was torture. When His lips touched my skin, I felt alive. Every cell in my body screamed out as my very flesh was scorched by the flames of desire.

When he had my dress off, I turned, standing in only my tank top and boy-short panties. I gave him the same treatment he had given me, only I kissed his chest, loving the small moans he made as my hot mouth burned his skin. I unbuttoned his shirt slowly, loving as his hands rubbed my arms as they popped the buttons and removed the fabric from his body. When I was done, Sam shrugged his shirt off and then quickly moved his strong hands to my face and cupped it as he kissed me with an intense passion.

Keeping his hands on my face, he backed me up to the foot of our bed, pushing me to a sitting position. He never broke our kiss, kneeling in front of me, he sat between my knees. I could feel the heat rise from his skin that occupied the space between my shaking knees. My hands found the muscular sides of his core.

When we broke apart, I leaned my head against his and smiled. Both of us were breathless.

"Hi." Sam whispered. He stroked my face with his soft hand.

"Hi back." I kept my voice as quiet as his was. I kissed him softly, barely touching his lips to mine. I did it again, and again. But Sam grew hungry, and he captured my bottom lip instead, ceasing my little kisses.

As the kissing heated up between us, I laid back onto the bed, allowing Sam's hand to act as a pillow behind my head. His other hand swept down from my face, over my neck, down over my breast, and held my hip bone where it jetted out from my lower stomach. As we kissed, he moved his hand back up my body, crawling under my camisole. His hand made my body tingle, and when his fingers finally touched my breast, I gasped for air.

Sam quickly removed my camisole and returned his attention to my naked chest. He removed his mouth from mine, giving his generous kisses to my scorching breasts. I moaned a little as he kissed my breasts, sucking and nibbling as his other hand moved down into my panties, touching my most private of places.

I had made love to only one man in my life, Sam, but I knew after the first time that there was no one else I could ever be with. It was like we were made for each other. I knew all of this as Sam slipped one of his fingers inside my core. I made a sound, somewhere between a gasp and a moan. I withered under his touch, only to shudder more as he added another to his already moving finger. My hands gripped the sheets above my head and my eyes were shut tight. I could feel my insides warm up, becoming slippery as he prepared me for him.

Sometime, while I was in the midst of my pleasure, Sam had slipped my panties off, leaving me exposed to his whims. When I looked up to see my lover's face, I smiled seeing his own desire in his eyes, as he looked down to my naked body. As I stared at him he removed his jeans and boxers, leaving him as bare as I was. He moved down to hover over me as we lay on our bed. We kissed again and again, and I could feel his erection rub against the top of my thighs as his hands were on either side of my head, kissing me deeply.

I was so focused on Sam's lips as they took siege of my own, that it was a surprise to me when I felt Sam slowly enter my damp center. He took me slowly, giving me pure ecstasy as he took his time. My hands once again gripped his sides, helping him move within me, setting such a steady pace. Both of us were breathing heavily. I kissed him deeply as he plunged deeper and deeper into me. Sam picked up the pace, but kept his movements fluid and even. I was panting and I felt my entire body tingle with pleasure.

He and I were so close, I could feel it as we moved together. He whispered he loved me into my ear, and that was enough to send me over the edge. My orgasm swept over me, sending me higher with each word he soothed into my ear. I shook and trembled under his body. As I was coming down from the ceiling, I felt Sam's body shudder and suddenly a deep warmth puddled inside of me. I loved feeling him, his fluid inside of me. I told him I was on the pill, but in truth, I could never get pregnant since I was stuck in the body in which I had died. Sam kissed me again and again, continuing even after he pulled out of me.

The best part about Sam was that he loved to cuddle after we made love. It was the perfect ending to the most amazing experience of my life. Sam laid on his back and I curled up on his side with his arms around me. He kissed my forehead tenderly and we fell into a wonderful sleep.

It seemed like only seconds but I suppose hours had passed before Sam woke up after hearing a noise. We both quickly got up and slipped on our normal pajamas. Sam told me to wait into the bedroom as he went to figure out what was going on in our apartment. I guess that's where it all started, since the next time I saw Sam, Dean was with him, and thats when this crazy mess started. It was the best dream to have had.


	13. Chapter 13: The Next Day

Chapter 13: The Next Day

When I woke up the next morning, a wave of emotion rushed over me, nearly knocking the very breath from my body as I remembered the events from the night before. I laid in bed, still lounged on my side. I watched the sun rays sparkle in through the motel window. Their warmth gave me hope for the day ahead. I didn't need to roll over to know that Castille was sitting in an armchair on the opposite side of the room. I could feel his worry float in the air, and I immediately felt guilt for making him worry for me.

"Stop thinking so hard. You're going to hurt yourself." I smiled, giggling as I rolled over to look at Castille.

"Good morning to you too.' Castille's voice was like honey, smooth and warm. He sat in the armchair, right leg crossed over his left. One arm was folded in his lap and the other was leaned against his face. He always looked quite heavenly, and I could see his angelic presence through his posture. Admiring him, I sat up and rubbed my eyes, removing the sleep with my fingers. 'How'd you sleep?"

"Fine, I guess.' I stood up off the bed and walked into the bathroom. I found an unwrapped packaged tooth brush and a small thing of tooth paste. I smiled to myself, grateful for Castille's consideration. I brushed and washed my face. I looked up into the mirror as the water dripped down my skin. I was anxious, dreading talking to the boys again this morning. But, I didn't have a choice in the matter.

I dried my face off and walked into the main room. Castille was in the same spot, but the bed had been made up and there were clothes sitting on the edge of it. I noticed Castille had changed his clothes as well, and I smiled at his thoughtfulness. I quickly changed into the jeans, white tank top, and a soft plaid flannel shirt. The black and red buttoned top went with my black vans, and I couldn't figure out if it was a coincidence or if Castille had actually taken the time to match my clothes.

I came out and huffed my breath. Castille took it as a sign to start whatever it was he had to say to me. I sat at the foot of the bed as he stood and paced before me.

"I know last night was hard, Jessica.' He walked back and forth. Watching him was making me dizzy, so I stared down at my hands instead. I guess he noticed because he decided to kneel before me, placing his hands on my knees over my own hands. 'It's going to get harder."

I knew he was right, but that didn't mean I needed to hear it. I just nodded, refusing to actually answer his pep talk.

"I know.... I know you love Sam. But, you have a mission here. We need to keep him alive. The both of them. We need to make sure the demon doesn't get to him...."

I stood at this point, not being able to take it anymore.

"I know Castille, I know."

"Jess... we just, we need to make sure this works out. We can't afford to lose him. It's bad enough the demon has you in his grasp, can you imagine what would happen if he had Sam? He'd turn him evil..."

"And then Sam would take over the world and humanity would all be screwed. I know."

Castille looked defeated. But his words were only meant to be soothing and helpful. The only trouble was, in a situation like this one, there was nothing anyone, not even an angel, could do or say to be helpful. I know what I have to do, I know the mission.

"Well, we should get going,' Castille stood and walked towards the old motel door. He opened and motioned for me to pass through, so I stood and faced the chilled air. Castille came up beside me and set our pace at an even slow one. I guess the conversation wasn't over. 'The boys are at the diner down the street. We're going to meet them."

"Then what?"

"The demon they're after needs to be caught, so we'll work on that. Once we catch and kill whatever they're after, we move on.' We stopped, and he turned to face me. We were right outside the diner now and I could see Sam and Dean sitting in a booth, eating. Castille grasped my shoulders, bringing my attention back to him. 'We must move on, hide, keep Sam safe. We need to save him. Keeping him alive, and good.... that's the only things that matters now."

* * *

Sorry I haven't posted in a while! It's been a very busy month! I will be posting more soon. Thanks for your patience and your reviews!

Happy New Year!


	14. Chapter 14: The Plan

Chapter 14: Our Plan

Castille and I walked into the small diner. The boys were laughing at some ridiculous thing that I can only imagine Dean had said, but as we walked up, Sam (who was facing me) suddenly stopped laughing. His smile slowly slid off his face and I could feel my heart drop and his my stomach. I hesitated walking for a moment, but then continued walking behind Castille towards the booth.

Sam and Dean slid over when we reached their little station. Castille slid in next to my former lover, leaving me to sit across from Sam and next to Dean. Castille smiled at me and I knew that if I could, I would have smacked him at that moment. Thank goodness for 500 years of learned patience and timing.

A waitress came over to the table. She was tall, red headed, and could have been considered pretty if she hadn't been caked in makeup. Her name tag read "Candy", though I doubted that it was her real name. Candy smiled sweetly at Sam and Dean, popping her bubble gum and batting her long fake lashes in attempt to look sexy. Instead, it was just painful to watch.

"What can I get for you, cuties?" Her voice was very strange, too high pitched to be real. Candy smiled at Dean, Sam, and Castille, tapping her heel in an even tempo.

"Well,' Castille cleared his throat, erasing the silence that had surrounded the table, with the exception of the shoe tapping. 'I'll have a cup of coffee."

"That all, sweetheart?"

"Yes, that's all." Castille gave her a patient yet weak smile. Candy then turned her attention to Dean. She raised her eyebrows, obviously asking the same question without words.

"Yea, uhhh, I'll have a burger, fries, and coffee." He handed the menu to her with a sweet little smile. She shuddered at the attention, proving that Dean was truly in fact the modern Casanova. But it wasn't enough to hold her, so she quickly switched her attention to Sam, who was still contemplating the menu.

Again, her eyebrows went up, asking the same question, in the same style yet again. Her eyes softened when she looked at Sam and I smirked on the inside because I knew Sam wasn't going to be interested in this.... "Candy". She just wasn't his type. Or, at least, I hope she wasn't.

"I'll just have a coffee and a burger as well, but no fries please." He closed up the menu and handed it to her. Looking her straight in the eyes, he gave her a sweet thank you, and then turned to look at me. As our eyes connected, there was a moment where I couldn't leave his gaze, despite the three people around us who were also in awe of our moment.

"Whatcha want?" Candy's annoying voice snapped me out of the moment just as my stomach let out a huge dinosaur growl. I guess I didn't realize how hungry I was. I blushed at the noise. Dean and Castille tried to hide their smiles, but Sam, he just started laughing. I giggled a bit, but I tried to stay quiet. I hadn't heard that laugh in so long. I wanted to savor every moment of it, putting it away into my memory for another time.

"I would like some chocolate chip pancakes, a diet coke, a side of bacon.... and , oh yea, a banana split. No nuts." I handed her the menu and smiled. I hoped my face told her she was dismissed. Rude, I know, but in my head, Sam was still my love, my man, and I was still protective of him.

As she walked away, Dean and Castille broke out laughing and Sam just smiled.

"I forgot how much you can eat." His voice was soft and calm. He giggled a bit. It took a few moments for the laughter to die down, but afterwards, we were left in an awkward silence. It lasted until the food came and continued on until we were close to being done with our meal. As we ate and it was Castille, as he sipped his coffee, that broke our silence.

"We need to leave as soon as possible." Castille's smooth voice was quiet, whispering as to not alarm the other customers around us. The intensity in his voice was there, noticeable to me and I assumed the boys understood it too.

Dean and Sam looked up from their plates and gave inquisitive glares. I continued to eat my chocolate chip pancakes. Before Sam or Dean could swallow enough to ask what Castille meant, Candy brought out my banana split, and damn did it look beautiful. As she walked away, I took my last bite of pancakes and slid the banana split closer to me. I felt eyes on me and I immediately looked up. All three of the men in the booth stared at me, gawking at the amount of food I had consumed. I scooped a huge chunk of ice cream, banana, whipped cream, and fudge and put it in my mouth. I continued to stare back at them until I had chewed and swallowed my mouthful.

"Want some?" I was still chewing as I asked. Sam just smiled and shook his head. I used to do this often enough when we were together. He always told me how cute it was, how cute I looked doing it. My thoughts were once again interrupted by Castille. Bless him. He was forever saving me from being captured by my thoughts.

"We need to leave once we're done."

"We can't. There's still that nest of vampires. We have to find their den and kill them." Sam was so serious.

"We have to.... You have to. Getting you out of here is the only option, it's our plan. You have no choice. Leave the vampires." Castille looked fierce, his tone said his word was final, but I knew that neither Dean nor Sam was going to let this go without a fight.

"What? You gotta be kidding me!" People turned to stare at Dean. He was nearly jumping out of his seat and his eyes were narrow and angry, demanding an answer from Castille.

"Do you want to keep Sam alive? Safe? Do you want to see him be the slave a pure evil thing, the possession, of the yellow eyed demon? DO you?"

Castille's voice shook with rage. Dead sat back down in his seat. His eyes turned from a furrowed brow to doe eyed, wide and scared.

"No,' All three of us, Dean, Castille, and I turned to look at Sam. He looked down at his plate, shaking a little, and I could see the anger wash over him. Sam's voice shook a little, but it was quiet and intense. A whisper that breathed rage in it's deliverance. 'No. We're finding the nest. We have to. We can't let them stay here, killing off the people of this town! I can't let this happen. I won't."

Castille was in deep thought as Dean and I continued to look at Sam. Not once did he lift his shift his gaze or look up at us. Sitting across from him, I could feel his anger. Even after being apart for so long, I still attuned to him, reading him like an open book. I wanted to comfort him, but despite how close we were in distance, we were so far apart. I wanted to calm his anger. I felt this intense need to do both, keep Sam safe and kill the vampires. When I looked to Castille, I could see his thoughts mirrored mine. It took several seconds, but I saw the lightbulb go off in his eyes.

"Alright... this is what we'll do. Sam, you're coming with me. We're going to a safe haven, someplace where they won't get to you.' Sam started to argue, but Castille put his hand up and silenced him, like a father to his impatient son. 'Dean, Jessica. You'll stay here, kill the vampires, then join us.' Dean looked at me and we all started to protest at the same time. Work with Dean? Was Castille crazy? As Sam and Dean started to talk to him, argue their way out of it, Castille again raised his hand, stopping both boys mid sentence. 'It's this, or nothing."

I nodded in agreement, as did Sam and Dean. Castille left a one hundred dollar bill on the counter and got up to leave. We scooted out of the booths and walked outside. The Impala was sitting there in the back of the diner. Dean grabbed a bag out of the back of the car, and Sam stepped behind the hood to talk for just a moment. Castille took me aside.

"We'll be safe. I'll keep him safe, I promise.' He cupped my face. 'I know you still love him. Trust me, he loved you as well. He still does. I'll keep him safe for you. You have my word." He pulled me close and kissed me gently on the forehead. I could feel his blessing spread down, throughout my body. His power was strong.

When we pulled apart, the brothers stood there staring at us. I suppose they had already said their goodbyes. I nodded and gave Sam a half smile. I didn't know if he trusted me enough to let me close. I didn't know if he even wanted me close, let alone want me all together. I had betrayed him, I could see it in his brown eyes. I just hoped it wasn't too late.

Castille walked over and placed his hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Jessica, you'll know where to find us once the hunting is complete." I nodded. He was powerful alright. His kiss, though it seemed like a sweet gesture, was a way for him to plant information in my head. Once the vampires were done, Dean and I could find them, and I'd know where they were hiding when the time was right.

In a blink of an eye, Castille and Sam were gone. Dean and I stood there for a moment. Awkward. Very awkward. He finally walked to the Impala, and I did the same. He was at the drivers door when I approached the passenger side. We both had switched to our game faces, and we were ready to take this blood suckers on.

"You ready?" He looked at me over the hood of the car. I gave him a smirk, a look I rarely used, except on cocky bastards like Dean.

"Are you?" I ducked down and got into the car, sliding easily into the passenger seat. Dean laughed and shook his head. He got behind the wheel and ignited the engine. As the car roared to life, all I could think was hunting with Dean... well this sure was going to be interesting...


	15. Chapter 15: The Vampire Hunt

Chapter 15: The Vampire Hunt

Dean drove down an abandoned interstate, out into the middle of fields and uncultivated plains. The golden land that surrounded us seem to go on for miles, but it was hidden beneath the dark of the night. We had spent all day doing research and we were now finally on our way to find and kill the vampires. Despite the evil we were about to face, I enjoyed looking out the window as a passenger in the ever sacred Impala, better known as Dean's "baby".

The music that had filled the car suddenly faded out, and I looked to see Dean slowly turning the dial of the radio off. Looking ahead, I saw an old barn in the distance, deserted and old. A perfect place for a vampires lair. I sat up a little straighter, and set my mind into hunting mode. I looked over yet again and saw Dean mentally preparing himself as well.

About a quarter of a mile away from the barn, Dean pulled the car over along the side of the interstate. We parked and got our, striding to the trunk of the Impala. The weapons Dean had would hopefully be enough for him. Taking a deep breath in, I smelled only five or so beings near us. Dean had fought young vampires before, but these were ancient ones, stronger and more cunning than any he had encountered before. The weapons he had were good, but I hoped it would be enough. I couldn't take on five old vampires myself and protect Dean at the same time. He'd have to be able to fend for himself, at least until I could get rid of a few of them.

Dean took out a sword, a few knives and daggers, and a gun. He then tried to hand me another sword that had been pulled from the trunk of his car. I shook my head no.

"You're gonna need it.' He again tried to hand me the sword. I didn't need it. I pulled a dagger out, one that I hid on my body at all times, and held it firmly in my hand. 'That little thing isn't gonna do much damage. Your not gonna kill too many vamps with that thing."

"This isn't for killing, Dean.' I flipped the dagger in my hand, tossing it up, and showed off a few moves I had picked up over time. 'This is just a distraction." I smiled and began to walk away, towards the barn. After locking the car, I heard Dean jog to catch up with me, metal clanking due to the weapons he gathered in his hands. He ran before me and stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Whoa whoa whoa there, sweetheart.' I crossed my hands over my chest, knowing he wasn't going to stop until I had let him speak his piece, as well as give him an answer. 'So, you're just gonna march in there, with a tiny dagger, and do what? Poke 'em? Maybe wave it around their faces a bit?"

"Well that would be completely pointless, no wouldn't it?" My attitude was sarcastic. I should have ben more patient, after all, he had never encountered a..... well whatever it is I was before. I sighed and uncrossed my arms. Looking up at Dean, I smiled a little and decided to explain the situation as best I could.

"Look, Dean, working for the demon... it comes with some special gifts. I don't need a sword to kill a vampire." Dean stared and thought about what I had said for a few moments. Looking me up and down, he finally shrugged his shoulders and turned to walk on. He muttered something as we walked. Something that sounded like, "Your funeral". I ignored him and focused on the target ahead.

When we reached the barn, our footsteps got quieter and our movements were slower, hopefully giving us the element of surprise. Dean nodded to the back, indicating where he was going to go. I strode to the front of the barn, standing before the two large wooden doors that led to the lair itself.

Within a moment of me standing there, I heard Dean burst in through the back door. There were a few screams and the sound of his sword, but the majority of the sounds made out to be the vampires attacking Dean. I stood for a few moments, allowing him to fight some of them before I made my move. A yell of distress from the older Winchester brother decreed the exact timing I would enter the fight.

I closed my eyes and focused only a small portion of my power on the doors. They flew open, making a wooden breaking noise as they slammed against the side of the barn. Wind raced through towards me, sweeping my hair so it flew behind me. I walked in, confident and ready to battle. All eyes turned to me as I strode in. The vampires stopped and looked at me with interest and fear, just as Dean looked at me with curiosity and confusion. WIth my dagger in my hand, I walked closer to the mess that Dean had created.

I evaluated the situation, seeing five vampires: two female and three male. One of the men had Dean by the throat, shoved against a wooden pole that helped to hold up the barn roof. Both the females had scurried to the one side of the barn, looking scared and worried. The other two male were close the pole where Dean was trapped against. They seemed ready to dive in on the action at any free moment they had. What a fine mess Dean had gotten himself into. Now I knew why he needed Sam.

"Well, looks like I interrupted something.' I smiled and threw my dagger from one hand to the other, flipping it in the air. 'You don't mind if I join in do you?"

The two free male vampires raced towards me. The first one to reach me attempted to grab my neck, but he didn't get very far. I grabbed his hand, twisting it around until I heard a bone crunching snap. He screamed in agony, and the sound only got louder when I kneed him straight between the legs as hard as I could. Since the change, I have had, well, super "powers", one of them being strength. Kneeing him in the crotch sent him flying backwards, crashing into the side of the barn, breaking the wood behind him.

The next vampire, a blonde haired male covered in tattoos, jumped at me the moment the other one hit the wood. As he flew at me, I raised my hand with the dagger and stabbed him in the neck before he could reach me. Blood squirted from his neck, staining my new white tank top with it. I pulled the knife from his jugular, and slid it into the muscle of his thigh. Wrapping my two arms around his neck, I twisted until I again heard that bone crunching sound. He dropped before me, on his hands and knees. There was a crimson river that flowed from the vampire's body, creating a small puddle on the floor.

Summoning my strength and power, I reached out my hand, my palm stretched out, fingers lifted towards the air. I closed my eyes, then opened them again, seeing everything before me in black and white. I allowed the power that had inhabited my body for years to flow from its place deep within my body to the tips of my fingers. I muttered a small phrase of ancient magical words, and once the text escaped from my tongue the spell began to work. I watched, in a deep clouded vision as the vampire before me widened his eyes as I sucked the life form from within him. It's true, a vampire has no soul, but there is a life form within, an essence that keeps him immortally alive, and hungry for the taste of fresh human blood. I pulled that essence from him and left the body that had once been both human and then a vampire on the floor.

I looked up to see the vampire that held Dean drop him to the floor. A scared look came upon his face, but it escaped from his face as quickly as it appeared. He lunged towards me, but with the power already coursing through my veins, I easily took him down, just as I had the other one. When that was done, I moved to do the same to the other vampire I had flung against the wall just moments earlier. Looking at him, i felt the darkness simmer in my eyes and I again reached for my power, leaving him as a corpse, just as I had the other two. A noise from behind startled me, and I turned to see Dean slicing off the head of one of the females. I used my power again to take down the other one.

Dean was done before I was, so when I looked up, he stood there out of breath and was staring at me with a mixture of fear and anger scratched across his face. I blinked for a few moments, and my vision finally cleared. I had forgotten that my eyes turned black when I used my power. Dean, looking at me, he had to have seen my eyes. It had to have only reminded him that I was, in fact, part demon. Looking at him with my normal eyes, I saw a wave of relief wash over his face and I felt better, having him recognize that I wasn't a threat.

I reached down and picked up my dagger, the one I had embedded in the vampires skin. I wiped the blood from my face, waiting for Dean to decide what to do next. I was never much of a leader, and I knew that when he could, Dean liked to be in charge.

"Well, that was fun.' Sarcasm rang in his voice. 'Let's go." He strode past me, anger filling each step he took. Though I was confused, I followed behind him, walking at a decent pace behind him.

When I reached the car, Dean was already shoving his things with force back into the trunk of his car. I walked around the trunk and jumped as he slammed the hood shut. I walked to the passenger door and waited for Dean to unlock the car so I could get in. He walked to his side and opened his own door and then unlocked mine. He stood there, between the door and the seat, one arm slung over the roof of the car, the other waiting on the top of the car door. He looked pissed. I waited, patiently I might add, until he finally burst.

"You couldn't have let me had another one?' He was shouting and the noise hurt my ears. Damn, he was loud. 'I mean, there were five of them! You couldn't have a least let me had another? Seriously, dude? Seriously?"

I smiled, shook my head, and let out a small and quiet giggle.

"Sorry. I couldn't help but save your life." I tried to hide it, but I couldn't hide the amusement in my voice. I got in the car, buckled my seatbelt and waited for Dean to start the car. He slid in just as easily, and slammed his door shut. I suppressed another giggle, but I knew I was unsuccessful by the annoyed look on Dean's face. He turned away from me and started the car. Right before he started to drive, he turned to me again, still annoyed.

"We don't tell anyone about this... this little fight. Especially not Sam. Got it?"

"I make no promises." I giggled as the car sped off, leaving Dean's embarrassing situation in the whirling dust behind us.


	16. Chapter 16: A Familiar Place

Chapter 16: A Familiar Place

As Dean drove down the road, I rolled the window down, allowing the breeze from the night sky to flow through the tangles of my golden curls. I leaned my arms against the window, laying my head upon my elbows, looking forward to what was coming next.

"So, where to?" Dean's elbow was sitting on the lowered window's ledge. His tense eyes stared down the dark road, but his attention was very much on my answer. I pulled my head in from the window, mirroring Dean's position.

"California.' My voice was calm, but my excitement was bubbling to the surface. 'Stanford, California." I lifted the corner of my lips a little, showing a small smile.

"Stanford, California?' Dean couldn't hide the confusion in his voice. 'Why the hell are Sam and Castile in Stanford? Of all the places...." Dean shook his head with disdain. I knew it was the last place he wanted to go, the last place Sam would go. It made Stanford the perfect place to go. No one, not even the demon I served, would ever think to look for him there. After all that had happened, it was a place filled with pain and emotion for Sam; a place where we could be safe, at least for a little while.

We didn't say another word during the drive. A silence filled the car, but neither Dean nor I felt the need to say something. It was isolating, each of us deep in our own world of thoughts.

We drove all night, arriving in California before the early dawn. I was able to see the sun rise over the I-5, the warm honey hills rolling like ocean waves as the car sped by them. The signs for San Luis Obispo, Monterey, Santa Cruz, San Jose, and finally Palo Alto. As soon as the last sign appeared, I sat up a little straighter, brushing my hair back with my hands. I looked around, taking in all the familiar sights. In all my years, Stanford was the only place I could ever call home. Maybe it was because of Sam, or the friends I made, or the atmosphere, but this was home to me.

Dean turned his head towards me, shook his head and laughed. My nerves and excitement radiated off my body, and I could only assume he felt it as well. I smiled and rolled the window down. Stanford. Home.

* * *

Dean pulled up at a little motel just off the main street of town around two in the afternoon. It was dinky and low end, but I knew that this is what the boys had been used to. We both got out of the car, pushing the doors closed with a small slam. Dean took off his sunglasses, letting his eyes adjust to the majestic California sun.

"I think I liked your other place better." Dean stated the sarcastically drenched fact. I gave him a look. I missed me and Sam's apartment. It was a perfect little home for us. We always joked that is was the "first of many" for us. He was right though. I preferred our apartment over this grubby motel. But I knew it was best, for Sam and Dean, that we stay on a low profile, especially me. If any of our friends were still here, seeing me, well let's just say being burned to a crisp and then reappearing long after all your friends and loved ones presume your dead, well, it's not exactly a good situation. Who am I kidding? It's a terrible situation!

I nodded towards the staircase, and followed Dean up the cement stairs. We walked along the balcony until we reached the last two rooms. The doors were directly next to each other, so I assumed that Castile, in preparation for our arrival, had booked two rooms. Noise was coming from the farthest door, which made me believe that this was the room that Sam and Castile were currently occupying. Dean must have caught on as well. He moved closer, raising his fist to knock, but the door swung open before he could even attempt a knock.

"Good.' Castile stood there, still in his trench coat, looking tense as usual. He held the door open for Dean and I as we walked in. 'You found us."

The room was much better than I had been led to believe. It was large. We walked into a small living area that contained a table, chairs, couch and a television. There were two beds, queen sized, pushed up against the farthest wall. The bathroom was towards the right and the wall space between the little living area and bed held a door, which I could only assume led to the adjoining bedroom. It was clean and looked good. The bright green that screamed from every corner of the room was the only flaw. Bright green wallpaper, forest green beds and matching carpets, even the doors were green. It was creepy, but other than the work the blind interior designers choices, it was a good motel room.

Sam was seated on the couch, his body turned towards us as we walked in. He looked perfect. Plaid shirt, blue jeans, hair smooth and framing his perfect face, and those eyes. My heart began to pound, trying to escape from my chest which caged it in. My breath drew short and I stared for a few moments, allowing the blood to flow to my cheeks. How is it that he did this to me? Would I never be able to see him, look at him without my heart trying to escape my chest?

"Jessica, are you alright?" Castile's voice pulled me from my thoughts and I dropped my eyes to the floor. I could feel all three men staring at me, and the blush that had warmed my cheeks spread through my entire body, lighting it on fire. I simply nodded and waited for the moment to pass. I've never been the shy quiet one, nor have I ever been the most outgoing, but these moments brought that school girl side out of me.

"Well,' Dean tried breaking the silence, throwing his duffle bag on the nearest of the bed. 'It's gonna be hard to be blue in this room.' He looked at all three of us, his eyes shifting to each of us one at a time. We stayed silent as he looked. 'No? No takers?' With a shrug, he pulled out a beer from the six pack that rested next to Sam on the couch, and collapsed on the bed. He began mumbling to himself. 'I thought it was funny."

I smiled a little, tucking my hands into the back pockets of my jeans. Sam still sat on the couch, but he too was trying to repress a smile. Castile just looked morbidly serious... as usual.

Castile walked over to the table and took a seat in one of the green- yes, green- wicker chairs. Dean and I stared at him from our spots, while Sam had to rest his chest against the back of the couch to face him. We waited in silence, impatient for the next step in this plan. It only took him a moment to realize we were looking at him.

"What?"

"What now?" I asked, my voice was soft and level, but I hoped Castile could sense the urgency that he was meant to hear.

"We stay low, keep quiet, and we wait."

"Wait for what?' Sam was up off the couch in a flash. His voice was verging on the side of shouting. I could see his chest rise and fall with such an intensity. The anger he held was apparent, and Dean sat up a little straighter and became a bit more tense once his brother was up on his feet. Sam continued to stand there, chest thumping with tight breath, only a few feet in front of Castile.

"We wait until we figure out our next move." Castile didn't move a muscle. Despite Sam's outburst, he remained stationary in his chair, the soldier of God that he was. I knew this answer wouldn't be acceptable to Sam, so I readied myself to say something, but luckily Dean stepped up before me.

"Do we have to wait in here?" Dean stood up and walked towards Sam, still facing Castile. Both boys turned towards him, hope shining in their eyes. I have to admit, there was hope in my stare as well. I would love nothing more to get out of the motel room and out into Stanford. All me and Sam's friends would have graduated by now... I wanted so badly to walk around campus, pretend that I was still just Jessica Moore. Normal college girl.

"Ahh.." Castile was hesitant. I could tell he wanted to lock Sam in this room and throw away the key. I knew it was best for him to stay out of sight too, but he wanted this just as much as I did, and his desire to explore Stanford only increased my curiosity as well.

"C'mon Castile. I'm not going to stay locked up here forever." Sam was demanding in a voice I knew he had made for when he became a lawyer. Castile still looked unsure, but when his eyes flashed to me and Dean, there was no way out of it.

"Fine.' He was calm, thinking ahead to his conditions. 'You go out. You stay in public places. The first sign of any trouble... you call me. Even if it's just a hunch. You call. Got it?"

Sam and Dean both nodded their heads, releasing enthusiasm. I too nodded, but mine was not as jovial. Both boys grabbed their coats and turned to walk out the door. The look on Castile's face told me that there had to be another condition he wasn't telling us, so I stayed in my place.

"Sam. Dean.' His voice rang out, a father calling to his mischevious adolescent sons. 'Jessica stays with you.' All three of us gave him a look. While I knew it was best for Sam, I couldn't help but want to wander alone for a while. It still hurt to see Sam, be so close to him and not hold his hand or kiss him. I needed space; but I guess it wasn't in the cards for me at that moment. 'I mean it. Jess, keep them in your sights. Under no circumstances are you three to be separated. Understood?"

We nodded our heads, eager to make our way out. Dean held open the door and Sam motioned that I ought to exit first. I got half way through the door when the last warning bell struck.

"I'll know. If you disobey, I'll know." Always trust an angel to make good on his threats. I continued out the door, and I knew Sam and Dean had followed by the slam of the door closing. We were out. We were free. Now what?

I led us down the stairs, but once I was on the cement, I let Dean and Sam take the lead. I walked behind them at a leisurely pace. Sam walked up a bit ahead of me, an arms length away. His hands were at his sides, and on an impulse, he reached back with his right hand, searching for mine. He did this all the time when we were together. It was because he claimed I walked too slow. But, it only took a split second before he realized what he did. He quickly shoved his hands into his jean pockets and walked faster. My heart tore a bit, because, as he had reached back, I had pushed mine forward. I modeled after him and put my hands in my pockets.

When we reached the main street Dean and Sam debated on where to go. I was only half paying attention, choosing to focus on the town I had missed so dearly. The memories and thoughts came flooding back, crashing on the shore of my mind. The smell, the sound, the feel. It was all just as I remembered it, and I took the chance to bask in the real thing, rather then my memory.

"Jess. Jess. JESS!" Sam was yelling my name. I snapped out of my dream and looked into his face. I guess he and Dean had been talking to me while I was out in space. I was embarrassed but decided to shrug my shoulders rather then lead on to that fact.

"Uhh, we're hungry. Any place you wanna go? I mean, we can't decide..." Sam was talking quietly, timidly, as though he were afraid that speaking normally might frighten me as it did before. He was nervously rambling, looking anywhere but my eyes. One hand scratched the back of his head as his eyes wandered. Before he could ramble on a second more, I interrupted him with my first thought.

"The Counter.' My voice was strong and I had confidence in my choice. 'Let's go to the Counter." I pushed through the two of them and walked with determination and confidence the entire four blocks it took to get to the burger joint.

Once there, I pulled the door open, and waited to usher them inside. As Sam was about to walk through, Dean pushed ahead and cut him off. He mumbled something like "hot... waitress". I laughed, and so did Sam. We both stopped laughing when we looked at each other. There was a moment of silence between us, and our smiles faded. I continued to hold the door open as Sam stood under the doorway, and though the majority of it had faded, I still felt the corners of my mouth lift up into a small yet visible smile. Looking at him, I couldn't help that adoration shined through my eyes. Sam looked back at me with the same look, a look I had received a thousand times before and one that I had missed very dearly.

"So,' Sam was still talking softly, but a bit louder then before. His normal soothing voice was back and I was grateful to hear it, like a sweet song ringing in my ears. 'So... why the Counter?" He looked down at me, curiosity filling into his eyes, fighting with adoration for room in his pupils. I'd say the fight was a draw, as both evenly penetrated my own stare. I smiled at his question, a genuine Jessica smile. Only my best for my Sam. I shook my head a bit. Wasn't the answer obvious?

"Because. It's your favorite, Sam." With that, I pulled the door open even wider and slide my way between Sam and the door into the restaurant. I was still smiling as I walked to the corner booth table that was already occupied by Dean. I slid in, taking the middle of the booth, leaving room for Sam to sit across from Dean. I figured he would like that best.

Sam walked up to us, and I could still make out the small twinge of a smile on his face. I knew remembering it was his favorite was a small thing, but I knew he always loved it when I could remember stuff like that. I liked that he was pleased with me, remembering me as I used to be. Memory was the only weapon I had to fight the demonic, evil image that Sam had of me, and I was going to fight it with everything I had.

Sam turned to me and smiled a little, filling in what felt like a missing part of his face. I smiled back and giggled. He shook his head and laughed a little too.

"Oh, 'cause this isn't already awkward enough..." Dean mumbled as he gazed at the menu. His comment, though not neccessary, made me laugh harder. And, for the first time in a long time, sitting there, laughing while Sam smiled and laughed too, I felt good. Complete. Normal. I felt like Jessica again.

* * *

There was very little conversation during lunch, and even less as we walked up and down the street. We stopped and browsed at a few shops, but it was mostly just an afternoon of walking.

We started back to the motel around five, but we took our time. Though it was hours away from the party at the bars and clubs, the majority of them were getting ready, preparing for the long and wild night ahead.

As the sidewalk became more and more crowded, Sam, Dean, and I moved to walk in the street, staying in the bike lane that fit the three of us walking side by side. Soon, our street became deserted, save for a group of people on the opposite side walking towards us. It wasn't completely dark yet, but it helped that the streetlights were on and upon us.

The group of four people walking toward us got louder and louder as they approached. Sam was walking closest to the road, and as we drew nearer, the girls of the group began to stare. We only could see their faces for a moment as we passed each other, but I couldn't see well enough to make out who they were. It wasn't until we had completely walked by them that the recognition hit.

"Sam?' The tall blonde of the group asked. She had stopped in the middle of the road and had turned to us. We stopped, and Sam turned around at the sound of his name. The voice was familiar to me, but I didn't recognize it right away. 'Sam Winchester?"

The three girls, including the blonde, walked towards us, as the guy who accompanied them. I could tell Sam was trying to make out their faces in the dark. Both Dean and I were too, but Sam stood closer and he was able to recognize them before I could even get a good look at them.

"Sam Winchester! Where the hell have you been?" The blonde was the one to rush forward first. The giggling grew louder as all four of them got closer and closer to him. Sam's squint turned into a smile as the girls face became much clearer under the streetlight.

"Becky?" Sam was swooped into a big hug and he returned it with just as much effort as she had put into it. Soon, they all had their arms wrapped around Sam, an overloaded group hug that echoed with giggles and laughs. But that's when it hit me. Becky. My freshmen roommate. My best friend at Stanford. I never thought I would see her again. Behind her came Anna, Carrie, and Ryan. My friends... the only friends I had ever made. Here they were. I was seeing them in real life.

Luckily, my shock wore over after a few moments, but it was still too long for me. I swiftly moved behind Dean, using him as a shield from my old friends. Dean didn't seem to get why I was ducking, but he did keep still.

They thought I was dead. To them, I was dead. They had been there at my funeral and I bet that they had visited my grave since my supposed death. Seeing me now, well, it wasn't really an option. I knew it would end badly. We weren't ready for that. I wasn't ready for that! They were so raptured by Sam's reappearance, I hoped luck was on my side and that they hadn't noticed me.

"Oh my God.' Becky's voice came out as a screaming whisper. All her attention turned to me, and I could see the others turn to look at me from where I hid. Dean moved and I was left exposed. Seeing me in the light made their jaws drop and I felt my heart pump faster and faster, nerves surging through my body. All their eyes were upon me and the only place I could look was at Sam. 'Oh my God. Jessica?"

Well, I guess I was once again shit out of luck.

I am so sorry it's taken me so long to update! I've been sicker than sick and it's been a struggle just to get myself out of bed to attend lessons! I will try to update soon, promise. Please review! I would love nothing more than to know what you think!


	17. Chapter 17: An Owed Explanation

Chapter 17: An Owed Explanation

"Oh my God! Jessica!" Becky's words came out in a whisper, but her look of shock screamed louder than any other noise. Ryan, Carrie, and Anna all wore the same expression of disbelief. Hell, even Sam was looking at me as though he hadn't realized I had come back from the dead.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. My heart was pounding at a rapid pace, and I could feel my pulse racing to keep up. My face was flushed and my every cell in my body was alive, but I resisted the urge to run. I was frozen though my blood was boiling in my veins. I needed to think. Think, Jessica! Think! I needed an excuse, any excuse! Looking at Sam and Dean, I realized neither one was going to be able to help me out. Dammit! How could I be so careless? Walking around? In the open? In Stanford of all places? This was my own damn fault. I struggled to find my voice. I wished I was better about thinking on my feet.

As I stood there, looking all around me. Becky stepped towards me, and once she stood before me, we made eye contact. Here she was, my best friend. Man, I had missed her. We stared at each other, tears stinging both of our eyes. After a few moments, Becky's arms wrapped around me,embracing me with all her strength. I returned the hug with all my might. Tears streamed down my eyes and I sobbed into Becky's shoulder. I felt warm tear on the back of my neck, and I knew she was crying as well.

Another set of arms wrapped around us. Then another. And another. Carrie, Anna, and Ryan were surrounding us, holding us like they were never going to let go. I hadn't felt to good, so loved, since my return. This is what I had wanted... No, this is what I had needed since I had returned.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Dean joined Sam. The two of them were watching us, whispering about something. I could tell they were concerned on the excuse for my existence. I watched them for a few minutes, and then suddenly, I was standing on my own. The embrace ended and I now stood before the three of them.

"My God, Jess,' Anna's voice was smooth like butter and melted with her curiosity. 'What in the name of Dr. Phil happened to you?" We all had a laugh. Anna was the daughter of a pastor. The short curvy brunette was sweet and was always coming up with funny little phrases to use instead of what she called curse words. I wiped the tears from my eyes, watching the girls do the same. Sam and Dean came to stand next to us, so huddled in a circle, like a group of adolescent girls.

"It's a long story." I laughed a little and continued to wipe away my tears. It was so good to see them, and I told them so.

"Your alive. We thought you were dead..." Carrie couldn't hide the shock in her voice. Of the three girls, Carrie and I weren't as close. She was more Becky's friend than mine. She was best described as misunderstood. A spoiled rich daddy's girl, Carrie got everything she wanted and suffered severely from only child syndrome. She wasn't the nicest of girls, and that was putting it gently. It had taken me so long to warm up to her, but when I finally did, I realized the caked make up, straight black hair, large brown eyes, and thin frame were all a front, because once you got past the bitchy exterior, there was a fun sassy girl with a wild side.

"Yea. I guess I am." I nodded my head.

"Damn girl! " Ryan's voice was caught in a whisper. He looked at Sam, who gave a small smile in return. I knew he wanted to ask Sam what happened, but for once, he didn't blurt out the first thoughts that came into his head, and I was grateful for his self control.

"How... How are you? Are you alright?" Becky's genuine need to take care of me was back in an instant, taking it's place as though there had never been a break in time. When we were all students at Stanford, I was overprotected at all times by either Becky or Sam. Her motherly care warmed my heart and I felt much happier than I had in months.

"I'm fine. I'm fine.' I assured her of my state of being. I sighed and took a deep breath. 'It's a long story."

"Jess, I'm not letting you out of my sight until you tell me everything." Ryan's voice was dead serious. I smiled softly and turned to Sam and Dean, trying to figure out the next step. Dean was looking at Sam, waiting for him to make the final decision. Sam looked at our friends, looked at me, then looked back at Dean. After a small sigh, he turned to Ryan.

"Let's find some place where we can sit and talk."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the seven of us were seated in the small diner close to campus and our motel. Introductions had been made, so everyone was comfortable with each other. We were seated in a corner booth. I sat in a chair at the head of the table. The others sat on the cushiony bench. Sam sat closest to me at the end of the bench. Dean was seated in the same place as Sam on my other side.

Our waitress arrived with water in glasses, each with a lemon clinging to their rims. Until she arrived we had sat in silence. Carrie, Anna, Becky, Ryan, and Dean ordered food. I was too nervous to eat, and I could tell Sam was too. But, before the waitress left, Sam ordered a vanilla milkshake. Once she left with or orders, Sam leaned over near my ear.

"I remember your favorites too." His voice whispered in my ear, and my nerves died down, and I knew in an instant that no matter what, we'd get through this.

"You better start talkin' girl. I wanna hear what the hell happened before my burger gets here." Ryan was never very patient. I could feel all the eyes at the table glued to my face. Moment of truth.

"I don't even know where to begin."

"Just start at the beginning. Start at the fire. What happened?" Carrie was still as demanding as ever. I sighed, remembering that night. There was no way I could tell them the truth. There wasn't a chance in hell any of them would believe me. If I was in their position, I wouldn't believe me.

"That night, the fire... I don't know how it got started. I made cookies for Sam, then I jumped in the shower. I don't remember what happened after that." Thinking quickly, I took a plot line from a Lifetime movie I had watched on tv once when I was bored.

"I woke up in a hospital a few days later. When I finally came around, I couldn't remember what had happened, where I was, or who I was. The doctors called it amnesia. They assumed I got it after hitting my head on the side of the shower. They said I might have passed out from the smoke. Apparently the firemen found me when they first went in. They got me in an ambulance quickly and since the hospital was swarmed with emergency patients, I got jumbled up in the chaos and they lost my ID."

"Shit.... God. What did you do? I mean, you couldn't remember anything?"

"I remembered nothing at first, but details slowly came back to me as I recovered. A nurse who helped my case gave me a place to stay and a job at a local diner until I could get back my lost memories.' Okay, so this was the exact plot from the movie. I'm not a fast thinker. Yes, it's a little more dramatic than I originally intended it to be, but at this point, I was sure they'd believe anything I said. 'I was there for about two years, working in San Jose. Carol, the nurse, gave me a nice set up and I was moving on with my life... you know, starting over."

I smiled at Sam, deciding to bring him into my story. He looked anxious at my smile and I knew he was dreading chirping in.

"Then Sam and Dean came in. I walked over to their table to get their order, and bam! It was like I had hit a cement wall or something. Memories came back to me like that, and I remembered everything. I nearly broke down then and there."

I waited for Sam to tell his side, but the longer the silence went on, the more I doubted he would do it. We kind of just stared at each other and waited. Awkward. Very awkward.

"Well, Sammy recognized Jess, and there was a huge reunion. She remembered and he was happy.' Dean filled in the neccessary bits, but of course, it was in traditional Dean style. 'Long story short, we nabbed Jess, took her to see her parents..."

"Who, of course, weren't in the country." During my stay, I had told people my parents were international business folk. The reason they never came around was because they were almost always abroad. I played the abandoned child card well, and my friends never asked any questions.

"Right. No parents.' Dean looked at me with purpose. Clearly, he wasn't too pleased that I interrupted him. 'So, we drove from there to here. We're hoping this place will spark some more memories out of amnesia girl over here."

Thank God the waitress reappeared at that moment, carrying our trays of food. Once I was handed the milkshake, I took a long sip, sucking in the cold thick blended ice cream that froze my mouth. The liquid felt good against my parched throat. Once I swallowed the creamy goodness in my mouth, I decided to put an end to this dramatic story I had weaved.

"Well, here we are. We just got into town today. We were just finishing up a nice walk when we ran into you guys."

"Yea. I was planning on calling you guys tomorrow. I figured I'd give Jess a day to settle in. But this turned out better." Sam had a talent for keeping his voice so calm and even. I smiled softly at my former lover, thanking him for contributing. God help me, I still loved him.

There was a long silence as Sam and I looked at each other. We both had a little goofy smile on our face, like we had just shared a private joke that no one else would be able to understand. It took us a moment, but we did finally realize that the rest of the group were looking at us as well. A small smile was on everyone's face (except of course for Dean, who looked like he might vomit) and I knew that had caught our private moment. Blushing, we both looked away and pretended that small second hadn't happened. I cleared my throat and turned to look at the friends I had been missing since that horrible day.

"So... what have I missed? Tell me everything!" Those words were all I needed to transfer the attention away from me and Sam. Carrie, Anna, Ryan, and Becky all launched into stories and started talking at once, each trying to speak over the others. I laughed out loud. Some things never change.

**Hey Guys! I hope this chapter is okay. It turned out differently then I originally planned it to be. I'm sorry it's not longer, but I wanted to post another one as soon as possible. Look forward to the next chapter.... Ruby's about to make an appearance (brunette version, not the blonde!). **

**Please Please review!!!!**

**Thank you to GilbertDrone328, BookWoorm35, and Immortalwizardpirateelf-fan. You guys are great and I love your support Thank you!!**


	18. Chapter 18: Expect the Unexpected

Chapter 18: Expect the Unexpected

**Hey Guys! I'm sorry this is so late! I have been studying uber uber hard at university, so getting this up has taken a bit longer than I had hoped. I just wanted to explain a quick thing, then I'll bugger off and let you get to reading.**

**I set this story has no specific part in any of the seasons. The yellow eyed demon is still alive, and Ruby is the brunette version. Castille stills comes to them and it's only been about 2 or 3 years since the fire in the apartment. Just thought I'd let you know where my head was at.**

Chapter 18: Expect the Unexpected

**Sam's POV**

God, she's beautiful. Sitting there, sipping her milkshake, she's breathtaking. I had missed her so much. Ever since that night, the fire, I had dreamed of her almost every night. I dreamed of her unruly curled hair. Those bug blue eyes that always told me exactly what she was thinking without ever opening her mouth. Oh, and those lips. I had found a safe sanctuary whenever my lips were attached to hers. I swear, I would let Dean call me "bitch" or "Sammy" for the rest of my life, if only I could taste her precious lips one more time.

Her body glowed. It was smooth and soft, exactly how I remembered it. Her voice was the sweetest sound I had ever heard. I couldn't believe how much I had missed her. Back then I was convinced that she was my soulmate, the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I had wanted her so badly back then. I would have done anything for her; my only desire was to make her happy. I just wanted to be the one to put that beautiful smile on her face.

I thought, after a while, I would get over her. I would stop feeling the ache and pain that tugged at my heart and haunted my dreams. I thought... I thought I would eventually move on. I had been with other women since her death, but they all blurred together, a snow storm of replacements for the real thing. I guess the whole moving on thing wasn't in the cards for me. Just looking at her, my heart filled with love, passion, desire, and everything else that it had been made of when I was last with my girl.

I wanted to reach over, sweep her into my arms and hold her, swearing never to let her go ever again. My arms ached for her. But I can't. There was so much I still don't know. It was too hard to get the idea of her being alive, back in my life, wrapped around my head, let alone understand that she was an immortal demonic toy thing. I can't handle this, not now. So, I kept my distance, gradually letting this... this reincarnated Jessica into my life. Did I still have a place for her? My head screamed, "No! She's demonic!", but my heart... my heart wanted her. I wanted her.

I guess I had zoned out, looking at the center of the diner table. With all these things in my head, how could I not? I was focused completely on my spot on the table, when the angelic voice I had heard a thousand times in my head, and a thousand times before that, called me back to reality.

"Sam?"

**Jessica's POV**

Once the group calmed down a bit, I learned a lot about what had happened after I had.... well "died".

Becky had graduated and gone home. I guess she had met up with Dean and Sam after there was a situation with her brother. Sam had told her about him and Dean and their hunting jobs. Luckily, she didn't seem give on to my situation being supernatural away. If she suspected anything, she said nothing.

My best friend was a teacher now. Becky taught fifth grade in Palo Alto. Apparently, she was engaged to her long time boyfriend Nick. He had proposed while they were on vacation in Cabo San Lucas. The wedding was coming up in about six months. I couldn't help but being jealous of her.

One drunken night in our apartment, Becky and I (as well as all our other friends) made a hundred dollar bet that Sam and I would be married long before Nick ever got up the courage to ask her. She was happy, and she deserved it. I still couldn't help but turn green with envy. I wanted it to be me. The beautiful ring, the promise of a lifetime. I had dreamed of it for so long, and I could still see it. But, every dream that passed through had Sam, and I think... I lost him.

Ryan went on, yammering about this chick and that chick. He had graduated, but stuck around Stanford for grad school. He was just as bad as Dean in the romance department. Taking girls into his bed left and right. That is how we met Anna and Carrie. Ryan had tried to sweep them both into his web, but he was unsuccessful, as he tried to pick them up at the same time.

By the time both Becky and Ryan had told us their tales from our missing time together, I was tired so I yawned. Though I tried to stifle it, I saw the smile Sam had on his lips. He shared and look with Dean, and I knew they were both laughing on the inside. I ignored them, trying to focus on the conversation instead. It was only a few minutes later that I yawned yet again!

This time, my yawn did not go undetected. Becky laughed, as did Carrie and Anna. Ryan snorted in his water as he tried to take a sip, which caused everyone else to break out into laughter. I laughed as well, laughing until my stomach ached. As I came down from my laughing high, I looked over and saw Sam. My Sam. He looked so, happy. Ryan had always pushed us into laughing fits like this, and every time, I would always look over at Sam and see him, smiling, and laughing. It was a beautiful sight. I smiled, watching him. He looked exactly the same, and it felt like just yesterday we were sitting at our table in our apartment, laughing at yet another ridiculous Ryan joke as we hosted our friends over. He noticed me looking at him. He stopped slowed his laughter down but kept the smile on his face.

Our eyes stayed locked, smiling as wide as our lips. I was so deeply entrapped in his beautiful eyes, that I didn't notice his hand sliding towards mine on the table top. He slipped his warm and firm hand over mine and lightly bent his fingers to hold mine. I bent mine slightly, holding his own hand as softly as I could. The whole act was in slow motion for me, and when I looked down, my smile deepen, knowing he was touching me once again. Flesh on flesh. When I switched my gaze from our intertwining hands to his shining eyes, the confusion, anger, frustrated stare I had come back to was gone. In it's place was a look of adoration, certainty, and most importantly, a look of love. It was the same look I had received all four years at Stanford, a look I thought I would never see again. We held our intense gaze until we were abruptly interrupted.

"Ugh. Ugh. Awkward. Ugh." Dean and his stupid word coughs. He coughed loud enough to tear my eyes away from Sam and his from mine. We looked back to him, confused by him immaturity. Really? An awkward cough? Taken from the loser cough? I reminded myself to ask Castiel why the hell would he help someone so immature and childish. He's 28! I was wrong in thinking he might actually act like a man. Clearly, Dean would always and forever be 13.

Dean cleared his throat and looked down at something on the table. After looking there, his gaze went straight to our friends seated across from us, then to us, and then back to the table top near us. Sam and I followed his gaze. Carrie, Anna, Becky and Ryan were all looking at us with a wide eyed look that they clearly were trying to hide. I looked next to Sam and saw him looking at me. Confusion was written in his eyes as well. We took our finally tour of the Dean stare-a-thon and looked to the table before us. It was our hands.

Our hands! Intertwined and softly together. OUR HANDS! Sam and I both pulled apart as though the other had suddenly turned into a scalding red iron prod. I ducked my hand onto my lap, and looked down. My cheeks heated up, and I knew I was blushing. The heat spread from my cheeks to my ears, and I knew I was a red as can be.

The table was silent for a moment. For once, Dean hit the nail right when he said awkward. Our hushed moment was saved when our waitress came over and handed us all a check. Dutifully, we paid and got up to leave. Once we were out the door, the scene seemed to have been forgotten as we prepared for a good bye.

"We're gonna see you tomorrow, right?' Anna was whiney but always so sweet. 'Because... this can't be like before"

"You're in town for a while, right?" Carrie sounded distressed.

I gave a tight closed mouth smile. I gave her a short hug, and then offered the same to Anna.

"I think so.' I giggled, tears shining from my eyes. I never thought I'd be this happy, this excited to see my friends again. I had hoped to see them again, but honestly, I didn't think I would. We didn't know how long we would be in Palo Alto. I suppose it would be for as long as it took to keep Sam safe. With any hope, this meant I would be able to spend time with our friends. My friends.

"A bunch of the old group is getting together tomorrow night. You guys should come." Becky's confidence gave me comfort. I hugged her tight. Over her shoulder, I could see Anna and Carrie saying a flirty goodbye to Dean while Ryan and Sam hacked around. Pulling away from Becky, we smiled, just happy to be in each others presence.

"Whose coming?" Sam was never the big party kind of guy, but I knew he wanted to see all our friends.

"Man, everyone. Nick, Ian, Lauren, Robin, Jen, and Kate.' Ryan was elbowing Sam in the stomach. Giving him a look that said we had no choice but to show up. 'Oh....and us too." Typical Ryan waiting to remember the people he's with until the last minute.

"Obviously." Anna rolled her eyes. Carrie just giggled. Becky just looked at me and mouthed the word obviously, making fun of Anna's sour attitude.

"More chicks?' Dean gave a side cocky grin. We ALL knew what was on his mind. Ryan returned his smile and gave him a curt nod. They both gave sneaky sly laughs and Sam just shook his head. 'Oh, we wouldn't miss it for the world."

Becky and I rolled our eyes. Boys will be boys. Becky suddenly reached down with her hand and held mine.

"Jess...would you stay with me tonight?' She was looking at me, and I could see that it to was too hard to say goodbye as well. I felt safe, happy, and welcomed with Becky. If I went home with Sam and Dean, there would be silence, awkward, and uncomfortable silence. I would lay there, feeling like I don't belong, feeling the tension our situation created. For one night, I just... I just wanted to forget the demon crap and be me, Jessica. I wanted this so bad, and I wasn't going to let a chance like this get by me. I nodded. 'So that's a yes?"

"Yea." I smiled and hugged her again.

"Hey Sam!' Becky yelled over the conversation, trying to capture his attention. He turned to look at her. 'I'm stealing your girlfriend for the night!" With that, she swung an arm around my waist and we turned to walk away. She yelled to call her cell if they needed us.

I suddenly wished I could have gone back to the motel with them, when I turned to look back. Sam was staring at me, his body turned sideways, his head turned to look at me. There was a look on his face, but I couldn't read it's meaning.

Ryan, Anna, and Carrie said their goodbyes and followed us down the street after promising to call with more information about our get together tomorrow. We walked away, Leaving Sam and Dean in the middle of the street, watching us head off into normalcy.

* * *

I woke up the next day at 3. No, not 3 am. 3 pm. Becky said she didn't want to wake me up. She thought I needed the sleep, and I guess I really did. I felt rested and relaxed, not having to put up a tough exterior for the boys.

We hadn't done much the night before. After arriving at Becky's, Ryan, Anna, Carrie, Becky, and I all stayed up drinking a bottle of smooth crisp white wine and talking on the living room floor. One by one the group departed. It was hard to say goodbye, but I knew I would be seeing them tomorrow.

Once they were gone, Becky and I opened up another bottle. We drank and painted our nails and toenails while reminiscing about our Stanford days. By the time Becky had bright pink nails and I had a deep dark purple, we both were so exhausted. We didn't even bother cleaning up. Becky's big king sized bed was calling to us, a siren amongst the rocks, drawing us in. She gave me some sweats to wear before I went and changed in the bathroom. I kept my white wife beater on splashed water on my face before returning to her room.

Becky was on her phone, saying goodnight to Nick. It was so sweet, such a cute conversation. I missed the days when Sam and I used to be that couple. The couple where being apart for one night was so hard that we had to make it up by being disgustingly sweet over the phone.

Having changed into her pajamas, Becky pointed to the bed while still on the phone. She mouthed for me to hop in while she went and used her bathroom. I wandered over to the bed after she left and I pulled down the soft cotton down comforter. Her window was open, sending a soothing breeze into the room. I crawled into her pillow soft bed and once my head had hit the pillow, I was off somewhere dreaming.

When I finally did wake up, Becky urged me into the shower after feeding me a generous bowl of Captain Crunch. She left clothes on the counter for me to wear. Nothing fancy, just a white shirt and jeans. I washed then changed, and by the time I was clean and fresh, Becky was standing by the door, purse in hand, and demanding that we needed to head to the outlets to buy me some new clothes.

And, just like old times, I smiled and let her drag me into shop after shop. I've never been the type of girl to love shopping. Target was always my store of choice. But not Becky. Designer this and runway that, she was a fashion diva. Her parents had the money to burn, and she sure did light fire unlike anyone I had ever seen.

25 stores and two food court trips later, I was being dropped off at the motel. I was exhausted, even after sleeping so much the night before. But hey, you'd be exhausted too if you shopped with Becky for two hours straight!

I exited the car at 6:30 with seven new outfits, all decked out in shoes and accessories. Everything a girl could ever want. Luckily, I was able to carry up the eight bags on my own. Opening the door was even more of a challenge, and after my fourth try, Dean finally opened the door so fast that I dropped three of my bags that were already slipping from my fingers.

"Did you rob every store in town?" Sarcasm seemed to be Dean's only tone of voice. I was not amused, choosing instead to ignore the older Winchester and take my bags over to the couch. I had to push and stack bags to make room for my body on the couch. Once I had, I sat down with a huff as Dean watched with his arms crossed over his chest watching me.

The bathroom door opened suddenly, and Sam emerged in a green rolled up flannel and jeans, hair sopping wet as he tried to dry his with a towel. He took one look at the couch, shook his head with a laugh.

"Becky?"

"Becky." My voice was deadpan. I was too tired for emotion. I laid my head back and closed my eyes.

"Shower's yours, Jess.' I looked up to see Dean in front of me. He was wearing a black rolled up shirt and jeans. His white shirt was visible beneath the opened buttons along the collar. His hair was drying, telling me he too had already showered. I nodded, acknowledging his comment. He moved on to grabbing a magazine and sitting at the kitchenette's dining table. Dean opened the cover and flipped through a few pages before looking at Sam. 'Dude. Green? Seriously? You match the freakin' room."

"Jerk."

"Bitch." Dean always had to have the last word. Both boys shook their heads and continued with what they were doing.

I got up, grabbed one of my enormous shopping bags, and slipped into the bathroom. After locking the door and undressing, I took my second shower of the day. Taking my time to wash my hair and body, I relaxed as best I could. I was determined to have a good night. No thinking of business, demons, or future issues. Tonight was going to be fun.

After I finished and dried myself, I slipped on a brand new lacy red bra and matching panties. The red flushed against my pale skin and I felt very sexy. I put on a pair of light denim cut off shorts. They ended mid thigh and were made to look frayed and worn. I had thought they were too short in the store, but now I saw they actually looked good. They weren't very loose, but that only made my thighs look better.

Next came a black V neck shirt that was a little too big for me. Becky said if I was wearing tight shorts I needed a slightly bigger shirt. A medium instead of a small was what she chose and I followed her instruction. It was big, giving me space, but I had always hated shirts that clung to my skin. Perfect choice. I then pulled out a pair of black cowboy boots that matched my shirt. They were scoffed and worn, certainly not Becky's choice. But, when I saw them in the window of the thrift shop, I had to have them. They rode up to my mid calf, and completed the outfit and suited my style completely.

I dried my hair and put the messy spiral curls into a secure but loose bun at the nape of my neck. Naturally, curls cascaded from my head when they didn't fit into the knot. My face was farmed by light blonde curls, and a few pieces around my ears fell down as well. Messy yet cute. I took off the black ribbon from the Juicy shopping bag (it had acted as a handle) and I tied it around the top of my head, making a headband. With the bow tucked under my bun, I was left was a soft but cute Grecian style. Back at Stanford, when my hair wasn't down, I wore it just like this.

I finally took out the smallest bag of items that Becky had purchased for me that day. It was from Bare Essentials, my favorite makeup store. I powdered my face with a base, put a bit of bronzer on and then took a bit of NARS Orgasm blush to my cheeks. It was light, and I felt like I was wearing no makeup at all. Next came the black sheer eye shadow, giving me a very very subtle smokey eye look, along with black mascara to make my already long eyelashes stand out and gave warmth to my eyes. I loved the black mascara on my lashes, the sexy feeling it gave me was worth the fifteen dollars I had allowed Becky to spend on it. To top it all off, I smeared on some Cherry Chapstick. My lips were already rosy and pink, so the shimmer of the chapstick was all my lips needed.

Taking a moment to approve of my look, I felt proud and pretty again. I felt like the Jessica I wanted to be, not the one whose life I was forced to live. I cleaned up a bit and put everything back into the shopping bag. I emerged from the bathroom to have Dean and Sam stare at me.

I looked down, shyly smiling as Dean whistled at my entrance. I saw Sam shoot him a warning look, but Dean just shrugged it off. Sam and I made eye contact, but we both looked away before either one of us could say something. I walked passed where the boys were sitting on the beds and put my bag amongst the others on the couch. Turning to face the door, I slipped on the necklace that I bought and a few new bracelets. The dark purple nail polish was a great touch, and I admired the color as I slowly slipped the three rings I always wore onto my fingers. It was as the third one encircled my finger that I sensed the presence behind me.

The feeling wasn't coming from Sam or Dean, and I knew it wasn't Castiel. He would have announced himself. I took a breath in and focused on the presence. It only took me half a second to identify the presence. I stood up straight, keeping my hands to my sides. I didn't bother turning around; I recognized the presence behind me. I'd recognize that energy from anywhere. It was the last person I ever expected to see.

"Well, well, well.' The voice was sarcastic, calm, but edged with annoyance. 'Will you look at what the cat dragged in."

I didn't turn or give any clue that I recognized the voice. I kept my body calm, refusing to acknowledge any feeling I may have had; good or bad. Even though this was an unexpected this visit, I should have known better. I should have expected this moment. The words sank in and, without moving, I replied with an equally annoyed and disdain filled tone.

"Ruby."


	19. Chapter 19: Slap Heard 'Round the Room

Chapter 19: The Slap Heard 'Round the Room

"Ruby."

I slowly turned to look into the face of a brunette girl, roughly around my age. Even though it wasn't her body, I could see the demon's soul shining through her eyes. I faced her and stood with confidence, my arms tense at my side.

"Hello, Jessica.' She stood there in jeans, a tight red shirt, and black jacket. Her arms were folded across her chest and she looked every bit tense as I was. 'Long time, no see." She stood next to Sam and Dean, and I knew they felt the intensity and mutual dislike we had for each other. Arms still folded, she took a few steps towards me. She looked pissed, annoyed, and livid. Absolutely livid.

"I'd say 'Welcome home', but I think we both know that'd be a lie, since...' She stopped less then a foot from my face. 'Since, we both know you're not wanted here."

I stood my ground and said nothing. We looked each other dead in the eye, an intense staring competition taking place in the middle of the small motel room. I could sense Sam and Dean watching us, looking back and fourth between us.

"So...I, uh,' Dean chuckled as he continued to glance between me and Ruby. 'I'm guessing you two know each other?" The staring continued, until I broke away to answer his question. Sam was caught up in the staring war, unable to blink for fear of what would happen in the moment he shut his eyes.

"Yea. We do." I turned to face the guys, and then slid over to the window, folded my arms across my chest. I continued to watch her from across the room, refusing to let my guard down.

"Oh, we go way back.' Ruby had unfolded her arms and slowly paced a few steps to the side, her eyes continually glued to mine. 'I'm surprised you remembered me, Jess. It's been, what?..... Like a century since I've seen you? I thought your memory would have gotten fuzzy while you were down in Hell."

In that moment, I just wanted my fist to connect with her face and wipe the twisted smirk her lips had created. I couldn't forget my recent trip to hell, no more than I could forget about Ruby. She had been the first one to torture me upon my return to Hell. She left though, shortly after, and another demon had come and taken her place. And though I could never tell anyone, not even Castille, Dean had been one of those torturers for me. He was good at it too. I knew Dean didn't remember, and I wanted to keep it that way. Hell is no place to have memories from.

Rather then resort to a violent outburst, I kept my growing temper in check and said nothing, knowing that my silence would only piss her off even more than I already had.

"Ruby, you and Jess.... How do you guys know each other?" Sam's voice was clear but shaky. I think he had an idea of how we knew each other but he had asked Ruby, not me, to explain. And though she would find someway to twist it into making me look evil, I was too caught up in my silence to care.

"Funny you should ask, Sam.' Ruby continued to pace, her hands folded across her chest. I slid mine into the pockets of my jeans, trying to restrain the need to hit her. 'You do know that your ex-girlfriend here is a demon? Right?" The silence answered for us all. I looked down, still feeling ashamed that I had been lying to the one and only person that I had ever loved.

"I take that as a yes.' A smile crossed Ruby's face, smirking in her victory of making me feel as small as possible. 'Well, this lying little bitch happens to be the reason I got sent to Hell for 100 years when I first became a demon."

I rolled my eyes. Yes, I felt bad for sending Ruby to Hell, but she knew it would happen when we met. She knew what she was getting into when she turned.

* * *

Ruby became a demon around the middle of the 18th century; I believe around 1765. She had been one of my charges, one of the kids I was sent to study. When the demon came to see and she didn't meet his expectations, he offered her immortality, a job just like mine. Unlike me, she accepted. She embraced the night and the evil. Ruby enjoyed it, and I could see that she still did. Being bad, killing, fighting, it was all Ruby's thing. And she did it well.

Ruby has always has a flair for the dramatic. When in doubt, make it bigger, bloodier, and uglier. Her temper always seemed to get the best of her, and one night, she pushed it too far. The kid she was supposed to be watching figured out what she was doing. Being subtle never was something she could do. Once he found out, our demon lord showed up and said that the only way to handle the situation was to kill him.

I was against it. He was a child, no more than eleven or so. I assumed the demon would take care of it, like he did every time, but Ruby stepped up, asked if she could "have the honors". I was beyond disgusted. With permission, she not only killed the boy but slaughtered his entire family. I showed up just as she was finishing up the father, the last one to die.

I begged her to stop, to end his pain and suffering, but she just laughed. I finally intervened, and sent her to Hell with an exorcism that I knew. The father died two days later, though I did my best to heal him.

Once Ruby got out, she came after me, tried to send me to Hell. Lucky for me, our demon kept us separated, far apart. Our paths still crossed, and when they did, it never went ended well. Usually, both of us were covered in blood and had we been human, we'd be long dead after the first punch. As demons (though I hated to call myself that), we were a lot stronger than any normal human and we could survive pretty much anything.

* * *

"Don't you dare roll your eyes at me, bitch!" Ruby came at me, pointing her finger in my face. I could see her temper rising, boiling up from a simple eye roll. She stalked over to me, and I uncrossed my arms and faced her. I've never turned away from a challenge; I wasn't about to start now.

Once she was directly in front of me, we just stood there, staring. She glared me down, anger having taken over her face. I looked back at her, trying hard to not let her see the anger I felt for her. I didn't want her here. I didn't want her anywhere near me, or Sam. Especially Sam.

To make matters worse, once she was close to me, I caught a familiar scent as I breathed. I knew that scent, I would know it anywhere. It was faint, but there. The smell of old spice after shave, mixed with a natural soft boy smell. The smell was Sam. For four years I had loved that scent, loving how after a nap in his sweater, or a hug, a kiss but especially after making love, I would smell just like him.

You'd think I was crazy for noticing Sam's scent, as he was standing in the room. But the aroma wasn't coming from him. Just because I'm part demon, doesn't mean I have a super smelling power. Taking the air in again, I knew for certain it wasn't coming from Sam. Another whiff told me it was coming from someone...someone else.

Ruby.

Another breath in told me that it was Ruby that smelled like Sam. He was on her, permeating off her skin. That smell, it was a scent I was familiar with; I used to smell just like that. Her face didn't reveal anything, but her eyes said enough. I looked her up and down, taking in all that was hitting me with as much gusto as a professionally pitched fastball. My stomach felt gutted, my insides rejecting my body.

I looked at Sam behind her, wanting to be assured that my fears were wrong. He was looking at me, a questioning stare. He followed my gaze to Ruby, then bounced back to me immediately. I made a face, as I looked back and forth between the two of them. I looked closer at them, especially as they looked at each other. Clearly they were hiding something from me, and I just wanted my idea of their secret to be wrong. I looked back at Sam to see him look sheepishly at the ground, avoiding my eyes. I continued to look, waiting for him to meet my stare.

He finally looked at me, his eyes watering and the guilty expression on his face nearly broke my heart. My fears confirmed.

Ruby and Sam. Sam and Ruby. I felt sick inside, my body shuddering every organ inside me. Just the very thought of it.... Them. Together.

His hands touching her....My brain stopped working.

Her, running her hands up and down his skin. My breath shortened.

Their lips meeting, exchanging breath on each other's lips. I stopped breathing entirely.

Them together. Sam and Ruby.... Ruby touching Sam. My Sam? Shoot me now, please.

I couldn't help but let the water well up in my eyes. I just looked at Sam, his eyes in the same condition as mine. I could feel my heart break in half, but I kept reminding myself that he was not mine. He's not my Sam. Not anymore.

I took a few moments to let it all sink in. I knew I couldn't hold what they had done against him, but that didn't stop the tears from falling. I dropped my eyes from Sam's, and quickly wiped away my own tears. I composed myself with a few deep breaths and then looked up to face Ruby.

There was a stinging sensation on my cheek when I looked up at her. My face was forced to it's side as the blow struck the side of my face. The slap echoed and I felt the blood rush immediately to my attacked cheek. I wasn't angry, but I did immediately turn to face her.

I didn't even get a good look at her, because the moment I turned, I was met with a hard blow that projected a thumping clud that could be heard in every corner of the silent room. The sound made the slap sound like a whisper. I heard my jaw crack as my head was twisted towards the ground. Once it stopped swinging, I brought my hand up my throbbing face.

It was between the moment of the punch and feeling the sting on my skin that I snapped. She punched me. That bitch punched me! My eyes went black with rage the demon within me was unleashed.

Oh, it was so on.


	20. Chapter 20: Cat Fight

**Hey guys! I am so sorry it's been so long since my last post! A million things have happened since I last posted. Spring break, breaking up with my boyfriend, getting back together with my boyfriend, my mum getting cancer, me flying back and forth from CA to London.... It's been hectic! So here's another chapter. And I'm working on the next, which should come this time next week (or sooner!). So I am so sorry! Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

Chapter 20: Cat Fight

I kept my head turned down to the ground as the anger and rage filled my body. The pain spread through me, acting as the flame that lit the mad oil, sending a fire through my veins. The rational part of my brain turned off, leaving the emotional and pissed off side in control.

Hitting me once (if you could call the slap that) was dumb. Hitting me twice? That was just plain stupid. Ruby was practically screaming for a lesson in smarts. Punching me? Really? Could she be any stupider? When I turned up and faced her, Ruby's fists were balled up, ready for a fight.

Yes was the answer to my question. Yes, she can be even stupider. Wow. And they say blondes are the dumb ones.

As we stared each other down, out of the corner of my eye I notice Sam and Dean slowly look at each other and back up with the speed of a sloth. Normally, it would kill me to see Sam cringe away from me. It would literally break my heart. But here, at this moment, I was too pissed to even care.

My focus was devoted to the brunette before me, knowing she was about to enter a world of pain. As we stared, I was sitting there in my head, trying to figure out how much of a lesson she needed to be taught. Would a ass-whopping simply do? Or should I go all out and send this bitch back to Hell? I felt angry enough to do it too.

It took a few moments of dead silence for either one of us to act. Ruby was the one to make the first move. Pulling her right fist back behind her head, she thrust her fist towards me, aiming for my face. With her strength, having already hit me, my face would break, possibly my jaw.

Luckily, I'm a hell of a lot faster then her. Right before her fist connected with my flesh, I put my hand up and grabbed her fist. I crunched down, holding on as tight as I could, feeling her hand break under my grip. Pain spread across her face, but it was replaced quickly with shock as I lifted her hand up and spun her around. To define it, we had a Tarantino moment. I lifted her entire body, and spun it around, twisting her enough to make her smash her into the coffee table that shattered under her body.

Her reaction was fast because as soon as she hit the ground on her back, her head towards me, she spun around and kicked my feet out from underneath me. I landed with a thud and only a split second later, Ruby was kneeling above me, the broken coffee tables wooden leg raised above her head. As she brought it down to bash me with it, I punched her in the nose and rolled over.

Getting to my feet, Ruby did the same. Blood was pouring from her nose and I knew I broke it. She came at me with a punch, and I took it in the gut. Once more she punched my stomach and I took it, grateful for the abs I had developed from working out all the time.

After I had taken a few more blows to the gut, I ducked when she attempted to hit me again. Squatting down on the ground as she missed, I swung my leg out, hitting her in the knees and causing her to fall flat on her ass. I smirked as she landed but I wasn't prepared for her to use her hands to arch her back and jump to her feet again so quickly, and then to punch me in the jaw, at the corner of my mouth.

I felt the blood drop down my chin, tasting the salty and iron thick fluid that also invaded my mouth. I turned to look at her again, and was rewarded with a blow to the other side of my face. This time, the punch didn't bring blood to my mouth, but it still rendered me in shock. I took another and then another. Before a fifth could be dealt, words momentarily delayed us.

"Damn! Cat fight!' Leave it to Dean to make a battle of anger and hate into a porno description. 'Somebody bust out the popcorn!"

"Dean..." Ruby's voice was quiet but stern. It'd be the only warning he'd get from her. She went to strike me again, but I blocked the punch this time with my forearm. Gripping her wrist tightly, I wound her arm around, twisting until it was in a painful position behind her back.

"God, that's just hot." Ruby and I ignored him. He made a hmmmm sound, one that you expect creepy truck drivers to make when you stop at a deserted gas station and you leave your car to pay for gas.

"Dean..." I warned him through gritted teeth. I was pissed already and his comments weren't making it any better. Unfortunately, by responding to him, Ruby was able to elbow me in the stomach and swing her arm around to punch me in the chest.

On any other girl, it'd hurt like a bitch. I mean, being punched in the boob? Well that's just painful. Especially the morning after. But, lucky for me, I've always been a small girl with very small breasts. So that punch? Yea, it didn't phase me much. I came right back at her and head-butted Ruby twice, sending her back flat to the ground.

I smiled and she kicked me in the knee, causing me to fall on top of her. Gripping her forearms as she gripped mine, we rolled a little, fighting for the advantage.

"This is so turning me on.' Ugh! Dean! 'Is it wrong that this is turning me on? 'Cause, I am so turned on right now. Like really..."

"DEAN! SHUT UP!" This time, it wasn't just me. Ruby and Sam yelled at him to at the same time. He got a wide eyed look, but I didn't see what happened next since I was punched in the face. I rolled off her, landing on the ground. I did the same move Ruby pulled earlier by using my arms to leap up into my feet. When I finally stood up, she was up on her feet as well. I swung and punched her in the stomach. She reacted face and hit me in the stomach as well.

Fists kept flying in between kicks and after another three minutes of trying to knock each other around, I had finally had enough. I was done fighting. I was done with it. Screw being good, I just wanted to end it all.

I rolled onto the floor in a somersault, landing right before where Sam stood. I leaper up, getting to my feet with grace. I stood about an inch from Sam and his face, so I could feel his breath warm up my face. Normally, I would have basked in his presence. Feeling him near me, it had been so long. But this was neither the time nor the place to be thinking of how much I wanted to be near my Sam.

Standing right in front of him, I whipped my arm around to his back. I reached beneath his jacket and pulled out the gun that was tucked away in the back of his jeans. The hilt was sticking out, so with all haste, I whipped it out from its place in the waist band of his jeans and turned to face Ruby. This action took all of a second.

Apparently, Ruby had the same idea as I did. When I turned, I had my arm extended all the way out, pointing the gun straight at her face. She was in the exact same position as I was. She held the gun that Dean had sat on the top of the dresser, and it was less then ten feet away from my face.

Both of our guns were cocked, ready to be used. The adrenaline rush was pounding in my system and the blood in my veins coursed, like a fire running along a path of gasoline.

Neither one of us were ready to let go. I couldn't shoot at her and she felt the same. I knew we were both stubborn, unrelenting in our positions. Neither of us would give in and I felt the tension circulate in the room.

The moment seem to last for hours and hours, though it was only a few seconds. It only ended with a flash of the brightest light I had ever seen. With that light, both Ruby and I knew we were busted.

* * *

**Hey guys. So again, I'm really really sorry about the delay. Been a crazy few weeks! I'll definitely update soon (sooner if you review!). Postings should be more regular now. Let me know what you think! xoxox Ash**


	21. Chapter 21: I Make No Promises

Chapter 21: I Make No Promises

**Sam's POV**

Ruby surprised me by showing up. Next thing I knew, she and Jess were trying to kill each other. The hits kept happening and happening, and Dean was getting really annoying with his social commentary. We all yelled at him. They were matched evenly, but then, out of nowhere, Jessica rolled in front of me and took my gun within a split second. Both of the girls were pointing guns in each other's faces.

They were so close. Both the safety's were off and the silence was deafening. My heart stopped, worried about who would fire first. I mean, Jessica just came back. I just got her back in my life. True, I didn't know how I was feeling or what I wanted to have happen with her, but she was here in front of me. Real, beautiful, and alive. I never thought I'd see her again. All I knew was that I didn't want to watch her die.

**Jessica's POV**

The bright light blinded me, taking away my ability to see Ruby or her gun. It grew brighter and brighter until, finally, at it's peak of shine, I saw an image flash before at the center of the light. Castile. The light died down and I could make his shape out of the dimming light, so I lowered my gun.

The light was more than half dimmed when I heard a loud pop and felt a fire seared through my torso. I looked up to see Ruby, her arm outstretched, holding a gun that was still smoking and a smirk stretched on the lower half of her face.

I dropped my gun and it clunked onto the floor. My hands lowered to my stomach and pushed over the center of it. Looking down I saw blood pour from my stomach and I watched as it fell, running down my legs, and into my boots. It finally hit me that I had been shot. My legs trembled, giving out from underneath me, and I fell to the ground.

I expected to hit the hard wood, but my shoulders were embraced by warm hands and I was lowered onto my back so my head lay on my catchers chest as he was on his knees. I looked up to see Sam holding me, tears shining in his eyes. The pain blazed through my body, and I felt each and every cell scream in agony.

I lay there, looking up at him. I felt Dean walk over next to me and crouch down. There was shouting around me. I could hear Castile yell at Ruby, who hadn't moved from her spot. My hearing was taken over the by deafening pain that roared through my veins. I blinked slowly, and when I looked back up, Castile was standing over me. I could feel the warm liquid seep out of my stomach. The smell of burnt flesh would have made my stomach sick had my guts not already filled with a indescribable pain.

My vision was clouding. Darkness was starting to enclose around my sight, slowly making the light smaller and smaller, until there was nothing at all. I felt my eyes glaze over, my muscles completely relaxed, and with a roll of my head, I died.

The first thing I noticed when I came to was the softness that lay beneath me. It took me a moment to realize that I was on the motel room's bed. I was surprised that it was comfortable, but then again, any bed was softer then the shaggy floor I had fallen on.

My ears became aware next. I heard voices around me, though it took a few moments to completely make out the exact words that were being used. The voices were soft, whispers in the background. I slowly opened my eyes, letting the brightness of the room into my sight little by little. The green room overwhelmed my eyes, but it helped remind me of where I was.

I moved my fingers, then my hands, making my way up to my neck. My legs moved too, and then I stretched out my core. There was no pain, not even a hint of it. Had I not been awake for it, I'd never had thought I had been shot. It felt like I had just woken up from an afternoon nap.

"She's awake.' Castile's voice came out in a gentle tone, aware to not startle me. 'Jessica?"

"I'm here.' My voice was a whisper, though I could have used my full voice. I was simply to tired to speak out. I slowly made my body sit up. I sat my core up, bringing my feet up a little. Someone had removed my boots, but they laid right next to the bed. I swung my legs over so they dangled from the side of the bed. My arms were straight, my hands resting on the side of the bed. I was slowly waking up. After taking a second to relax my muscles, I looked up into the worried faces of Sam and Castile. 'I'm fine."

"You're healed. Completely. Even though you technically 'died'. No bruising, cuts, blood or gun shot holes. You're healed.' Castile crossed his arms over his chest, giving me a look that had disappointment all over his face. He huffed his breath, and muttered under his breath. 'If you ask me, I should have left you a few bruises. Teach you a lesson."

"Hush, angel man.' Ruby was on the other side of the bed. I could feel the tension and her sharp stare even though my back was to her. 'We wouldn't wanna do anything to hurt that pretty face." Sarcasm leaked out of her tone.

I stood and walked to the mirror in the bathroom. There were no bruises or cuts, just as Castile promised. I looked exactly as I had when I first exited after getting ready. My makeup was perfect, my hair back and back in place. I looked down to my shirt. Even the bullet hole that should have left a gap in the shirt was gone. I was a good as new.

Turning to exit the door, I surveyed the damage. Ruby was fine, looking as refreshed as I was. The furniture was back in order, and the room was straightened. No one would ever be able to tell that a fight had taken place there. I leaned against the door jam, directing my attention to the four other individuals that inhabited the room. Both Sam and Dean had bewildered looks on their faces. Castile's was mixed with disappointment and impatience, and the smug glare I got from Ruby just annoyed the crap out of me.

"So. How long was I out for?" I tried to keep a calm temper.

"An hour. Give or take a few. Damn if you could have seen how fast you healed!' Dean looked to Sam in amazement. 'Dude! Imagine if we could do that! It'd be fuckin' awesome!"

All it took was that pissed off look from Sam to get his older yet shorter brother to shut up. Gotta appreciate the brotherly love. Castile stepped forward then, turning his head between Ruby and I, making the point clear to both of us.

"I hope you got that out of your systems.' I hung my head, embarrassed by my behavior. I shouldn't have let Ruby get the best of me. I knew better than that. I felt a blush creep across my face, and I became even more embarrassed then I was before. 'This will not happen again." His voice was final. Demanding and made the conclusion apparent to both of us, as we both nodded our heads in understanding.

It was just then that Sam's cell phone went off. Aqua's "Barbie Girl" echoed in the room. Ruby and I giggled as Dean had a smug goofy laugh on his face while Sam shot him a mad look.

"Bitch." Dean laughed loudly as Sam grabbed the phone and made to answer it.

"Jerk.' Dean stopped laughing but kept the goofy look on his face, trying to disguise it behind a mad glare. Sam smirked as he brought he cellular up to his ear. 'Hello?"

Whoever it was made him turn towards the door and talk softly as he walked to the corner. The rest of us stood there, bathing in the awkward silence that had fallen on us like rain on a cloudy day. It was Sam's laugh and a promise, coming out as 'very soon', that turned back our attention to him.

"Becky.' He stated as he closed his phone and stuck it in one of the front pockets of his jeans. He sighed and put his hands on his hips, a look of uncertainty on his face. 'We're supposed to meet them. In five."

I smirked, glancing back one more time in the mirror. Still looking like I had just finished getting ready, lucky for quick healing. I turned to face the room again.

"Well, looks like we should get going." I smiled, grabbed my leather jacket and headed to the door.

I walked into the bar in a huff. I was pissed and mad and anything to describe what anyone would feel if the bitch who had just shot you was tagging along on your reunion with friends.

Yea, that's right. Ruby had to come with us. I had been sitting in the car, waiting for them to leave, when Dean opened the door and Sam got in shot gun. I was relieved and ready to go, until the right side door opened, allowing a new changed Ruby to get in.

Her long black hair was still down and sleek. She now wore a medium wash pair of very distressed jeans. The denim was faded, but they fit her like a glove. Her red top had been replaced by a leopard print corset. It was like the ones we wore in the late nineteenth century. It was laces tightly, with a black ribbon in the back, and the clasps were centered in front. The top itself was tight, pushing her breasts up, causing her to heave for a breath. The top was slightly sweetheart shaped, but you could only tell if you stared at it for a while. And she made pretty damn certain that anyone she passed would focus on it.

Dean was admiring her assets in the rearview mirror. He let out a little whistle and a approving sigh, earning him a smack from Sam. Dean started the car and was about to leave, when Castile came over to the car, making Ruby and Dean roll down their windows.

"Please. If you can...' Castile said with a huff, his patience wearing thin on his sleeve. 'Try not to kill each other."

Dean and Sam both nodded their heads. Castile looked at me and, after a quick glance to Ruby, I nodded also. He then turned to Ruby, and she too nodded. Castile dipped his head, but he hadn't made a foot away from the car when Ruby decided to mouth off, once again.

"But,' She mumbled. 'I make _no_ promises."

With that, Dean started the car and began to pull out of the motel parking lot. I turned around to see Castile holding the bridge between his eyes, shaking his head. I guess he heard her.


	22. Chapter 22: For Old Times Sake

Chapter 22: For Old Times Sake

Like I said, I walked into the bar in huff. The minute I saw our friends, my mood shifted from grump to happy. I smiled and waved, walking quickly over to the table where they all sat. Ryan was the first to greet me, followed by Becky. They both gave me tight squeezes at the same time.

"Guys... Can't breath!"

"Sorry.' They both pulled away and Ryan put sheepish grin on his face. 'Making up for lost time, Jess." I couldn't help but smile at the statement. I was still smiling when Sam, Dean, and the bitch walked up to the table. Hugs were shared and smiles passed along by everyone. It was finally Becky who realized that Ruby stood by the table, hanging back but still complete with attitude.

"Whose this?" Becky gave her a half smile, then looked to my face. Sam and Dean looked at each other, clearly freaking out over what explanation they could offer to the questioning crowd. They both looked flabbergasted. After a few seconds of silence except for their "ahh's" and "uhh's", I stepped up to the plate.

"This is Ruby.' My voice was flat, though I can honestly say I did try to be positive. 'She's a friend of Sam and Dean. She a good friend." I looked straight into Ruby's eyes and dared her to correct me. I was greeted with an equally intense stare but silence followed. Sam and Dean stared at me, and after meeting their eyes for a few seconds, I turned to look at Becky. She could sense something was wrong, but I didn't correct her. I simply shrugged and moved over to the table. I lifted up a shot and swallowed it. I turned to the rest of the group that stood there stared at me.

"Well? Let's get this party started!"

A few shots and a beer later, I was feeling a wee bit tipsy. I talked with Nick and Becky for most of the night. Shot after shot, I was feeling good for the first time in a while. I suppose that's what alcohol will do to you. I was smiling and laughing. But it felt wrong. The last time I did this, I was with Sam. We'd done shots together, danced a little, and laughed. His hand was settled on my hip the entire night, glued to my skin.

Every once in a while I would look up to see Sam staring at me. He sat at a table with Ryan, Ruby, Dean, Ian, and Jen. At first, I avoided his eye contact, willing him to focus on anything but me. But, after a few drinks, I started staring back. With every shot came another memory from this bar and as I looked deep into his eyes, I knew he could sense the memories too. I don't know how long we looked, trapped in a whirlpool of the past. I snapped out of it when Becky grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. It was our song, and we always took over the dance floor when it came on.

_I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me._

_I still feel your touch in my dreams._

_Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why_

_Without you it's hard to survive._

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._

_And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly._

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._

_Need you by my side._

_'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static._

_And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky._

_Can't you hear my heart beat so..._

_I can't let you go._

_Want you in my life._

Becky and I had first discovered this song when we were drinking in the dorms to celebrate Nick's birthday. We played truth or dare, and naturally the one time I picked dare, I was too afraid to accept my challenge. Ryan had dared me to dance (if you could call grinding a dance) with Becky, seductively, just for our guys. Becky was all game for it, but I was nervous. Sam stood up for me, saying I didn't have to, but I wanted to impress him. We weren't dating at that point, but he told me that I was brave to do it, even though I was absurdly uncomfortable, and that bravery dared him to ask me the out next day. We'd been together ever since, thanks to Ryan's stupid dare.

But this was Becky's and my song. We'd bonded over our dare, becoming closer friends then I ever thought possible. Every time it came on, no matter where we were or what we were doing, the two of us always stopped and did our dance again. This time was no exception.

Sweat was accumulating on my brow as I swayed to the beat. Becky and I were dancing together, having such an amazing time. I let the alcohol take over, allowing it to control my body. I stopped thinking, stopped analyzing, stopped focusing. I let go. I lived.

_Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky._

_They wipe away tears that I cry._

_The good and the bad times, we've been through them all._

_You make me rise when I fall._

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._

_And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly._

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._

_Need you by my side._

_'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static._

_And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky._

_Can't you hear my heart beat so..._

_I can't let you go._

_Want you in my life._

As I swayed back and forth, I looked over to the tables to see Sam gazing at me. Desire was in his eyes, and I knew the same reflected back in mine. I wanted him. It was like a hunger that I couldn't satisfy. I wanted to touch him, to hold him, to kiss him. More than anything, I wanted him to be mine again. I gave him a smile and continued to hold the gaze. I wanted to let him know that I was here, wanting him.

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._

_And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly._

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._

_Need you by my side. _

The song ended, but Becky and I continued to dance. The rhythm coursed through my veins and I felt free. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was me just feeling normal again. Whatever the reason, I was grateful for it. This release was exactly what I needed, and I made the most of it.

Three more dance songs came on and we danced to each of them. Thank God for being a "supernatural being", I was able to wisp away the sweat that covered my body and still manage to look perfect. No matter how hard I danced, I still was clean, just as I had been a few hours ago before Ruby showed up.

Becky on the other hand was a beautiful mess. Sweat coated her face and body, her hair was damp, but she still looked as lovely as ever. Nick had made his way over to us and they were enraptured with each other. The three of us danced and stayed with the beat, keeping our bodies as sexy and loose as possible.

After a wild song that had us out of breath, a slow easy tune floated through the speakers. A slow song, great. Nick took Becky into his arms and slowly moved them side to side in a dance. Many other couples had done the same, but I was not among them. After heaving a sigh, I turned and started walking to the tables. Or, at least, I tried to.

The moment I turned around, I collided with someone. Looking up after smashing myself into the chest os someone, I saw Sam. He had a tender smile on his face as he looked down on me. I couldn't help but stare, shocked by his closeness to me.

"Dance with me." It was all he said in a hushed tone. No words could escape from my mouth, so I nodded. Sam circled one arm around my waist and took my opposite hand in his. My other went onto his biceps, while the other, wrapped in Sam's rested gently on his chest, he having turned it to do so. I rested my forehead against his collarbone and allowed him to rock me side to side in our dance.

_We were drawn from the weeds_

_We were brave like soldiers_

_Falling down under the pale moonlight_

_You were holding to me_

_Like a someone broken_

_And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now_

_Just let me hold you while you're falling apart_

_Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down_

_Fall on me_

_Tell me everything you want me to be_

_Forever with you forever in me_

_Ever the same_

I felt his lips brush against my hair, and I smiled into his chest. I lifted my head from its resting place and looked up at him. He held me tighter as he looked down on me. My eyes shined with tears and Sam's were in the same condition. He knew this was my favorite song, and I loved that he remembered.

Slowly, tears cascading from my eyes down my cheeks. I was unable to stop as the salty liquid pooled at my chin. I tired to break away from holding Sam's hand to wipe them away, but he wouldn't let go. Instead, he brushed them aside with the back of his hand softly, timidly.

"Sam... I..."

_We would stand in the wind_

_We were free like water_

_Flowing down_

_Under the warmth of the sun_

_Now it's cold and we're scared_

_And we've both been shaken_

_Hey, look at us_

_Man, this doesn't need to be the end_

_Just let me hold you while you're falling apart_

_Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down_

_Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be_

_Forever with you_

_Forever in me_

_Ever the same_

_Call on me_

_I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me_

_Forever it's you_

_Forever in me_

_Ever the same_

"Sam. I am... I'm so sorry.' I looked up into his piercing eyes, trying to convey the pain and sorrow I felt deep in my heart. 'I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted this to happen... I dunno how it did. I'm so sorry...."

"Hey." Sam cut me off so quickly. The hand around my waist moved up to cup my face. I leaned into his warm palm, tears still raining from my eyes. I looked down, unable to meet his eyes, sighing from the hand that held my cheek.

_You may need me there_

_To carry all your weight_

_But you're no burden I assure_

_You tide me over_

_With a warmth I'll not forget_

_But I can only give you love_

"Hey.' His voice was a hushed whisper. I looked back up at him when one of his slim fingers caressed my cheek. Both of his hands were cupping my face while my own had remained plastered at his biceps. 'Don't. Let's just not go there right now.' Tears were forming in his eyes and he sniffed to hold them back. 'I just... I need to hold you right now, okay? I just need this. Let's just... forget for the moment okay?"

I could merely nod and remained where I was until Sam pulled me into his strong body. My arms wrapped around his waist while one of his wrapped around my back and the other moved to hold the back of my head as I laid my cheek sideways onto his chest. It was like old times, the good times. I felt safe in his arms. Just like old times.

_Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be_

_Forever with you_

_Forever in me_

_Ever the same_

_Call on me_

_I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me_

_Forever it's you_

_Forever in me_

_Ever the same_

_Forever with you_

_Forever in me_

_Ever the same(Ever the same) _

When the song ended, couples broke apart, but Sam and I stayed stationary in our place. He brought his other hand to cup my face again and my hands slid up to hold his wrists. With all the gentleness of a breeze, Sam leaned down and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and took in the moment. His lips were soft and felt right at his kissed my skin.

Out of no where, his suddenly pulled tighter, kissing my head harder for a moment before he pulled away quickly, brushing past without a glance and headed towards the door. I turned and watched him go. All his work of cleaning my face from tears was ruined as they again ran down my cheeks. My heart ached when he left me there, standing there alone on the dance floor.


	23. Chapter 23: Again With the Reunions

**Hullo readers! I apologize for the late late late update. For those of you who haven't been in correspondence with me, you should know there's been a lot of trouble going on in my life. My mother who lives in England (along with my three older brothers and father) was diagnosed with cancer about two months ago. I have been attending university in the US and wasn't able to be there until after I completed my finals. **

**Despite the help and doctors aid in my mother's case, her cancer was too far along and had a sudden death during my finals, before I could get back to see her. I've been in England for the last month and haven't been able to write much. It's been a very very difficult time for my family and I. It's been three weeks now and I am starting to write again, so you can expect more updates soon. Again, I apologize for the late update, but as I said, I'm still in England trying to help my brothers and father through this difficult time. I thank you for your patience and hope you will continue to read on through this story.**

Chapter 23: Again With the Reunions

**Sam's POV**

Her scent, her touch, her essence, it was intoxicating. Everything about her was just... sheer perfection. I had missed her so much and every second I was around her I felt ten times better. It was like the hole in my heart had filled itself back up once she was in the room. I didn't know how to handle being so close to her. Her body was pressed against mine and I felt everything that I had once missed. We swayed to the song and I held her tightly in my arms, wanting the past to disappear from my memory.

Once the music stopped, other couples broke apart, leaving me and Jess standing in the middle of the floor, still holding each other. Looking down at her, I took both of my hands and cupped her beautiful face. As much as I wanted to touch my lips to hers and taste the sweetness that was the love of my life, I refrained. I didn't know where we were or what we were doing. I didn't know what I was feeling. Kissing her would have sucked me in and who knows where that we would end up.

I chose instead to kiss her forehead. I started gently, wanting to relish the tender moment I would have with her. After a milli-second of barely pressing my lips to her head, I felt the need and desire for her intensify, and I pulled her in tighter, kissing her with all the love and passion I had buried when she had died. I held her like there was no tomorrow, like if death was on our doorstep. I pulled away just as fast as I had started and walked away. Another moment there with her would have led to the motel room and me ravishing her, something either of us could deal with the following morning.

Walking out of the bar, I turned around into the alley. I leaned against the brick building and breathed deeply. I wanted the feelings to go away. I wanted to know that over the past year I had gotten over her, that I didn't love her anymore. I thought I was over her, and I needed to reassure myself of that.

The bar door opened and I looked around the corner to see Jessica walking out and heading down the road towards the motel. Looking at her retreating figure, I realized there was no way I was over her, and I never ever would be.

**Jessica's POV**

After an awkward farewell on my part to the rest of the party, I slipped out the front door and began the walk home. It was dark, the air was cool, and the street was deserted. I was able to walk in the middle of the road without fear of being hit by a car. I slipped my hair out of it's bun and put the hair tie on my wrist. I let my hair cascade upon my back and I shook it out. I wrapped my hands around me, keeping my leather jacket open by tight against my body.

There was a slight breeze, but I didn't mind. I continued to walk down the street, enjoying the quiet calm that enveloped me. It was a mile back to the motel, but the distance gave me the time I needed to think. As the neon signs and businesses past by, my head was deep in thoughts of Sam and I, planning on what would need to be done in order to protect him from Azazel, old yellow eyes. The long walk in the dark once I passed by the shops and restaurants.

I was walking down the desolate street where nothing but fields expanded on either side of the street. It would be another half mile before I got to the next set of shops and restaurants that was seated next to our motel. The quiet went from being serene to being eery. The only sound that radiated from the area was the clicking of my boots hitting the ground. My hands wrapped tighter around my waist I walked directly into the subtle wind. As warm as it should have been for a spring evening in Northern California, the wind still chilled me, making me hug my jacket even tighter.

Suddenly, the wind swept faster then completely died down. I stopped in my tracks and looked around me. There was nothing in sight, but I felt certain that there was someone near, watching me. The air reeked of death and despair. I stood still, willing myself to relax. Without a single moment of hesitation, I knew I wasn't alone. I felt the presence of a known figure behind me. I dropped my arms from their crossed position until they swung by my sides. I gave a small smirk and turned around.

"What do you want now Ruby?"

"Well, hello to you too.' Her arms were folded across her chest and she was standing her ground, her stance was somewhere between a defensive and an attack mode.'You and me. We need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you." I spun around and continued to walk. Just because we needed to talk doesn't mean it was going to happen now. Us talking would happen on my terms. And yet, she was even able to take that control from me.

"He's a good fuck you know.' Ruby's words stopped me dead in my tracks and I stopped breathing. 'I mean... I've had some good ones. Fast and hard, soft and sweet. But damn, you sure know how to pick them." I could hear her heels as she started slowly towards me, torturing me until I gave in and talked to her.

"He took me hard and fast... I thought he was going to break me in half.' She was behind me know and I was breaking. I willed the tears away but inside, I was bawling. 'It was good, Jess. It was real good. And we did it over and over again. I'll tell ya, Sammy boy is a damn fine fuck."

She was in front of me now, so I looked her in the eye. As much as I wanted to kill her, I kept my head focused on the bigger picture. And killing her would hinder the greater good.

'But, I doubt you would understand. My guess is you've never done it before. In fact, I'm guessing that all you and Sam have ever done is 'made love'.' Ruby smirked and giggled. I wasn't bugged by her digs into my sex life. Who and how I shagged wasn't a secret. 'God. What a cliche." Lucky for me, I was also able to return with a witty quip.

"The concept of making love is only a cliche to those who have never known it." Now it was my turn to smirk. I think she was stunned for a moment as she replied with silence, but she reverted back to a harsh demon looking smug because she had had Sam."

"Sam can do as he likes, Ruby.' My voice was dead-panned and even. No emotion escaped my lips because I held it all inside. 'He doesn't belong to me. If he wants to sleep with you, he can. It's not like he had a lot of options while I was away." A hit below the belt you could say, but I was just playing her game, making her red in the face at my comment.

"You stupid bitch!" Her fist shot up and was about to knock into my nose, but my hand caught it. I made a fist around her fist and gave a tight smile.

"I don't wanna do this again Ruby. You're only going to get hurt.' I released her hand and looked her calmly and spoke with pure honesty. 'I'm not going to try and win Sam back. He is free to do as he choses. I won't touch him unless he comes to me. This I promise you."

I pushed past her and kept walking, confidence driving my stride. Ruby made some comment about how he wouldn't need me since she was available for him. The thought did chill me but if Sam had felt even a fraction of what I had felt while I was wrapped in his arms earlier, then I was sure he wouldn't go running to her.

I left her there, standing in my dust as I walked the mile back to the motel. Even thought I felt confident and content with the outcome of our little "chat", I still was uncertain as to where my relationship with Sam was going. Time was the only thing that could tell me anything, so my patience would have to be strong until I had the certainty I was looking for.

It took me another half hour or so to make it back to the motel. I took my time making my way down the dark street, but my mind was clear and relaxed by the time I reached the motel. I walked up the stairs and was about to open the door when, once again, the feeling of evil circulated around me. Taking a look around, I saw nothing. But as I reached for the door, the evil feeling began to overwhelm my senses.

I slowly grasped the handle and turned it. The door was unlocked and opened without a hitch. I opened the door to see Sam and Dean seated on the couch. Their focus was on the television, or where it was from my view of the room. Castile stood behind them, his attention too was centered on the area of the television. I took a breathe of relief. All their faces were contorted into serious and uncertain expressions. Maybe my senses were going a little haywire.

I walked in nonchalantly, and turned to shut the door. The feeling instantly intensified as I turned around and saw that the boys' attention wasn't on the television set like I originally thought. No, it was much much MUCH worse.

Right in front of the television, front and center of the guys attention stood Azazel. The trouble was just about to start, and it wasn't going to end well.

**I just want to dedicate this chapter to Charlotte Elizabeth Windsor Roberts, my mother who supported me in all my ventures. Mum, I owe you everything and I love you more than you'll ever know. 3**


	24. Chapter 24: A Fine Idea

Chapter 24: A Fine Idea

I was shocked, grounded in my place, unable to move. Azazel. The one we were trying our best to avoid. How the Hell did he find us? I hesitated as I walked in. I moved slowly towards Castile, taking my time, working through everything in my head. I stopped at the side of the couch, standing next to Dean. Sam watched me from his seat, as did Dean and Castile. We needed a plan; an escape route for Sam. He needed to get away. If Azazel got his claws on him, it could result in the apocalypse.

"Ahh, Jessica. So nice of you to grace us with your beautiful presence.' His yellow eyes flashed before me. Azazel walked towards me, grabbed my hand from where it dangled at my side and took it to his lips, kissing the top of it. 'My lady." When I was alive and human, people used to do this to every lady, a sign of respect. This action showed me that this yellow eyed demon still wanted me, though I'd love nothing more than to slit his evil throat.

Once he released my hand, his palm reached up to cup my face. I moved my head to the side, dodging his touch. His small smile turned into a disappointed frown. After the 500 years he had known me, you think he would have learned that I wanted nothing to do with him.

"I'd say it's good to see you again, Azazel, but I hate lying." I left all emotion out of my voice.

"Aww darling. Always so pure, so good. I missed that about you.' His voice was tender and the smirk of a smile returned to his lips. 'It is good to see you, my sweet."

He walked back, standing in front of the couch and commanding our attention with his presence. "Imagine my surprise Jessica. Here I am, trying to grab my boy, Sammy, here. And who should walk through the door but the light of my life? Am I a lucky man or what?"

"You're not a man, you fucker." Dean was harsh in his tone.

"You're right. I'm a very powerful demon. Thank you, I had nearly forgotten.' He gave a slight bow from his waist, apologizing for his mistake. Azazel then turned to me and gave a half smile. 'A beautiful woman can cause a demon to make such mistakes."

I looked over at Sam and I could see he was tense. I was uncomfortable with Azazel's closeness to me. Sam clearly felt the same. I hated that he was here, and I was anxious as to what the outcome would be from this meeting.

"Well now, let's get down to business. Shall we? Jessica, dear, would you like to take a seat?"

"I'm good, thanks." He simply nodded at my response.

"I'm guessing you know why I'm here. I'm here for you, Sammy boy.' His eyes flickered towards Sam, and I felt my heart nearly seize up. The look in his eyes made me worry. I hadn't a clue what he was planning. My body tensed up and centered, ready for a fight. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Dean and Castile take the stance as well. Sam sat still on the coach.

Azazel wasn't clueless. He saw the three of us pull up into attack modes. He instantly took a step back, preparing himself for a defense. The room was small but the tension and heat of the anger clouded the tiny space and made the room a tighter fit. It was thick, smoggy, the atmosphere crowded and heated, like a sauna, filled to the brim with tension. The air got tight, and the need for air became a pull on my brain and I felt strangled. If we wanted to work this out, we'd need more space. There was no way to finish this up in the confinement of this room.

"Gentlemen, might I make a suggestion?' I pulled my body out of attack mode and slid into a more posed yet tight stance. 'As much as we all want to figure this out, I think, perhaps, we ought to find a better suited location for this little confrontation. I mean, really, what would the neighbors think?" Snarky, I know, but I wasn't about to let them, especially Azazel, see that I was shaken.

"Oh Jessica,' Azazel's voice was like poison to my ears. I cringed at the sound of my name on his lips, trying to stop the dire need to change my name in that moment. 'Always thinking ahead, aren't we my precious pet?' I gave him a smirk in reply. I didn't enjoy him spitting out affection from his mouth. It felt wrong, unnatural, to hear such things come from such a monster. He too relaxed his stance and shrugged his menacing shoulders. 'Where should we continue this...chat?"

No one spoke for a moment. I just wanted a way out of this room into a place with room where we could actually fight and maybe have a chance at succeeding. I didn't know where to go. It looked like Sam and Dean had no ideas either. Azazel stood there, waiting for a response. Just when I thought we'd have no answer, Castile awed us all.

"South Dakota.' His voice never faltered, as he stood strong, demanding. He was a man with a plan, thank God for that. I didn't know what he was up to, but the fact that he seemed to have some itinerary in mind. 'The Winchesters have an old friend in South Dakota..."

"Ah yes, Bobby Singer." Azazel's interruptions were becoming increasingly annoying and unwanted.

"Yes. Bobby Singer.' Dean and Sam looked up at Castile, a look of fear, confusion, and regret shining on their faces. I knew where Castile was going with this, but it was clear that Dean and Sam didn't. I tried to shoot them a reassuring look, but Bobby means so much to them I know they'd never wanted to see him hurt. 'He's got a lot of space with limited neighbors. It may be a... more appropriate place for this discussion."

Sam and Dean hadn't changed their expressions. We waited in anticipation for Azazel's answer. His yellow eyes looked Castile up and down, then gave me the same treatment. I had chills while his eyes roamed my body. I felt so self conscience every time I was around him, and this time was no different. The feeling of insecurity was still there.

I could sense Sam's eyes on me, and I turned to meet his gaze. We stared at each other for a moment, trying to find comfort in each others eyes. I felt safe in his sight. My heart started to beat faster. All I wanted to do was have him hold me and melt into his arms. I loved him, always have, always would.

This situation, it was dangerous, and I was scared out of my mind. I couldn't lose him. I didn't want anything to happen to him. Azazel was after him, and I swore I would do absolutely everything in my power to see that nothing ever happened to him. He'd die of old age if I had anything to do with it. I'd never ever let him become a puppet to the yellow eyed demon as I had been. He deserved better. Sam would survive this. He just had to.

"That sounds like a fine ideas Castile. A fine idea indeed.' Looking around at all of us, Azazel raised his hands to his eye level. A twinkle appeared in his eye, one that frightened me to the bone. The room suddenly went cold and after Azazel said, 'Shall we?" he waved his hands in a circular motion and in the time it took for me to blink, my eyes opened to nothing.

**Hullo! I'm sorry this update is short and took a while. Writing has been a bit difficult since last month, but I am trying to do my best! Readers can expect a longer, better, newer, more brilliant chapter this Sunday night! It is the chapter I have been most excited to write since I conjured this idea! In fact, the next chapters are the ones that started this whole process to begin with, so I am most excited to share those. **

**Please do forgive me for the slow updates. I will try harder! I intend to have this story complete (if not, mostly complete) by the end of June. I have a Dean story I'd like to write as well as a Covenant series. Hopefully, I haven't lost you! Please review, it makes such a difference. You truly have no idea how brilliant your reviews are. It's like a present without Father Christmas! **

**So please, read, review, enjoy, and know more exciting things are coming in the next few chapters! Thank you so very much for reading and being so understanding. Let me know what you think!**

**xoxox Ash**


	25. Chapter 25: An Offer He Can't Refuse

Chapter 25: An Offer He Can't Refuse

Nothing. It was all I saw. It took me a moment to let my eyes adjust to the pitch black night. The air was cool against my body, and little by little I began to see my surroundings. I was outside, standing in the middle of a field. The tall wild grass brushed my calves as the wind gently rocked around my body.

I looked down and saw my clothes were changed. I was now wearing a white dress. It was fitted at my chest and waist but turned into an a-line skirt at my hips and swirled down to my knees. Over the white dress was a long wool grey sweater. It was a little too big, long in the arms and went a little passed my butt. It was thick and warm, wooden buttons lined down the front of it. I still had on my black cowboy boots, but my hair was back in a loose braid, straight pieces of hair falling forward towards my face. It seemed to be an outfit I would chose for myself, but the only answer I could imagine for this relocation would be Azazel.

By now, my eyes were completely adjusted to the dark and all I could see before me was prairie or empty deserted land. I could see smokey puffs before me as I took deep breaths of the crisp air. But, my breath wasn't the only smokey air I could see.

To my right were Sam and Dean looking just as bewildered as I felt. They too were looking around, taking in our new location. Both of them had their jackets on, something they weren't wearing in the motel room. We were alone in the field but a small nod from Sam told me they saw me. Sam was taking it all in, slowly. As he surveyed the area, Dean was busy whipping his head around looking hard for something he couldn't find. Panic was etched in his face, taking over the lines and folds of his skin. I turned around completely and saw what he was after immediately.

"Dean!" I called to him, capturing his attention without a moments hesitation. I knew the only thing he saw was my back, but the deep sigh of relief told me that he found what he was looking for.

"Oh Baby!' He cried out. Dean walked very swiftly to the car and with open arms he bent and hugged the hood of the car. 'Oh my beautiful sweet baby! You're alright my girl. Oh thank God you're alright!" Dean was cooing at his car as if it were a long lost lover or a missing child returning home from an exhausting game of hide and seek, which you of course lost.

"It's a car." I rolled my eyes and muttered. Apparently it was loud enough to make a dent in Dean's hearing.

"She's not just a car.' His voice was tense and angry, similar to the look on his face. 'She's a 1967 Chevy Impala. And she's my baby.' He had a look of passion on his face but then his face became sheepish, almost embarrassed. His eyes dropped down from ours to the ground. "My baby." His voice was a whisper. Had the situation not been dire, the moment would have been funny.

Sam began walking towards Dean where Castile suddenly stood. The silence that had gathered around us diminished within a few moments once Azazel shimmered before us. His smile haunted me and I could tell it freaked everyone else out too.

"Well, here we are. Good old South Dakota.' His voice was deep and taunting. 'Such lovely country. All this fresh air, such a beautiful sight.' We all looked at him as if he were a student, having taken too big of hit for someone his size. He was high alright. 'Now, shall we start?"

I gulped. I knew where this was leading and no way was I anywhere near thrilled with what was going on. I would do anything to protect Sam. To keep him safe. Dean too, since they can't seem to be apart. Castile and I would do all we could to make sure death wasn't their fate.

"Now, you know what I want...' Azazel began walking towards us, more specifically, towards Sam. Menace was in his eyes as well as scorn and hatred. He was a bullet, exploding from a gun, eyes locked on his target and refusing to deter from it. 'Let's just make this easy on yourselves and give me what I want. Then, no one has to die."

"What exactly do you want? Besides Sam?" Dean never did understand the obvious.

"Other than your baby brother? I want what any demon wants. Apocalypse, end of the world, death, mutilation, destruction, death... etc.' His eyes shifted to me, 'Oh, and that too."

"Why is Sam so important? You've doomed several other candidates yet for some reason, you've locked your sights on Sam. Why? What makes him so much better than the others?" Castile was calm. His answer was in Azazel's eyes. He continued to stare at me and that's when Castile, Sam, and Dean figured it out. I had known since the start but had hoped to find a way out of it. Looks like I failed on that task.

Azazel tore his eyes from mine and turned back to Sam. He reached his hand out, a ball of fire appeared and I knew he was ready to take Sam's life. I looked over at Castile and he gave me a look of warning. Sam and Dean were both staring at the fire. I could feel the flames sear inside me at the idea of Sam burning. Loving Sam gave my life meaning. It gave me a reason to exist. Azazel had taken everything from me. All that I had. He wasn't getting this. He wasn't going to take Sam from me.

"Wait.' My voice sounded so small, so innocent in the rush. Azazel immediately turned to me. I felt my heart thump in my chest, throbbing with the pain I was going to cause myself, and the others. I took a long look at Castile, his eyes begging me to stop. Dean was confused when I looked at him, and when I turned to Sam, all I saw was love. Confusion, uncertainty, but love. That's when I knew it was the right thing to do. 'Take me."

Even though it came out as a whisper, I knew Azazel heard it. He dropped his hand and let the fire ball disappear. All his attention was focused on me. I had eight pairs of eyes one me but the pressure came from my voice, not from the stares.

"Jessica. Stop..." Castile's tone was hushed. I looked at him and nodded my head slightly. I gave a distorted smile that I hoped told him I knew what I was doing. I turned to face Azazel and offered my greatest fear and the worst situation I could possibly fathom to him.

"Take me.' My voice was stronger, and with the speed of a turtle, I began to walk towards him. 'You've wanted me for nearly 500 years. I'm giving in. I offer myself to you. It's what you want, isn't it?"

He nodded, unable to speak. I bet he never saw this coming. He eyed me up and down, taking in my body, my mind, my whole self that I had just willingly exposed to him. After a moment, his face scrunched up and he shook his head.

"And I'm supposed to believe that you'd just hand yourself over to me? Give me some credit, pet."

"Of course there are conditions." I stopped walking, leaving a good 3 yards between us.

"And they are?" Azazel crossed his arms over each other and waited with amused eyes fro me to speak.

"I have 4 conditions.' He nodded his head for me to continue. I knew he wanted me, but this would truly test what he was willing to do to get me. 'Condition 1: Sam and Dean live. You let them go and they are free to do what they choose. They will die of old age and you will have nothing to do with them. Ever. From now on, they no longer exist to you."

"I can live with that." 1 down, 3 to go.

"Condition 2: Castile is also left untouched. You are forbidden to make any move towards him and he is able to continue his mission from God unharmed by you or your minions." A nod from Azazel told me this wish was granted.

"Condition 3: I want 72 hours before you own me. I need this time to say goodbye."

"24." Azazel was taunting me with his humor. He would never let me go so easily.

"48." I would bargain down to the last possible minute.

"36. Final offer sweetheart.' I nodded, accepting his final decision. I never even expected to get 24 hours, so at least I won that. 'I can't give you enough time to weasel your way out of this, now can I? And this final condition?" He had walked over to me and was now slowly circling me. I felt his eyes on the back of my head and I hated giving in like this. I never wanted to surrender, but what other choice did I have?

"Jess..." Sam's voice was tense. I hadn't looked at him in a while. Sam stood tense, ready to attack. Both Castile and Dean had a hand on each of his shoulders, mildly restraining him, waiting for him to make the attack. I blinked back tears and looked away. I couldn't do this if I was looking at him. Once look from him and I melted like butter on a stove skillet. I turned back to Azazel and though it took me a moment to find my voice, I was finally able to speak.

"My final condition. I get to keep my memories.' I looked him dead in the eyes, making sure he saw every spec of hatred and anger I felt for him. 'You can do whatever you'd like with me. You own me, my soul, my life, but you don't own my thoughts. I keep those and my memories. On this I will not argue." At my words, Azazel smiled.

"Of course, my love. If I took that fire, that passionate mind you have, you'd no longer be Jessica.' He took a step back and looked deeply into my eyes. It felt like forever, but the reality of it was that we stood there for merely a minute. He thought hard, determining whether my deal was worth it or not. I couldn't breathe. We had no other plan, so if Azazel didn't accept this, we could expect death. He finally nodded his head and smiled at me. 'We have a deal Jessica. Shall we seal it?"

"No!" Sam screamed and I could hear a scuffle as Azazel pressed his dead cold lips on mine. We both kept our eyes open and my arms remained at my sides though his wrapped me in a tight embrace. He finally released me after a moment and I stepped back. I looked down to the ground and couldn't tear my eyes away from the dirt. The scuffle still sounded like it was going on, but it died within a few moments of my moving back.

"It's midnight. You have 36 hours. We'll meet back here at noon on Friday.' I nodded my head but didn't look up. I refused to let him see the tears that were cascading like a waterfall from my eyes. Though he as leaving, gloating was inevitable for him. 'Friday the 13th, I like that. See you then boys! Jessica!" His voice cheered as he disappeared into the night.

We were now all alone in the field. I didn't need to look up to see that. The wind brushing through the tall grass was the only noise heard. After a few long moments of silence, I heard the car doors open and one slammed shut with such force. Sam. I shuddered sending chills up my spine. It was over and done with. I wiped the tears from my eyes as Dean walked up to me. I looked up and saw Sam and Castile sitting in the car, both with furious looks on their faces. They couldn't be too happy with me.

"We're ah... we're going to crash at Bobby's.' One of his hands was tucked into his jeans pocket and the other scratched behind his head. He didn't look me in the eye. 'It's just a mile down the road. You ready?"

"I'm fine.' No use feeling sorry for oneself. If these were my last days or nights as a girl, I would enjoy them. 'I think I'm going to walk. But I'll meet you there. Soon. I just need..."

"Time. Right. I got that.' Dean nodded his head and began to walk towards the Impala. He hadn't walked more than a yard before he turned back to me and looked me deep in the eyes. "Thank you." His voice was barely a whisper. I nodded and let him continue walking.

I stood there until the Impala's engine roared and I heard it pull away. Once it was only a sound in the distance, I dropped to my knees in the dirt and sobbed as my heart broke. This was it. The end. I ran through every moment that had led to this one and I fell apart.

Once I had sorted my mind out, I stood, wiped away my tears, and crossed my hands over my chest, hugging myself close. Taking a deep breath in, I held my head high and began to walk down the road to Bobby's. Alone. The wide lonely road stretched out before me but, as I have always done, I put one foot in front of the other and kept moving forward, telling myself that everything would be alright.

**Sorry to have kept you waiting! Please Please Please PLEASE review! I really could use the help right now. It will make my day!**


	26. Chapter 26: Meant To Be

Chapter 26: Meant To Be

It took me an hour or so to walk to Bobby's house. The walk was long but nurturing. It gave me plenty of time to think. I was scared; not knowing why lay ahead churned my stomach. But once I saw the lights radiating out of the windows and knowing that Sam, the love of my life, was safely inside made me positive that I had done the right thing.

The stairs creaked as I walked up the three that led me to the porch. The porch also made squeaking noises as I walked up to the door. I stood there for a moment, not moving before the door. My wool sweater was wrapped around my body, held closed with one of my hands. My white dress blew with the breeze giving me goosebumps up and down my legs. Thank goodness for my boots, at least they provided some form of warmth for my cold toes.

As I was about to raise my hand to knock on the door it suddenly opened. The man who opened the door I presumed was Bobby. He was taller than me by just a few inches. He wore a faded plaid shirt, jeans, and a worn out ball cap. He looked tired and scruffy, his grey beard was messy and he looked tired, worn down. I tried to smile but it came out as a strained one.

"Well you here must be Jessica.' His voice was scratchy but soothing. I nodded my head because I couldn't trust myself to speak. Bobby opened the door wider and scooted aside, willing me to enter. 'Don't just stand there like an idjiit, girl. C'mon on."

I was ushered inside to the living room where Dean was sitting back on the couch drinking a cold bottled beer looking unfazed as I walked into the room. Castile stood beside Dean as the couch backed up into the staircase. Sam was leaning up against the fireplace mantle and when he looked up at me there was fear and love.

I locked eyes with him and it felt like heaven in the moments we looked at each other. I don't know if it's possible for me to describe everything that went on in that moment. I fell in love with Sam all over again. My heart swelled, the entire room disappeared, and any fear or doubts I had before evaporated into thin air. I needed nothing more than Sam.

He moved from leaning against the mantle to facing me completely. Silence filled the room and seeing him stand there, completely focused on me, it made me break down. Everything that had happened and the ideas of what was to happen finally hit me. As if I haven't cried enough within the past few days, I lost it there and then. Tears welled up in my eyes and then fell down my face as I began to sob.

My crying wasn't pretty. My body started shaking as I raised my hands to my face and cried into my palms. My knees gave out and I landed on the hard wood floor but I didn't move my hands from my face. I was down on the ground for less than five seconds before I was wrapped tightly in a deep warm hug. I didn't need to look up to know it was Sam holding me.

With my hands still pressed to my face Sam put one of his hands on the back of my head and held it to the crook of his neck, while the other arms was wrapped around my shoulders. My hair was loose from the braid but it didn't bother me while Sam stroked my head. He made hushing noises, soothing my tears. I felt warm wet drops on my neck which told me that Sam was crying too.

What felt like a year was only twenty minutes when I was calm enough to pull away from Sam's neck. I could feel the heat blush across my face which was red and blotchy from intense crying. I sniffled a little too and tucked the escaping hairs from my braid behind my ears but once again while once again I couldn't bring myself to look Sam in the eyes.

Lucky Sam. When he cried (if he ever did), he never got red and blotchy like me. He never made noises while he cried either. He was composed and clean with little tears trickling down his face. He sniffled a little too which made me look up at him because of the noise. I started to giggle as we made eye contact. He soon joined me in the giggling and we laughed for a few moments.

Once I calmed down I surveyed the room and noticed that we were alone. Sometime during my crying spree and our fit of giggles Castile, Dean, and Bobby had vacated the living room. I noticed out the window that there was a light coming from the large barn I had seen when I had first walked here.

"I guess we know how to clear a room." Sam too had noticed that the room was empty. We were still on our knees in them middle of the living room. When I looked him in the eyes again and my smile disappeared as he did the same. We stared at each other. We were so close, there was very little space between us. Timidly, almost too slowly, Sam reached over and cupped my face and kissed my lips. He was so sweet and tasted just as perfect as I remembered.

We pulled away very slowly and I looked deep into his eyes. Suddenly all the passion and lust I had felt for Sam, everything I had ever felt came rushing at me like train powering through on the tracks. I needed him then and now, and the look in his eyes told me he felt the same.

The next moment I felt Sam's lips come crashing down on mine. He kissed me with a hunger I hadn't ever felt. His touch wasn't sweet or tender, it was rushed, hard, and intense. Before, we had always been slow with each other, taking our time as were intimate. But this was raw intense need.

His lips were on mine, kissing me like I was the oxygen he needed in order to breathe. With one hand wrapped around my waist and the other gripping my face, we kissed passionately. His grip hurt but it was exactly what we both wanted.

Sam suddenly moved the hand from my face and moved it to under my knees, sweeping me up into his arms like a new bride. My hands wound around his neck and ran through his hair, kneading as he carried me through the living room and up the staircase all while kissing me.

When we reached the top of the stairs Sam carried me to the second room on the top stairs. The door was already open so all Sam had to do was kick the door shut after he carried me in. Normally, he would have laid me softly onto the bed, but he had no patience this time and neither did I. He dropped me onto the bed and I quickly moved remove my boots as he took off his own. I got to my knees when I was done and locked Sam in a tight kiss.

I tried to unbutton the top of his shirt but I fumbled and wasn't able to unbutton it. The hunger and need I had for Sam demanded his body then and now, so without a second thought I took each side of his collar and ripped it down the middle. Plastic buttons flew everywhere but the flannel shirt was free from his chiseled body.

Sam had always been more skilled than I and was able to unbutton my sweater without ruining the material. I saw a quick flash of Sam standing in front of me in just his jeans before he slid my dress up over my head, leaving me in just my bra and panties.

Once it was gone, I grabbed him and pulled him onto the bed on his back while I straddled him. I was not usually so dominant in bed but the need I had overtook me. I leaned down over him and kissed him throughly. His hands massaged my lower back and then one slid up to unclasp my soft white bra. Once it came off, Sam rolled us over so he was on top. As he kissed me and massaged my breasts, I unbuttoned his jeans and slid them off as far as my hands could reach, letting my feet slide them off all the way. His boxers came off with them and my panties followed.

I again rolled him over onto his back so his head was on the yellow pillow by the beds headboard. Taking no time at all and not bothering with a condom, I lowered myself onto him taking his entire length into my body. I almost lost it there and then. I was in ecstasy each moment we were together. We weren't gentle, not like we had always been before. It was primitive, rough, hard, and fast. Rather then cherish me, Sam finally put his muscles to use and used his strength to send me over the edge. I cried out multiple times but we still continued. I had always thought those muscles were just there for show, but now I knew he actually could use them.

I was in control for a few moments, riding on top of him before he flipped us over and began to thrust himself with such strength into me. Had it not been for the fact that I was in pure ecstasy I would have been too worried about him breaking me in half. Sam suddenly moved his hands up to my shoulder blades and pulled me up so I was sitting on his lap as he sat on the bed as well.

As our bodies moved together our friction created heaven for the both of us. I felt daring as we were moving hard and fast so I looked him straight in the eyes as he helped me lift my body up and down while my hands were wound around his neck. Staring into his eyes made the moment more intimate than any other I had ever expected. Our breath came in simultaneous deep breaths and we moved together creating rhythm that went beyond feeling incredible.

We were still staring deep into each others eyes when I finally reached my peak. I had orgasmed before when we had made love but this primitive raw need for one another sent me over the edge into the most sensational and intoxicating wave of sheer perfection. My entire body shook and I cried out, whimpering his name and relinquishing all power to him.

Coming down from my high, I saw Sam coming down from his as well. We both continued to look but our breaths became shallower and shallower. Though our breathing had gone from heavy to simply light panting, Sam didn't move me and I made no effort to slide off his lap. As we sat there, I finally made the move to lean in and kiss him. This time the primitive need was gone and what was left was sweet love and tenderness.

Minutes later, Sam and I were lying down on the bed. His was flat on his back and my head was laying on his chest and I was on my side. His arms were wrapped around on me. He kissed my forehead and we laid there in silence for a little while. I didn't want to be the first one to break the silence so I waited for Sam to say something, which only took him a few minutes.

"Baby, I love you." It was all he needed to say. Those were the only four words I wanted him to say.

"I love you." It felt so good to finally say it back after being with Sam for a few days. It was a natural response for me because it was all I felt. After that exchange we both started to doze off, tired from our earlier excursions. But Sam had more to say as we faded away into sleep.

"Jess...We gotta figure this out. We need a plan...I don't wanna lose you again."

"Sammy,' I moved my head to look up at him again even though his eyes were closed and sleep was starting to overtake him. I gently kissed his beautiful soft lips and then snuggled deeper into his chest while he pulled me tighter. 'Sleep baby. I got a plan." I was fading out into a deep sleep to dream, although I am positively certain no dream could have been better than the night I had just had with Sam, when his quiet voice came out as a whisper with a response.

"I can't lose you again, Jess. I love you too much to let you 're meant to be... I can't lose you." And with that, both Sam and I drifted off into a wonderful peaceful sleep.


	27. Chapter 27: Wanna Make A Memory

Chapter 27: Wanna Make A Memory

When I woke up the following morning I was alone in the bed. My naked body was wrapped up in a white sheet. I was on my stomach with my head on the right side of the beds pillow. On the left side, Sam's side, there was a note written in his messy scribble. I picked it up to see what was written on it.

_Jess-_

_Good morning beautiful. You looked so relaxed, I couldn't wake you. Last night was the best night of my life. I'm downstairs making breakfast and waiting for my good morning kiss... _

_-Sam_

_PS While I think you look your best in nothing at all, I don't think Bobby, Castile, Dean will approve... actually Dean will approve but I'd really love it if my brother doesn't see my girl naked... please._

I smiled at the last part. It made me laugh. Dean would want to see any woman naked, even if I was with Sam. Thank God Sam was nothing like Dean.

Not wanting to waste another moment of my short time without Sam, I threw on my dress and wool sweater. I ran into the connecting bathroom and used Sam's toothbrush to clean my teeth, (Normally, I'd never do such a thing but desperate times call for desperate measures). I didn't bother much with my hair because it was laying mostly straight with bits of curl in it. Surf hair at its finest. Not bothering with anything else, I hurried down the stairs barefoot and made my way to the kitchen, which was empty itself, though voices were coming from the room next to it.

I was about to make my way to the next room when Sam walked in. Dressed in his Sam uniform of jeans, a white shirt, and a blue and green flannel, he walked right up to me, cupped my face, and kissed me passionately. I held onto his core as he swept me away with his perfect kiss, causing me to stand on my tippy toes to meet his height, though he had to lean down to help. His warm mouth opened mine and he caressed his tongue with mine. His skill blew my mind and I was left breathless when he finally pulled away.

Sam rested his forehead against mine as he left us both panting a little once he pulled away.

"Hi." His voice sounded like he had run a mile and could only whisper though he was out of breath. One hand stayed holding my face as the other swept some hair from my face behind my ear.

"Hi." I smiled and then leaned up to give me a slow peck on the lips. As I was about to deepen the kiss a throat was cleared from behind Sam. We looked but no one was there. But we both knew that the comments that followed was from Dean.

"Quite making out in the kitchen and get your asses in here!"

Sam took my hand and walked me into the dining room. Dean sat with his back to the kitchen so Sam smacked the back of his head as we passed by.

"Ouch!" Was the appropriate response to the smack.

"That's what you get you idjit." Bobby immediately stood and pulled out a chair for me as Sam led me there. Once I was seated, Sam sat down next to me and continued to hold my hand atop the table. He smiled at me as he rubbed his thumb over the top of my hand. Castile, Dean, and Bobby all starred at that motion though neither Sam nor I noticed. As I continued to look at Sam he sweetly raised the back of my hand to his mouth and kissed it tenderly and gave me a knowing smile as he settled out hands back on the table. Silence continued to engulf us after the sweet moment.

"Okay. Awkward." Only Dean would make such a comment as a time like this. He rolled his eyes and received pissed off stares from Castile, Sam, and Bobby, who had entered just in time with a steaming mug of tea. He placed it before me as I blushed furiously and cleared his throat once the look had done it's damage to Dean who looked put out.

"Uhhh... Sam said you didn't drink coffee and you liked tea so...' I meekly smiled at him, still recovering from my prior embarrassment created by Dean. 'It's Earl Grey... it's what I have..." He was worried which touched my heart. He knew I was important to Sam and he was doing his best to make me feel comfortable which I appreciated very much.

"It's quite perfect. Thank you." I gave him a genuine smile and stole my hand back from Sam to have a sip. The bitter sweet herbal tea was hot in my mouth and burned going down but it wasn't enough to hurt me. Sipping tea had always been a stable part of my diet and it was wonderful to be able to have such a wonderful cup of tea that had been familiar to me for nearly 500 years. I looked over at Sam and saw him smile at me with such pride. the look sent warm tingly sensations through my body and I held onto that gaze for as long as I could.

"Well now that you're awake, Jessica, we can now discuss a plan." Castile was so serious.

"What do you mean?" I was confused by his statement. Had I not already placed a plan in motion? What had the deal been? This was the only solution and of all the people, I figured that Castile would be the one to understand that.

"You bought us some time sweetheart, but now we need a plan that doesn't involve getting your ass dragged back to Hell." Bobby was quite frank, a quality I found most endearing, though I didn't find his reasoning helpful at the moment.

"So what we need is a way to kill Azazel and stop whatever he plans to do with Jessica." Sam was the brains of the operation, as per usual.

"I already have a plan."

"You do? What is it?" Sam pulled tightly on my hand as he turned in his chair to face me. All the guys stared at me waiting for me to reveal the master plan. I hated that they were so blind to seeing what was needed to be done.

"The plan is simple. I take the next... 25 and a half hours, live them to the fullest, meet Azazel tomorrow and fulfill my part of the deal. Everyone remains safe; no harm no foul."

A chair slammed to the floor and Sam stood, fury seething out of his eyes. I slunk back in my chair as he thumped around the room as he seemed overcome by anger. He had never acted out like this and while I understood where it came from, I was still bewildered by his actions.

"Sam... It's the only thing to do." I would try to reason with him while the rest of the guys stared at the situation.

"No! It's not the only thing to do. We'll think of something else!" He was yelling and pacing, a scary combination. I willed myself to show no emotion and so far I was doing very well.

"What's done is done, Sam." I kept my voice quiet and calm. I was already too upset with the situation, so it didn't help that Sam was getting more and more upset as the seconds were passing.

"No! NO!' He shouted loudly. I was scared by his aggression but was keeping myself in check. He turned around and rushed to my chair where I had turned in it to watch him pace. He slipped to his knees and grabbed my hands. 'I will NOT allow you to do this. You can't."

Tears welled in his eyes and his warm hands moved to cup my face in a tight but not painful way. He forced me to look him straight in the eyes where tears were beginning to fall from his face. "I can't lose you, Jess. I can't do it again. Baby... I can't lose you...please..." He brought his forehead to mine as his tears fell and I wiped them away with my hand. The rest of the room was silent but none of them had left, which kept me focused and in control, knowing that what I was doing was for the best.

"Sam...' I slipped my hands to cup his face as his own fell to hold my waist. I forced him to look me deep in the eyes, not wanting him to miss a word I was going to say. 'I love you, Sammy. I love you. And.. Because I love you, I am going to do this. I'm sorry."

My last words came out as a whisper because after I had told him I was going through with the plan, he stood up and stormed out into the living room. I watched him storm out and continued to sit there while Dean stood and went to take Sam out for some air. Bobby walked out into the kitchen and Castile motioned to come closer to comfort me but a slight movement of my hand told him I was better off alone. He too exited the room and I was left with my thoughts. Secretly, there was another part of this plan. A part that would take some of the pressure off the situation, but until I was absolutely certain it was a possibility, I wasn't going to give anyone, especially Sam, false hope for my life.

But, to see if this plan would work, I needed help, so I walked out to the kitchen and out to the backyard and I wandered around all the broken down cars until I was certain I was alone and couldn't be overheard. There was only one person (despite how much I hated the idea) who could help me out.

"Ruby."

When she didn't respond after a few minutes I began to give up hope. There was very little I could do without her help and though I would try she'd have an easier time to get what I needed.

I had been sitting there for about twenty minutes and was about to get up and walk back to the house when Ruby showed up right in front of me.

"You rang?" Her voice wasn't sarcastic or demanding, though her comment was. Instead, she sounded shy, soft, sympathetic. Her arms were folded against her chest and she looked at the floor... very un-Ruby like.

"Yes. I need some help." I kept my eyes on her, waiting for her next reaction. I was too used to her blowing up and starting a fight with me to accept this kindness from her as what it really was, kindness.

"Yea. Okay." She still didn't look at me.

"If you can, I need the Meridian Dagger. It was last seen with..."

"Napoleon and his weapon collection, I know. When do you need it by?"

"Tomorrow. Before noon."

"Consider it done.' She didn't look at me, but turned around and started to walk away. About five feet from me, Ruby turned, looked me in the eye, and said something I never expected. 'I know what you're doing. It's brave, Jess. Stupid, but brave.' WIth that, she turned around and continued walking yelling from her strides, 'I'll have it to you by 5 tonight!" She then disappeared.

I sat there on a car for a while, enjoying the sun radiate heat onto my body. For once, I didn't worry about a sun burn but wanted to take in as much of the golden rays as possible. I wanted my last minutes to count and I was set on taking everything in, including the sunshine.

I must have dozed off laying there, but when I woke up the sun was further than noon, so I decided to hightail it back into the house before I needed to be searched for. I walked to the front door of Bobby's house to see Castile standing there on the front porch. He looked as though he was tired, exhausted from the stress he'd had to endure for the past 6 months. Though his host body looked worn down, his eyes reflected it the most. I walked to the bottom of the stairs and gave him a genuine smile.

"Hello."

"Jessica." He nodded his head as I strode up to meet him. But, rather than stand next to him, I chose to sit on the top stair and patiently waited for him to join me. He sat a moment later directly beside me and I felt the scratch of his duster brush through my dress. We were enveloped in silence, neither of us needing to speak but instead caught up with our thoughts. It was comfortable and once I had thought everything through, I opened my mouth the speak, but was cut off by Castile.

"This isn't right, Jessica. You shouldn't be sacrificing yourself for this cause. God wouldn't want his."

"Well, God really doesn't get a say now, does he?" I smirked, playing the smart ass role.

"I don't want this for you.' Blunt but calm was Castile's tone and it made me feel bad for trying to tease about the situation. Looking at the bigger picture I realized that my decision not only effected me, but those around me. Though it was me who would play martyr, the rest of my friends and loved ones were also victims in this mess. At Castile's words, all I could do was nod. 'You shouldn't have to do this."

"But I am.' We sat in silence for a minute, letting the cool breeze around us speak. I knew I needed to tell him that I had a plan, or at least a thought that would work. I knew he wouldn't like it, but I knew he'd take it much better than Sam would when he found out. 'I have a plan, you know."

"Okay. Lets hear it."

"I'm getting the Meridian Dagger."

"The Meridian Dagger? How? When? What can you do with it?"

"Ruby's getting it.' He gave me a look of disbelief and my only response was to nod. 'We go through the motions, let Azazel do his thing..."

"What?' He was shocked. He stood and threw his hands in the hair in exasperation, clearly unhappy with my choice. 'So your plan is to go through with this? How can you?"

"Castile, listen,' I stood to to meet his face although I wasn't tall enough to meet him. So, I stood on the top stair, giving myself the height to look him straight in the eye. 'There is no way out of this deal. I gave my word. We sealed the pact. I can do nothing about that now...But I can do something for Sam, Dean, and you. I haven't lived for 5 centuries just to die in a contract. My death, or whatever it is, it's gonna have something good come out of it. Trust me."

I waited in silence for his answer, not once adverting my eyes choosing to stare him down until he caved, though I doubt I could ever pressure Castile into anything. He held my gaze until he finally sighed and shrugged his shoulders, giving in to my plan.

"What's the plan, Jessica?" I gave him a slight smile, a thank you for hearing me out. We continued to stand as I revealed my plan. I was nervous as to his reaction to my idea, but in the end he surprised me by agreeing it was the right plan to follow.

"It's a good idea. I just can't stand the idea of you dying like this.' He took a step towards me and grasped my shoulders as tears welled in his eyes. For once, I didn't fall apart but was able to stay composed and strong. 'I saved you Jessica. Your family to me. You're too good to go out like this. Please, let me find another way."

I silenced Castile by pulling him into a deep hug. I felt his shudder and gasping breaths told me he was crying. I held him tighter, so touched by his feelings for me. Castile would always be family to me. I had lived my 497 years without a father, a mother, a sibling, or relative. The closest thing I had was Castile, and he was all the family I had ever needed. How many times had he sat there and held me as I wept? Where had the countless hours he spent consoling me as I searched for comfort gone? He'd been there for me as no one else had. Castile had never been vulnerable in front of me before, and I was happy to take the time to comfort him as he had done many times for me.

"Castile... It's my time. I have lived a long and troubled life. I never would have survived without you... literally.' I pulled away to look at him. 'You and Sam have made my existence worth while. You both have given me so much. I am happy...no glad to do this one thing. You both gave me a reason to live... Let me give you life."

He shed his tears unashamed, letting his tears run free down his face. He gently nodded and we embraced once again. After a long hug, we sat on the front porch and looked out into the junk yard that was Bobby's yard.

We spent the rest of the day reminiscing about all the good memories we shared. We laughed and smiled through all our adventures and mishaps, giggling over all the mistakes and dangers we had encountered. Castile and I talked and eventually Bobby joined us on the porch with iced tea and popcorn. I now knew why Dean and Sam loved Bobby so much. He was witty, funny, and kind, like an overprotective uncle. He seemed to be a cuddly teddy bear, but I thought mentioning that would result in an evil glare and a "idjiit" comment. Our conversation continued until the Impala pulled up and Dean and Sam stepped out of the car around 5.

Sam wordlessly walked up to me and took me in his arms, hugging me fiercely. Dean walked up to the guys and they walked inside, mentioning something about supper needing to fixed. We held onto each other, and when we finally did part, our lips touched tenderly and we kissed softly.

"We need to talk. The plan..." Sam cut me off with a chaste kiss to my lips. I immediately stopped talking, eager to take in his sweet taste.

"Later. We'll talk after dinner. Right now, I just want to enjoy this, okay?" I smiled and sat beside him. With his arm over my shoulder and the other holding my hand on my knee, Sam and I watched the sunset until supper was ready. It was the best sunset I'd seen in 497 years.

Dinner was filled with comfort food and an immense amount of laughter. I laughed until I cried, and I wasn't alone in this. Bobby laughed so hard he almost choked. His near suffocation caused Dean to laugh even harder while I watched Castile crack a smile. Sam's hand never left mine, making it hard to eat but a few spills were nothing next to the shocks I got from our flesh touching.

"And that's when the dumbass drunk Dean responded to the agent that FBI stood for 'female body inspector'. Boy, was John pissed!" The whole table howled with laughter as Bobby finished his tale, leaving Dean blushing with a grin from ear to ear.

Castile began clearing the table as the rest of us sat there. He was ever the gentleman during times like this. Bobby got up too in order to prepare for desert. We were having Dean's favorite (at his insistence), pie. He had demanded to buy four when Sam and he were at the market. Apple, pumpkin, mixed berry, and chocolate pies were placed on the tables in their aluminum pans. As a treat, Bobby presented very large plates (larger than our original dinner plates) and we were each served a slice of every pie, much to Dean's dismay.

Gulping our pie down with glasses of milk, conversation was kept light and fun. Unlike the rest of us who savored our pie, Dean seemed to swallow his slices whole and served himself more. When the rest of us were finished and Sam and Bobby wanted another slice, Dean guarded the pie with his life and was very stingy to share another piece with his brother and Bobby. His greed only made us laugh harder.

With our dessert done the group sat at the table, none of making so much as a slight movement to get up and clean. The unspoken idea was for us to sit back and relax, enjoy the evening as if it were our last. At least, that's how I viewed it.

The last laugh was awarded once Dean burped. We all giggled a little but it didn't seem to last. Everyone's thoughts were on the plan for tomorrow, and since the night was drawing to a close, it seemed to be the right time to reveal my idea. To be honest, I was scared, but because it was my life on the line I felt that what I said would go. Silence made the crickets chirp seem to come from a microphone emphasized by speakers that surrounded the table.

I decided to break the silence, but at the last minute I hesitated. I instead stood and began to gather the plates. I hadn't reached the third when suddenly all the used plates and silverware had disappeared and the sound of the dishwasher door closing could be heard. I looked up to see Castile retracting his hand and I knew he had used his power to stop me from procrastinating. He then motioned that I should take a seat, so rather than argue, I did as what was suggested.

"Alright, what's the plan bitch?" Dean's remark was met with Bobby's hand at the back of his head.

"Don't be an insensitive idjiit."

"I was talking to Sam, Bobby. Not Jess!" What a squealer. Bobby just shook his head and Sam took the opportunity to retort back with his usual response.

"Jerk."

"Alright, alright. Seriously, Jessica should explain how tomorrow's going to work." Castile always liked cutting to the chase since procrastination wasn't in his vocabulary. I took a deep breath, feeling just as I had less than week ago when I had needed to explain to Sam my life's story.

"I'm going through with Azazel's deal...No Sam. Hear me out.' I cut Sam off before he could protest my choice. He needed to hear me out before he made a pointless excuse for the plan not to be followed through. 'Tomorrow, the ritual Azazel will perform is a dangerous binding spell. It leaves both parties weak, very weak. This is an opportunity we need to seize. Azazel will be vulnerable, so the plan is to kill him, end him once and for all."

"And how exactly do you suggest we do that?" Sam was getting snippy, unhappy with my idea.

"With the Meridian Dagger." Bobby's eyes went wide at my answer and I saw that he knew exactly what I was planning.

"What's the Mermaid Dagger?" Dean never listened.

"The Meridian Dagger is a very powerful tool. It was made by the Lord and was given to Abraham to use when he was to sacrifice his son Isaac. The Lord wanted to test Abraham's faith and this dagger was the tool he was given to use.' Castile knew all the answers to the dagger, as he himself had explained it's powers to me years ago. 'This dagger is pure good. It can defeat and kill any evil. It was blessed by the Lord, Abraham, and Jesus himself. This dagger is...priceless."

"It was stolen from the Prophet Muhammad and was lost until it resurfaced in Napoleon's treasury. It's powers have been kept secret, just like it's existence. If it gets in the wrong hands, the damage would be... catastrophic.' The history wasn't important, although I knew Sam and Dean would want a brief idea of it. I continued on to tell them about it's use. "This dagger will kill Azazel. Not just send him to Hell, but literally leave him powerless and thus securing his death."

"So, one stab and it's all over?"

"Basically. But, Dean, it's so much more than that. We risk much bringing it out of hiding, but to get rid of Azazel it's worth it. I think we can trust it in your hands." Castile's voice was very reassuring. A comfort much needed for those of us around the table.

"How exactly is tomorrow going to go down?" Sam had let go of my hand and had placed both of his palm down atop the table. He focused his eyes on the placemat before him and spoke in a hushed whisper.

"Tomorrow, we meet Azazel. He'll perform the ritual. He'll suck my humanity from me and leave me in a evil catatonic state. It's a powerful spell and I know it will leave Azazel unable to defend himself."

"That strong of a spell?" Bobby inquired with care.

"Yea. It's a big deal. Once he is down and hurting, you need to stab him with the dagger. It'll suck the power from him, leaving him barely alive. It'll take a moment, but he will die. You'll know since his body will disinegrate into ash. Cover the ash in oil and light it... it'll be done by the the time the flames touch the ashes.' I grabbed Sam's hand and held it in the both of mine. He looked at me and I released one of my hands to cup one side of his face. 'This whole thing will be over. Everything you and your father have worked for... it'll all be over Sam."

He met my eyes and I saw a mixture of relief and worry cloud his eyes. I nodded slightly and ran my thumb across his cheek bone. His skin was smooth and soft under my thumb and the movement caused him to lean in deeper into my palm. His eyes welled with tears though he did his best to hide them.

"What...What happens next?"

"Then it's over. You can keep hunting or go back to school. Anything you want. It'll all be over." I tried to reassure him as best I could. I knew I was avoiding the real question he was asking, but he needed to know it was for the best and I felt this was the only way to tell him.

"No.' He turned to face me as I had done a minute earlier. We faced each other and he took each of my hands into one of his. Although I knew Dean, Bobby, and Castile were in the room, the moment was intimate. 'What happens to you...after?"

I squeezed his hand and took a breath. This was the part I had been not wanting to tell him. His reaction here was what could cause me to break apart. I'd do anything he asked, and if he begged enough, I'd abort the plan. But I couldn't, so I sucked it up and demanded that I stay strong.

"Once Azazel is dead. You'll need to take the dagger...and you'll...you'll...you'll need to kill me." There. It was over. Done.

But this wasn't what Sam had wanted to hear. He pulled my hands so I was closer to him and whispered no. He kept shaking his head causing his tears to shake over me as well. He just kept mumbling the word no. I took his face into my hands and told him what he would never believe until he saw it for himself.

"Sammy. Baby. I won't be me anymore. It'll be my body, my voice, my memories, but Sam, I won't have my humanity. I won't be me. You'll need to kill me Sam. Or I could hurt someone, or worse. I could hurt you."

Sam shook his head, stood quietly and left the room. I stood to chase him but Dean caught me as I was trying to leave the dining room. He took me into his arms for a hug and I returned his embrace. After a moment he let me go and nodded his head. For once, Dean didn't know what to say...but there was nothing to say and I was grateful that he didn't attempt to make a joke for the situation.

When Dean turned to stand by Bobby's chair, I nodded to Castile, ready to go up to bed.

"This is the way it has to be guys. I'm sorry." I tired to smile but I seemed to have run out of smiles. With nods and half hearted smiles, I turned, walked up the stairs, and went into the bedroom Sam and I had shared last night. I took off my clothes and slipped on one of Sam's flannel shirts from his bag, leaving just my panties on underneath.

Instead of crawling into bed, I sat on the window seat looking out at the night sky. The stars shined so brightly and the vast sky made me feel so small. I thought about how tomorrow would happen, how Ruby was doing with retrieving the dagger, how Sam would fare without me. I was deep in thought when an hour later Sam came in the door quietly.

I stood as he took off his shoes and jacket. He walked over to me and wrapped both his arms around my neck as I grabbed his core. We stood there, swaying back and forth for a while. When we pulled apart, Sam looked deep into my eyes and I returned the loving gaze.

"I'm sorry. Jess, I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry I can't save you. I'm sorry I..." I cut off Sam with a kiss, as he had done earlier with me.

"You apologize too much Winchester.' I smiled and kissed him again. 'Come on." I grabbed his hand and led him to the bed. We stood by it and began to kiss. It was sweet, and when Sam finally pulled away from me, I began to unbutton his shirt and pull off the one he wore underneath. Once his chest was naked, I smiled up at him held his biceps to keep me up as my knees shook. 'I wanna make a memory."

It was all I needed to say. Sam understood and he leaned down to kiss me as though I were an antique piece of glass and he feared he might break me with his touch. Soon, all clothing was shed and we made love in the bed. Where last night had been raw, rough, and primitive, this was sweet, gentle, caring, and slow. We moved in slow motion, savoring every moment we had with each other. When I came, it was better than any other orgasm I had ever had, and I knew Sam could say the same once he came down from his high.

After our love making, I rested my head on Sam's chest. We were both worn from our excursion and we held each other tight as we drifted off to sleep. Sam went to a dreamland first, leaving me awake. I looked him up and down, memorizing every bit of him. He was beautiful, and even now I knew I was lucky he found me good enough to be with. He had my heart and as I memorized his body, I knew I had his as he smiled in his sleep. And, as I admired his beauty, I drifted off to a calm and peaceful sleep.

**Okay readers, only 3 chapters left! Please please please review! I thrive off your words and I need them in order to finish. So please, review. Thank you so much for those who have... You are wonderful and this chapter is for you! Expect an update soon and should I get more reviews, you can expect one sooner!**

**xoxoxo Ash**


	28. Chapter 28: Here Comes Goodbye

Chapter 28: Here Comes Goodbye

We woke up early the next morning, determined to spend as much time together as we could. My heart hurt at the thought of leaving Sam, even more so when I had to go before. He made love to me, slowly and gently, both of us hitting our high together and coming back down to the real world, a place we didn't want to be. Tears ran down my face and they were shining in his eyes too. We laid in bed in silence, cuddling up next to each other with as little space between us as possible. There was nothing to say except this need to hold each other.

Sam and I laid there for an hour when we finally decided to get up and get dressed at 9. Sam donned jeans, a white shirt, a blue flannel, and shoes where I put back on my white dress and boots. I felt chilled, nervous as to what would happen later. As I stood looking out the window at the sunny calm day Sam came up behind me and slipped on his red flannel shirt, my favorite. I slipped my arms into it while Sam came around front and buttoned it up for me. He stopped at the third highest button, leaving the top open and he then moved to my sleeves and rolled them up to each of my elbows.

Once the shirt was on properly, Sam grabbed the tops of the shirts collar and pulled me to him. He kissed me deeply and we stood there kissing. His warm body was close to mine and I could feel the hard muscles underneath his clothes. Kissing Sam made me forget everything that was going on and made me focus on the way he made me feel.

We were interrupted by a mumble and growl that erupted from Sam's stomach. I giggled while holding him his torso, dropping my head to his chest as his body moved with laughter too. We kissed again then I pulled Sam's hand and led him to the door and down the stairs to the kitchen.

Dean, Bobby, and Castile all sat around the table in the same places as last night. Though they had full plates of food in front of them but no one had touched a single bite. The mood was somber and the smile Sam and I had shared a moment before was now gone and forgotten. Sam and I took our places around the table and though we both served ourselves some food and once we had our plates the boys started to eat but not with the full gusto they had before. I couldn't bring myself to eat so I sat there with them, doing nothing.

After a few minutes of silent chewing breakfast was interrupted by the front door being whipped open followed by the slam of it shutting. Loud footsteps were pounding on the floorboards and within a second Ruby was standing in the doorway that connected the dining room to the foyer.

She looked tired and her clothes were dirty, giving evidence to a scuffle. Gleaming in her right hand was a gold hilt. She immediately through it onto the table and the Meridian Dagger clanked onto the table.

"Here.' Ruby was dead pan in the doorway as I stood from my seat and grabbed the dagger. I held it up, gently as though I was carrying a new born child. I know the rest of the table was looking at the dagger with awe themselves but my eyes never tore away from the dagger. 'Took me a while, few demons I needed to take out, but I got it."

I looked up from the dagger and nodded my head in thanks. I don't think words were needed to express how grateful I was. Ruby looked over and saw Sam's confused face. The same look was plastered on Dean and Bobby's faces. Her questioning gaze came back to mine and I knew what she wanted to ask.

"They know.' I told her quietly. Knowing the plan was half the battle with Ruby and her inability to keep a secret told me that had I kept the original plan from Dean and Sam they would have known by now. I looked up at the clock Bobby had above his cabinets and saw that time had flew by. The numbers showed that we had roughly two hours until we needed to meet Azazel. 'We should go over the plan one more time. Just to be sure."

With everyone sitting around the table, we reviewed the plan one more time. When we got to the part about my death, I could feel Sam tense up and anger seethed out of him. We rehashed it out for about an hour with Sam never saying a word the entire time.

"Do we need to cover anything else?" Bobby was quiet but patient with the sensitivity of the situation. SIlence answered the question but after a moment it was broken.

"Is...is there any other way, that we can do this?" A hushed whisper broke the silence. It came from Dean, which took me by surprise. We didn't know each other, we barely knew each other at all. I knew he would do anything for Sam. We both wanted to spare Sam the pain of this but there was no way it could be done, no matter how much we wanted to change it, we couldn't.

"No.' I said quietly. Sam immediately stood up and walked over to the window. He was pissed, but so was I. This was becoming so much harder than I had originally planned. 'It has to be done...Sam, you need to do this for me."

A look of confusion and anguish clouded his face and I felt guilty about asking him, but I knew he would be the one to make it the easiest. It was an unfair burden to trouble him and I knew it was wrong to ask, but I felt comfort in knowing it was Sam who would end my life. It would be a circle...my life started when I met Sam, and it would end with him.

"I can't Jess. I can't do this." I nodded my head in understanding. I never actually expected him to be the one. It didn't matter who did it, so long as it got done. I looked to Dean with silence.

"Dean...could you..." My voice was barely above a whisper. Dean merely nodded back but was about to respond with words when he was cut off.

"NO!' Sam shouted. 'No. No one is going to be killing anyone. You hear me? No one." His voice was desperate, begging and pleading for this to go away, to stop happening.

"Sammy. Calm down." Dean was stern, a father figure to his little brother, commanding his attention and forcing Sam to look at him.

"Calm down? You're talking about killing the only woman I've ever loved! This is murder, Dean! How in the hell do you expect me to calm down?" He was up yelling in front of Dean as he sat there.

"SAM!' Dean's voice roared over any other small noises that may have been trying to escape during his outburst. He slammed his fist on the table drawing all attention to him, including Sam who was suddenly frozen in place. 'We don't have time to discuss this. We have a plan, we're sticking to it."

"Yea but it shouldn't have to include one of our own dying!" The silence that followed was deafening while Sam and Dean participated in a staring contest. Tension seethed in the room and it was uncomfortable to watch.

I got up at this point and walked over to stand behind Sam. I slipped my hand into his which made him turn to face me. Once again tears had congregated in his beautiful eyes. I removed my hand from his to place both of mine on either side of his lean torso. It felt safe to hold his strong and hard body in my hands. My face was calm, no tears descended from my eyes and I felt strong for the first time in a while. Knowing Sam needed me just as much as I needed him made me strong.

"Sam. Baby.' My voice was a whisper and I was looking down at my hands. I could feel him looking down at me as well, our bodies almost touching in this semi-private moment. 'This is the way it has to be. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to be evil... Don't make me be evil.' I squeezed his middle firmly, hoping to make him hear me. 'Please. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

I felt him nod, giving into my request and though his body tightened with disappointment I was relieved not to have to fight him anymore.

"Okay.' I took a deep breath and moved away from Sam. 'So, after you kill Azazel, you kill me. Then... all this will be over. You can do whatever you'd like. Hunt, not hunt, whatever. You'll be free."

There was a chime in the living room that sounded out 11 o'clock in the morning. One hour left. My insides shuddered and I felt frozen chills run up my spine. Time to face my destiny.

Even though we agreed to meet back in the field, it felt too open for our plan. Knowing Azazel would find us wherever we went Sam, Dean, Ruby, Castile, Bobby, and I headed into town where there was a very old abandoned warehouse we planned to use as the place for our showdown.

Though it was nearly noon the warehouse was dark. Barely any sunlight shined through the windows and the temperature was much colder than the outside since all the metal inside the building made it very cold.

We went up to the fourth and top floor because it was the most bare and was smaller than the others. Sam and Dean wanted to keep this confined in a small area so this was perfect. Also, no one else was around, making it quiet and easy to fight. Nobody had to worry about making noise since no one was around to hear us. I assumed the fighting would get ugly so the less witnesses the better.

Sam and Dean stood apart but close enough to reach out for help. Both help guns and were armed with other weapons. Bobby too was ready for action but he stood by the door rather than near the center of the room. Ruby was next to me and Castile was behind me. We all stood ready for anything.

Though the moment was upon us, I didn't know if I was actually ready to die. I had been preparing for it since I had made the deal but now that it was time I wasn't 100% sure I was ready.

It was as I was doubting that Castile came up next to me and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"You alright?"

"Yea.' I answered quickly. I didn't want or need anyone else seeing how nervous I was. 'I'm fine."

"You sure are.' His voice echoed in the room. Castile stood before me, in front of Sam and Dean who too were before me. We all looked in the same direction as he appeared before us, silently, scaring us all. He smiled at us, nodding his head in greeting. 'Tsk tsk for changing the venue last minute. Good thing I found you."

"I knew you would." My voice was sarcastic without meaning to be. He laughed out loud and it echoed off all the steel walls.

"There's the Jessica I know and love.' Once he was done he made direct eye contact with me and smiled. He held out his hand, motioning for me to join him. 'Well, shall we?"

"Give me a minute." He nodded in response and I took this time to say goodbye. I turned to Castile first and hugged him. He and I had said our goodbyes earlier, the day before. I felt him hold me and I knew the burning sensation in my eyes were tears threatening to descend, but I held them back.

When I let him go, I turned to see Ruby standing there. We stood there staring at each other for a few long minutes. She finally nodded at me and I did the same back to her. She mouthed the words 'thank you' to me and I smiled in acknowledgement. She took a step back and we were done.

I next turned to Bobby standing beside Castile. I kissed him on the cheek and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better.' I pulled away and gave him a smile. 'Take care of the boys for me." He smiled yes which was all I needed to see. I nodded and stepped back. I turned around and walked to Dean.

"Dean."

"Jessica."

He stepped towards me and I walked into his hug. When I pulled away after a moment he kissed my cheek.

"You have it?' Dean nodded and motioned towards his breast pocket. The Meridian Dagger was safely tucked away. I knew Azazel was too busy gloating to notice much of what I was saying, but it was still better to be safe. 'Stick to the plan. No matter what." Dean took his instruction well and I knew he wouldn't let me down.

"Thank you.' His voice was husky and tears brimmed his eyes. 'You know...it would have been nice, having a sister." He smirked at me.

"It would have been nice, having a brother.' I returned his smirk with equal sincerity and laughter. 'Although, I would have preferred one that was less obnoxious and pigheaded." I smiled up at him and he grinned back.

"Yea, but could he be this good looking?" Oh that Winchester charm. I smiled and giggled a little. Despite how annoying he was, Dean was quite the charmer. I hugged him one last time and said goodbye.

Now came the hardest part. I felt an arm on my shoulder and I turned to see Sam. Tears were already streaking down his face and thats when mine started to fall. he gathered me tightly around my waist and I pulled my arms around his neck. We embraced, bringing our bodies as close together as possible. We both shuddered with cries.

"Tick tock, Jessica. Tick tock." I hated Azazel and his impatience. I pulled away from Sam and looked him in the eye. Cupping the back of his neck, I pulled him into a deep kiss, putting my heart and soul into this moment.

His lips were warm and sweet as I kissed him slowly. His hands gripped my waist with a tight confident hold as his tongue ran along my lips. I opened my mouth and Sam slipped his tongue in my mouth. Our tongues ran together, massaging each other. The kiss became deeper and more passionate the more we kissed. My hands slipped down his back and returned to his waist. Sam's hands slid up to my neck, cupping it softly though our mouths were fast and quick with passion.

The kiss slowed down until it was finally few last soft pecks to end our intense make out. Sam wiped away my tears when we pulled apart and I did the same for him. I then took his hands in mine and leaned my forehead against his.

"I love you."

"I love you.' My voice was husky because my throat was so dry. 'So much."

I turned to walk away but Sam didn't let go of my hands. I gave another tug but he still wouldn't relinquish my hands. In fact, his grip got tighter as though he were holding on for dear life. A river was running down his cheeks and he sniffled but Sam's hands remained tight upon mine.

"Sam.' With every letter spoken I cried more. 'Let me go."

"No." His voice was barely audible but I could still make out the word as he shook his head in disagreement.

"Baby. Please. Let me go.' I captured his eyes in mine and spoke softly, soothing his fears to the best of my ability. 'Let me go."

Suddenly the steel shackles of his hands dropped and I was free from his grip. I took a step backwards, wiped my face dry, and then turned fully, walking straight toward Azazel, ready to face the outcome of my decisions. The clock stuck noon and though there was a tugging ache inside of me, begging me to turn around and run back into the safety of Sam's arms, I motioned forward and steadily went to his side.

"Okay." It was all I had to say to give Azazel permission to begin. With a nod of his head we were suddenly surrounded by black candles that had instantly come to life with a blazing flame. He took both of my hands in his, smirking the entire time. I hated every moment, but it was good to know that in just a few short minutes it would all be over. For good.

"Ut occasus, pareo illa lacuna of vox oriens, vigilo of threshold , vigilo procul porta of Abyssus meridianus, unbar meus tutela ianua north, pareo meus to order of vox." His voice was deep, menacing, and painful to endure.

When Azazel was done mumbling the words, he took a knife out and slashed both of my palms. He then did the same thing to himself and after he had forced our hands together, I felt the sting and heat of our blood mixing.

"Ut ego pretium is candela , ego pretium procul thee Infractus pectus pectoris infortunatus exsisto May vos secui alius dies Nunc praecessi vestri singulus mores."

I felt the magic swarm around us, enclosing us into this small space. My body shook violently but my feet stayed rooted to the ground. My soul, or what ever was left of me inside my body, churned and scrambled, looking for a way out of my skin. I looked at Azazel and saw his smirk only grow wider at my pain but it disappeared when I closed my eyes tight. Instead, all I saw was Sam.

I saw the first time we met, standing in the middle of the hall during move in day. He was flirting with me and I was embarrassed by his attention. He helped me carry all my boxes into the room and than sat with me and my roommate as we unpacked all our stuff. Ryan eventually came in to, but all my attention was on Sam.

I saw our first date. He was nervous to ask me out and I was pretty scared myself to be alone with him. Sam seemed too good, too smart, too beautiful for me. I didn't know what he saw in me but my nerves were shot to Hell when he knocked on my door.

I saw the first time we said "I love you" openly to each other. It was at the beach, a day trip we had taken with our friends. We had escaped the throng of people and wandered down to the water where, after splashing me with the cold sea water, Sam said the three most perfect words that sent me orbiting into the heavens. Once I came down, I said them backing, meaning every bit of passion, love, and truth that went into them.

I saw the first time we made love. It was my first time, ever and Sam was more than perfect. It wasn't his first time, but he was gentle and sweet. Somehow, he knew all the right things to say and all the right things to do to make me feel loved and safe.

I saw moving in together. I saw the happy four years we spent together. I saw myself dying atop the ceiling as Sam looked on and I saw our reunion. I saw the last couple of days go by in a blur and the motions of last night.

I saw the future I might have had with Sam. A house and a dog. His crazy brother Dean living out in the apartment above the garage. Children. I saw kids grow from infancy to adulthood. I saw Sam and I raise our babies then let them off into the world and then laughed as we sat on the porch and grew old and gray together. And, as we died safely tucked in our beds holding each other in sleep, I saw what perfection would have truly been like.

As I watched us sleep, gray and wrinkled in our bed, a blinding intense shriek of pain tore through my body and where a bright white light had nearly blinded me before there was nothing. I felt my eyes roll back and my body collapse as the spell was completed, sending me into a weakened state of unconscious.

**Two chapters left! Please read and review... would be most appreciated. In fact, the more reviews I get, the quicker I shall put the next chapter up. I thrive off reviews; good or bad. So please post away!**

**PS I know Castile's name is spelled wrong. I started writing before I looked it up and it just sort of stuck. I apologize for the mistake. I am very lazy. Please forgive me!**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**


	29. Chapter 29: A Dream of a Nightmare

**Hey readers! Sorry it's been such a long wait. There has been another death in the family. We lost my mum about two months ago and last week my grandfather (her dad) joined her. It's been a bit hard to escape and write but I'm finally posting the next chapter. I am so sorry for the wait. The next one will be up much sooner, promise. **

Chapter 29: A Dream of a Nightmare

**Jessica's POV**

Death isn't like they say. There's no bright light or feeling of euphoria. There is only darkness and silence. When the words were spoken from Azazel's mouth, I felt my soul being sucked from my body and all my goodness leave my skin. Then, I was surrounded by blackness.

When I woke up I felt my body on the floor and I was looking up at the ceiling. My entire body felt sore and I felt beyond weak. I couldn't move, no matter how hard I tried. My hands refused to move and my head wouldn't be lifted off the ground. I felt like a prisoner in my own body. I was looking through my eyes but that was all I could do. I was trapped.

**Sam's POV**

Jessica laid there, limp on the floor. There was no movement and she looked like a broken doll. I couldn't help the tears that ran down my face. When she opened her eyes I felt my heart break. Azazel stirred but didn't move, not like Jess did. Dean still held my shoulders so I couldn't move but I wanted to be there by her side. It looked like her and until I knew differently, I would keep believing she was my Jess.

Jessica quickly sat up straight like a rod, her head looking around until her eyes caught on us. They weren't the beautiful blue sea color that had always left me intoxicated. They were a blood red, scary and demonic.

She stood quickly without any assistance of her hands. The way her body moved, it was unnatural. We all stood there, shocked and I couldn't move. I couldn't take my eyes away from her. She stared at us as though we were food, a prey for her to eat.

"Jess?" My voice was barely audible but I wanted to see if it was still her. She told me that it wouldn't be her, just the shell that was her body, but I didn't want to believe her. I wanted this to all be unreal, a dream that had turned into a nightmare.

"Nope.' The voice that came out of her body was rigid and painful. It wasn't the sweet or timid voice that belonged to my Jess. She stood where she was, swaying a little. 'Oh, I'm sure she's in here somewhere. But we're both a little tired right now, so can I take a message?"

Dean pulled out the dagger and began to take slow cautious footsteps towards Jess and Azazel. I knew he was doing what I couldn't do. Azazel was still lying on the floor, unable to move due to his unconscious state.

Although weak, every step Dean took made Jessica tighten up into a defensive stance. She began to take steps backwards, trying to protect her defenseless creator. There were a few moments of silence. An eery quiet that settled in while we waiting for someone to make a move and begin the battle we had been dreading.

All at once, Dean rushed at Azazel but Jess stood in the way. She did a round out kick and knocked the knife right out of his hand, making a loud screech as it slid across the floor out of the way. Dean punched her in the face, sending her down to the ground.

"Jess!" A scream that ripped out of throat before I could stop it. It distracted Dean who looked towards me, giving Jess the chance to kick him in the face. Dean went sprawling across the floor and when Bobby rushed over to help earning kick in the leg from Jess.

I stood there during this action, my body frozen with fear. I needed to help but how could I? Jessica had given up her life for me but there was no way I could end hers.

"Sammy!' Dean still lay on the floor but he was shouting to me. It snapped me out of my daze and that's when my survival mode kicked in. I raced to the side and grabbed the knife. Jessica was too busy fighting off Dean and Bobby, giving me time enough to run towards Azazel. I raced there, meeting Castile there. The dagger burned in my hand, just waiting to be used.

"Through the heart.' Castile urged me to do it fast. 'Do it now!"

I raised the dagger and shoved it down into his chest, where his heart would be. I felt the muscle and tissue around the dagger. Immediately Azazel awoke from his catatonic state and sat up, screaming with his mouth hanging open wide. A swirl of black smoke flooded out of his mouth, twisting up to the roof. It whirled around in a circle, like other demons that Dean and I had killed, but this was different.

Loud and high pitched screaming came thundering out of his mouth. Castile and I had to cover our ears the noise was so piercing. I thought my ear drums would break. The force of the smoke pouring out of Azazel's mouth forced me and Castile back, and just as quickly as it started to pour out of his mouth it stopped, and his body was slammed to the ground, dead.

As Castile and I backed away from the corpse it suddenly burst into flames. The heat rushed to my face and I could feel the burn across my cheeks. A piercing cry came from across the room and I looked to see Jessica being held by Dean, who had her arms pinned behind her back. The red color of her eyes matched the fire as she called out in a roaring pain.

**Jessica's POV**

When I saw Azazel's body go up in flames my body let out a glass breaking scream. Inside I was cheering, throwing a party that could rival New York City's New Year's Eve bashes. But, because I had no control over my own body, I couldn't share my excitement.

I kept trying to fight my way to control, but I was too tired. This evil, it was too strong for me to control but it had enough power to suppress me and fight off the men around me. The demon suddenly surged with power and charged me and Castile.

My body punched Castile, knocking him unconscious and then turned to Sam.

He looked shocked as I turned towards him. A growl purged from my throat and Sam looked truly scared. The dagger was still in his hand and all I could think deep within my cage in my own body was that I hoped that he'd use it.

Before I could attack Sam Dean grabbed me from behind and threw me back towards the opposite side. My back hit the wall and then my head was flung back slamming against the wall. Even with a throbbing back and a few broken ribs the demon within didn't relent. She tried again to attack Sam but was stopped again by Dean who punched me.

"Dean!" Sam yelled. I knew he didn't want his brother to hurt me. But, I also knew that if Dean didn't stop me, I would hurt one of them.

'Jessica. This isn't you.' Castile came forward and tried to reason with me. 'Look deep within yourself. Find yourself and fight this. You can control..." He never had time to finish because the demon attacked him, sending him back through the wide window that stood on one side of the warehouse. The sound of shattering glass filled the room followed by a thud, Castile's body hitting the ground.

She, the demon, turned back towards Sam, Dean, and Bobby and growled.

"Whose next?" Her voice was creepy, deep, and fierce.

Bobby aimed his rifle at my body's chest and pulled the trigger. The bullet pierced my chest and made her stumble back a few steps, but it didn't stop her. She looked up from the wound and smiled. With a wave of her hand Bobby flew backwards hitting a cement column and was knocked out from the blow.

The trick had made her resolve weak, and I felt her control start to slip. If Dean and Sam kept this up, they might be able to put her down for good. All that mattered right now was that the demon died.

"Hey!' Dean yelled, taunting her in his cocky rude voice. His smirk was irritating her. 'Blondie!' I turned to him, my body growling without my control. I felt the demon getting madder and madder. The taunting was working at getting her pent up with rage. 'Normally I'd tell you a dumb blonde joke, but I'm not sure you'd get it."

That was enough to send her on a rampage. She charged at Dean, taking my fist and smashing up against her face as hard as she could. His head smacked to the side, but it didn't phase him. He came swinging back with an even harder punch that was sent straight to my gut, knocking the air right out of me and her. Another blow was sent to the right side of my face, followed by one to the left. She swung back but missed as Dean ducked under the punch and scrambled stand behind her. She turned around, ready to hit him, but Dean was prepared.

Next thing she knew, my legs were being kicked out from under me and my body landed on the concrete floor, bruising my tail bone with a sharp pain. But she was quick to fight back. Arcing my back and using my hands above my head, she shot our her legs, kicking Dean low in the stomach quite near his favourite appendage and then with a flip she stood.

Blood was trickling down my chin from my mouth and nose. There was a cut above my eye but I felt no pain. My hand lifted to wipe away the thick red liquid that oozed from my face. The demon turned her head to the side and spit out a thick wad of blood as well as a tooth.

"As much fun as this is, I thought you were supposed to kill me." She started walking towards Dean and he moved to meet her in the middle. Both stood, ready for an attack but no one moved to initiate it. He too had blood falling from his pretty face. With sarcasm and cockiness, the demon poked my stomach where my flesh was exposed from a tear in the nearly tarnished dress I wore. She looked back up at Dean with a smirk, taunting him as he had done to her earlier. 'Still alive. You suck at being a hunter, Dean." He smirked which only enraged the demon more.

"I think daddy would be disappointed with your failure."

"Oh I didn't fail sweetheart.' He said with an even larger smirk. A deep and knowing giggle followed. She was not amused but clearly he was. 'I'm just the distraction."

I felt the confusion spread across my face. Dean? A distraction? A distraction from what? It suddenly dawned on her that Dean didn't hold the Meridian Dagger and that there was someone else in the room. She looked around but it wasn't until she turned completely around that she found Sam standing so only a half of an inch separated us. And the dagger.

The minute we made eye contact, both she and I felt the dagger pierce my lower stomach. Looking down we saw Sam's hand clenching the dagger that was using my body as its sheath. Only the hilt and Sam's hand were visible as the dress went from a dirty white to a crimson patch.

Sam yanked the dagger from my body, causing me to lurch forward. He dropped it to the floor while his hand was holding the back of my shoulder. We looked up to see tears fall from his dark and guilty face.

The shocked expression stayed plastered on my face as I looked at Sam. I felt the demon weaken to a state of an invalid awaiting death. My head suddenly shot up towards the ceiling and my mouth opened wide. The same black smoke that had swirled out of Azazel's mouth flew out of mine and with every particle that came out of my mouth, I was slowly gaining control and feeling back of my body.

When the smoke was all gone and the demon had finally evacuated, I looked up at Sam through my own eyes.

"Sam?" My voice came out as a raspy whisper. My body went limp and would have crashed into a heap on the floor had Sam not reacted quickly and grabbed my waist and laid me to the floor with a kind gentleness.

He pillowed my head on his lap. One of his strong arms was over my stomach, holding my waist stable and the other was pushing the hair from my forehead. He was crying but I couldn't. I was just trying to find the strength to breathe. It was getting harder and harder to take in oxygen.

I blinked slowly, trying to take in the pain from my body and the reality that I was about to die. My brain was jumbled with a thousand things I wanted to say, but I couldn't find the right words.

"Sam... Sam I..."

"Shhh... It's gonna be okay Jess.' He cut me off but his voice was too trembled to be assuring. We both knew I would be gone in a minute. There was no use in pretending that I might have a chance. False hope wasn't the answer. 'Stay with me, baby."

My vision was starting to be enclosed by darkness. I was losing feeling throughout my body and I felt cold. My body was giving up. The heart that had always thudded with such a strong and study beat in my chest was suddenly slowing down with such rapid speed. I barely felt it there. It was time.

"I love you, Sam." I spoke the words slowly, making sure he heard every word. With one last look at him, I smiled and closed my eyes. I felt my body relax and with one last deep breath I let go of everything and gave into death.

**Sam's POV**

She died in my arms. I cried, sobbed into her once her last breath was exhaled. I gathered her up tightly in my arms and pulled her limp body up to me. I wept. My Jess. The woman I loved. The woman I wanted to spend forever with, was dead. I cried so hard I couldn't breathe.

I felt Dean kneel down next to me, but I didn't move from my spot. I continued to cry for God knows how long but it felt like forever. I just wanted to be with her. I was mad. How could she leave? How could she just go and leave me here alone? How dare she leave me when I had just finally gotten her back? My heart ached at the feel of her dead and cold body.

A hand gently grasped my shoulder and that's when the tears started to slow up. I looked up and saw Castile and Dean, both of their faces filled with guilt and sadness. Tears were on both their faces but they were no where near as streaked as mine.

"Sam. It's time." Dean's voice was gentle, as though he were talking to a scared child. He reached for my hand that was cupping the back of Jessica's head but I pulled out of his gasp. I couldn't let go. I knew she wasn't alive, but when I looked down all I saw was my perfect Jess, her eyes closed as though she were sleeping. I had convinced myself that that was all it was. A deep slumber.

"Here,' Castile kneeled in front of me and tucked his hands over mine, wanting me to relinquish the hold and give my love to him. 'I'll take care of her, Sam. Let me hold her for a while."

My body went into an autopilot mode and I released Jessica to him. He gathered her and then lifted her over to the untouched table that was on the far side of the room. I followed him, noticing Dean and Bobby follow from afar.

Castile laid her on the table. He set her on her back, her delicate hands folded neatly over her stomach. The blood the dagger had shed was spreading all over her and it scared me, seeing her look like a horror movie victim. But, with a wave of his hand over her body, Castile magically wiped her clean, making her look just as she had this morning, fresh, neat, beautiful.

I walked over to her head and brushed the hair out of her face. She looked peaceful, relaxed, a look I hadn't seen her wear since our days as students at Stanford. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cool forehead. The last time I would touch her. When I backed up, I stood next to Dean who put his arm on my shoulder.

"Go with God.' Castile smiled down at Jessica. He then leaned over and whispered something in her ear. He stood back up and lifted his arms waist hi, palms facing the ceiling. With his eyes closed, he tilted his head back and mumbled some words. Once he was done, Jessica's body began to disappear until there was nothing but an empty table top before us. 'Amen."

We somehow made it back down to the car and began the somber drive home. I stared out the window, my body still on autopilot. It was a long drive. Dean drove while Bobby and Castile sat in the back. I could feel Dean's eyes looking over at me every once in a while, checking to make sure I was still there. Normally I'd be pissed, but I felt nothing but pain in my body and yelling at him wouldn't make it go away.

As we drove up the long driveway, I heard Bobby tightly suck in some air. Dean did the same and I felt him tense up next to me, but I was too entranced in my grief to care what was making them gasp.

Dean pulled around to the side of Bobby's house. I hadn't once looked up at our destination, but I knew where we were. Getting out, I looked over at Castile. He looked over at me and smiled. How could he smile after everything that had just happened? I was starting to get angry, ready to yell at him for his disrespect when I heard footsteps creak up the front porch of Bobby's house.

I looked over to my left and saw Bobby and Dean both standing there, staring at the porch in shock and awe. I could still feel Castile beside me, so there was no one left to suspect.

I looked up and before me stood the most beautiful angel. She was dressed in a creamy white, looking light utter perfection. There wasn't a scratch on her porcelain skin. Her rose lips made my stomach turn and her eyes sparkled like blue sapphires. Her long blonde hair was swaying with the breeze and the moment I saw her, my heart stopped.

I took slow steps to her, not wanting to frighten away this beautiful angel. I looked at Dean to be sure he was seeing the same thing I was and a nod of his head told me it was true.

When I stood before her I dropped to my knees in the dirt. I wanted to wake up from this dream. I felt my eyes dampen and I am not ashamed to say that I cried. The angel got on her knees right in front of me. With her gentle hands she cupped my face and forced me to look her in the eye. Within a moment of eye contact she kissed me deeply, giving me the sweetest taste I had ever sampled. Her slow kiss was heavenly and told me she was solid, not a figment of my imagination.

We pulled away slowly and the angel rested her forehead on mine, both of us not opening our eyes for fear the moment would end. My hands were on her knees now and hers were gripping my shoulders. I pulled away, needing to know if this was reality or if I was trapped in this dream of a nightmare. That's when a smile spread across her pink lips.

"Hiya stranger." Jess.

**Well, there you have it. One more chapter and the story is complete! Again, I apologize for the wait to those of you who are still reading. Please review. **

**xoxox Ash**


	30. Chapter 30: Love, Not Reason

Chapter 30: Love, Not Reason

I read once that, "It is love, not reason that is stronger than death". For the life of me, I can't remember where I saw that, but it seems to make sense.

The last thing I remember is the demon evacuating my body, leaving me paralyzed and close to death. The dagger took away the demonic part of me, giving the control back to me. I remember seeing Sam and I remember telling him how much I loved him. And then I closed my eyes.

When I woke up, I was standing in a court room. It was regal and elegant, and I felt so out of place standing there. Windows lined the sides and allowed sunshine to penetrate the glass. There was a large judge's bench with three seats. One large seat was in the center with two slightly smaller chairs flanked either side facing the audience and two tables facing the bench, which I assumed was for trial purposes.

I was in a cream robe with dainty slippers on my feet. There was no one else in the room save myself. I turned in a circle, taking my time to adjust to these new surroundings. I was facing the audience benches when a fake cough interrupted my study.

"Ahem!' I turned to face a group of men, all older and much taller than me. They too wore cream robes but theirs had sashes of gold lying across their chests. All had grey hair and beards, and all looked old and wise. It was the shorter of the men who stood in the middle that spoke to me. 'Are you Jessica Leigh Moore?"

I couldn't speak. A gulp slid down my throat and I could only nod my head with a tab bit of enthusiasm. The men grunted with satisfaction once I verified my name, but this did not make me feel any better about the situation.

"Excuse me,' I was quiet but still audible. 'Can you tell me where I am? The last thing I remem..."

"Miss Moore,' The tallest man cut me off. His beard was the whitest and he had no hair upon his head. His nose looked like a hawk's beak and his narrow black eyes made me feel like his prey. 'You are dead."

"Okay...' I restrained myself from rolling my eyes. Obviously I was dead, or dreaming, but I don't think even my subconscious was this creative. 'But that doesn't answer my question. Where am I, exactly?" I was cut off once again by the tall hawk man. Clearly my speaking was annoying him but I needed answers and I needed them now.

"You, Miss Moore, are here in the Court of Judgement."

"And I am here because...?"

"You are here because of your life and death, Miss Moore,' The shortest middle man spoke. The other two men had suddenly left his sides and walked to the two chairs that were only slightly lower than the main judges seat. From what I could tell, these three were the court officials. The man speaking to me held a large book in his hands and had yet to move it though it looked extraordinarily heavy. 'We are here to judge your fate."

"My fate?' I knew I had a perplexed look of my face but I made no effort to hide my confusion. The man speaking to me went and sat at the high center seat. He looked regal sitting above everyone else, but with them in their seats and me on the floor, it truly felt like I was on trial. 'Aren't I dead? Isn't that my fate?"

I received no answer, no reply of any kind. I was met only with an eery silence that left a bad taste in my mouth and a scary thought in my mind.

"Please be seated Miss Moore." The hawk man peered down at me and when I turned to find a seat, I was surprised to find a red Victorian library chair behind me. I swore it hadn't been there a minute ago, but I made no comment and took my seat anyway.

"Miss Moore, please verify that the following statements are indeed true and accurate according to the best of your knowledge." I nodded and waited for his declaration to begin.

"Jessica Leigh Moore. Born, 1537 in England. Died, 1557 in England. Cause of death is by blade, stabbed by Azazel. He is now residing in Hell and is not able to pay witness to this court."

"Noted."

"Do these statements ring true Miss Moore?"

I nodded, choosing to remain silent . I didn't trust myself to speak. I was too confused as to what was happening.

"Please note that the subject validates the facts to be true.' The middle man shuffled his papers before him, an act I'm sure since he wasn't even using them to begin with. 'Now, Miss Moore, is it true you were killed by the demon Azazel and turned into an immortal without your consent?"

"It is."

"And is it true that despite your connection to the demon Azazel that you have remained a supporter of good and not of evil?"

"It is."

"And is it true you have worked with the angel Castile in the war against evil?' I nodded in response this time. 'Noted. But, Miss Moore, is it not also true that you were sentenced as an immortal to carry out the bidding and orders of the demon Azazel?"

"Yes, but I had no choice in the matter."

"I see.' He took a deep breath, sighing in an agitated matter, as though he weren't really interested in what was happening. 'So, to speak frankly, you worked for a demon and carrying out orders that may have harmed innocent people though you did so because you, and I quote, 'had no choice in the matter'?"

"I was bound to him, sir. I didn't have a choice. He took over me, my free will, my soul.' How could he not understand? How could he act like I had done something wrong? 'I didn't want to hurt anyone, and I stayed as far away from the danger as I could but I was dragged in anyways."

All three men sitting at the judges stand removed the glasses that were wired onto their faces and rubbed their brows. I felt their annoyance with me from where I sat. But, damn them! I was confused. I stood with anger and demanded for my questions to be answered.

"Excuse me.' My tone caught their attention. 'I have answered your questions. I have been patient and polite. But, I don't understand. Where the hell am I? What are you doing? Who are you? and what the hell is going on here?" I was exasperated by the time my rant was done.

"We, Miss Moore, are the elders of life.' The one who spoke was the only man who had not spoken to me yet. His voice was deep, booming in the echoing hall. 'We are angels charged by the Lord himself to deem if lost souls deserve another chance."

"Lost souls? How come I've never heard of you?"

"Lost souls Miss Moore. People such as yourself who have been pulled into the war of good and evil without the knowledge of it. We are here to decide if you should have another chance at life.' Though his voice was loud, he also seemed to be the most patient of the three of them. 'You have never heard of us because we do not make our existence known. Those who do know us are either given new life or sentenced to damnation."

"You may not have wanted to do so but you did participate in actions of evil Miss Moore. And we are here to decide if a second chance should be granted to you.' Hawk nose addressed me without looking at me. He seemed bored, not caring for the situation before him. 'Your case is one of interest Miss Moore, especially with the plea of the angel Castile..."

"Castile? He spoke with you?" I interrupted him but I needed to speak. I felt hope for the first time in a while.

"Yes, Castile has pleaded on your behalf. But we must decide for ourselves whether or not you can be given another shot at life."

The men turned to each other and seemed to have a conversation in their heads. They exchanged no words but were looking so intently back and forth between each other that there must have been some form of a dialogue between them. After a moment they finally nodded their heads in agreement and turned back to where I stood waiting anxiously.

"It is our decision that Miss Jessica Moore be granted a second chance.' I smiled. I was going to live again! I could go back to Sam! I nearly started cheering when hawk nose lifted a hand to silence my glee. 'You will be reincarnated as a daughter to a well off family in Australia. There, you may start again and live a life free of this supernatural war as you were meant to have in your original lifetime." He was about to slam down a gavel when I shouted.

"Wait!' They stopped and all three turned to me with confusion written on their faces. 'Thank you, for your decision sirs. But, can't I just go back to my old life? Can't I just go back and be me, Jessica?"

All three men looked to each other then back at me, then back to each other. I was nervously standing there. I didn't want to start over. I wanted to stay as me and be with Sam. I didn't want a new life, one where I'd never remember this one. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best as they took their time with their silent conversing yet again.

"Miss Moore, you are a victim to this life and because your case is one of extreme delicacy, we may consider it." I cheered on the inside. While there was a slight chance that I could get back to Sam, I still had hope.

"But,' Of course there was a 'but'. There always was one. 'Because this is not an easy task, you must first convince us that you deserve your old life back."

I swallowed, feeling the stiff and soreness that roared from the back of my throat. I had never been an eloquent speaker, hence why I had chosen art as my major at Stanford. I didn't know what to say to convince them and blabbing seemed like a silly way to go.

"I want my old life back.' Big nose rolled his eyes. Go Jessica for stating the obvious. 'Look, I know you say I was a victim. Yes, I was a victim to Azazel and his ploy but I don't feel sorry for myself. In fact, I thank God that it happened."

All three men looked at me in shock and I knew I had their undivided attention.

"If I had never been Azazel's pawn of choice, I never would have met Sam.' My heart pounded at the sound of his name on my tongue. A smile was sent to my face and I couldn't help but feel a longing for him. 'I have lived a long time, nearly 500 years and I can say with all sincerity that I have never truly been happy until 6 years ago."

"When you moved to Stanford on Azazel's orders to watch Mr. Winchester?"

"Yes. He's everything to me. For so long I felt lost, alone, like a slave kept in the dark. But, meeting Sam gave me light and I have never seen more clearly than before. He found me, gave me a reason for being. Those four years we spent together were the happiest of my life. Seeing him again... it's been Heaven while we've been through Hell."

I started to cry a bit, silent tears streaking my face. I wiped them away quickly, but not before they could see. Once clear, I stood tall and sure, knowing that my next words might be my only ticket back.

"It is love not reason that is stronger than death.' I whispered those words to myself, truly believing every power behind them. I gulped and proceeded with all the courage and bravery I could muster. 'Sirs, I can't convince you to give me my old life back. As much as I want to, I know I can't. Because, until you know a love like I feel for Sam, you can't understand what it means to be alive."

"Given a choice, I'd chose to move on now, having the memories from my life with him then start over.' I smiled at the memories I had of Sam. His smile, his heart pounding next to mine, his fingers running over my arm as I snuggled next to his side during the night. The way his eyes captivated mine with just a split second of a glance. The way he melted my soul and made me believe in life again. I couldn't live without Sam. I wouldn't. 'Sirs, If Sam isn't in my life, I don't want to live."

I was done. I turned around and took a seat in the plush chair they had conjured behind me. Here, I would patiently wait until they had made their decision.

I watched as they turned and spoke in hushed tones. It only took them a few minutes to decide but it felt like another 500 years had gone by before they broke apart. Finally finished, I waited on the edge of my seat to hear their decision. I knew my chances weren't good, but there was always hope.

"Face your fate Miss Moore." With that, the middle judge grabbed his gavel and slammed it down twice on the stand before I could ask what he meant. There was a bright flash of golden sunlight that burst into the most blinding white spark I had ever encountered. The light, so blinding, suddenly went out, and once again I was left to pass out in the darkness.

Just as quickly as the flash came, I appeared into the real world. It took me a moment to take in my surroundings. Looking down, I saw the body I had inhabited for nearly 500 years. I could feel the wood beneath my bare feet and with a raise of my head, I saw I was on a familiar porch. Bobby's. I whipped my head around, searching for something, someone, anything. Was I dreaming? Was this Heaven?

Suddenly a noise roared up over the drive and I heard the sound of rocks and gravel flying under the rubber wheels of a car. The engine purred, just as Dean's Impala had when I heard it start. The very same car pulled up and I saw the shocked faces of my past companions. But, there was one face above all that stood out to me.

When he vacated the car, I began a slow walk to him, down the porch steps and onto the brown dirt. He walked toward me with the same caution. Standing before each other, we dropped to our knees. And when I touched him, I felt a glamor of hope that this was reality. The solidity of his lips when I kissed him confirmed my suspicions.

I pulled away from him, and leaned my forehead against his. I was in a state of shock and didn't have the words or the energy to show my glee. Once he pulled away and stared at me in wonder, I said the first thing that came to my lips.

"Hiya stranger."

With those words, Sam pulled me in fast and kissed me hard and without mercy. My body surrendered to his and we kissed with a fevered passion. When we broke apart, out of breath, he pulled me up and swung me around in his arms. And as I basked in the warmth of his arms, I finally felt peace and knew that nothing, not even the greatest of all evil or disaster could pulled me out of his life. I am home.

**Well, there you have it. I wanted to end the story on a high note and leave some room for the imagination. I have had immense fun writing this story and I look forward to writing one for Dean in the future. **

**This story and chapter is dedicated to all those who have reviewed, added, and favourited my story. Too many to name, but you know who you are. I hope you've enjoyed it.**

**Even though it is the final chapter, I would love some feedback. Review Review Review! What do you think? Let me know PLEASE! Look for more Supernatural stories in the future. Thanks to you all and here's some love being sent your way!**

**xoxox Ash**

**PS. I posted photographs of my images of the characters I used while writing the story on my photobucket page. See the link in my profile for the images.**


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